Well, the movers are coming tomorrow and we are closing in on the end of an era in my life. I arrived back to KY and moved into this house in January 2005. I was full of hopes and dreams about my as well as my family’s future. I was armed with the new found knowledge I had gained in EO school. We hit the ground running and never looked back. Alex adjusted to being back amongst friends and soon found himself one of three 7th graders to make the freshman high school baseball team, an incredible feat for the young man. 8th Grade football and more friends were soon to follow and he was off on his way to great things and the path to college was now underway. Jennifer was enrolled into school and on her way to living out her dream of becoming a nurse. Fast forward to today. Here I am June 2011, 6 years later and I am nowhere near where I thought I’d be. Am I disappointed in how my life turned out? Did I miss my boat? What in the hell happened to my dream and my future?
Those were questions I found myself asking out loud time and time again. But to my surprise…I have not received an answer…not one single answer. We don’t always get the answers to our questions and that sometimes sucks but its life and that’s just how it works sometimes. On the 30th of June I will be headed south to start a new chapter in my life and the lives of my family. In 6 years I have gained some great friends and made some enemies. My family has grown…and I have lost family members. I spent close to two years in therapy working on what I thought were my faults and weaknesses. I soon found out that those were my strengths and I found out I had actually gotten on the path to healing and a new found life that I didn’t know it at the time would not include my wife. A few months ago as I sat on the couch in my therapist office I looked over at Betty and she smiled at me. It had been a long, long journey and I was no longer that same broken and mentally battered guy that she had met close to two years ago seeking help and answers about his life and why there was so much pain when there was only supposed to be joy. We talked and reflected on my journey into strength and self-discovery. “Jerome, do you remember why you came here?” Betty asked. “Yes,” I said. “I told you I wanted to save my marriage and if I couldn’t… find the strength to leave Jennifer.” I’ve been divorced since Jan 27, 2010…mission complete.
So what does Georgia hold for me? New friendships? New relationships?, A New chapter in my life to write? I’m not really sure what the big Jumpmaster in the sky has planned for me but I know it’s something and I just need to maintain the course I’m on and be open and welcome to the blessings that are bound to be headed my way. I have dealt with more character building issues that I know have a skyscraper in my backyard. I have placed others first before myself in an effort to lay foundations for healing only to have them ripped up like a tornado out in the mid-west. I have taken steps forward...only to see myself sliding back two steps for everyone I moved forward. Yet…I have never stopped moving forward. I have never stopped fighting for what’s right for me and my family. Even when their eyes have been clouded by anger, hate and the fog we know as divorce.
So to all of you who feel that life has dealt you a bad hand…I will tell you this one bit of advice I received from a very special RIGGER. Maintain the moral high ground and do what you know is right; no matter how painful it is nor how costly (financially) it maybe for you. For you will be judged by these actions and these alone are what counts, integrity is all you have and it’s all you will ever need.
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