You Come Here Often? Or Shall I Say...STALK MUCH???

Stalking is unwanted or obsessive attention by an individual or group toward another person. Stalking behaviors are related to harassment and intimidation and may include following the victim in person or monitoring them. That’s the definition and it’s pretty clear. Why am I writing about this, because I awoke to a grip of emails saying anonymous folks were commenting on a blog post I did. So I looked over a few and had to laugh inside. How come these women are coming onto my blog and defending my ex? It’s no secret that she and I don’t get along and like the judge said in court "Mr. Dingle, she will never cooperate with you and she will never co-parent with you. I commend you for your attempts and wish you luck in the future.” So here it is five years later and a new crop of ladies are taking up defending Jennifer and have done so via comments on my blog.

The term stalker started to be used by the media in the 20th century to describe people who pester and harass others. So this is the internet, and you have to actively look for things. They don’t just pop up on your screen. Someone must send you a link or tell you were to go. So I ask, why come to my blog page? You don’t know me nor do you want to. So, is it safe to say you’re a stalker?

Pathé and Mullen describe stalking as "a constellation of behaviors in which an individual inflicts upon another repeated unwanted intrusions and communications." I don’t know any of these ladies nor do I care about their opinions of me yet…they insist on communicating with me and the communicating is unwanted as I didn’t solicit it nor are these ladies my friends. Stalking can sometimes consist of an accumulation of a series of actions which in themselves can be legal, such as calling on the phone, sending gifts, unwanted emails, texts, twitter, Instagram or even comments on Facebook or on a BLOG. Hello, this reminds me of people who take the time to type a comment on something they don’t like to express how they don’t like it. Hey genius, how about ignoring it or not commenting at all since ya don’t like it?

There are all kinds of definitions out there that fit many of these women and their actions. Such as…"Stalking is a form of mental assault, in which the perpetrator repeatedly, unwantedly, and disruptively breaks into the life-world of the victim, with whom they have no relationship (or no longer have). Moreover, the separated acts that make up the intrusion cannot by themselves cause the mental abuse, but do taken together (cumulative effect).”

This one is one of my favorites that I found: Rejected stalkers pursue their victims in order to reverse, correct, or avenge a rejection (e.g. divorce, separation, termination). Hmmm, sound familiar? It does to me. Sounds like someone who can’t accept that a person moved on and is happy without them. They can’t handle the fact that this has happened so they create avenues to maintain contact with the individual instead of moving on…like a NORMAL person would.

In contrast, resentful stalkers demonstrate an almost "pure culture of persecution," with delusional disorders of the paranoid type, paranoid personalities, and paranoid schizophrenia. Like someone is always watching or following them. I’m in another state 10 hours away. I could care less what my ex does. My only concern is my visitation and that’s the only time I contact her. But of course you don’t know that because you never see the original message, only her responses.

Some research suggests there is a spectrum of what might be called "obsessed following behavior." People who complain obsessively and for years, about a perceived wrong or wrong-doer, when no one else can perceive the injury—and people who cannot or will not "let go" of a person or a place or an idea—comprise a wider group of persons that may be problematic in ways that seem similar to stalking. And this seems to fit my ex’s cult of followers. They don’t know me and the ones that do only know me based on what my ex has told them.

So there you have it…down and dirty. If you read this you need to do a self-evaluation and rethink why you are trying to engage me, a total stranger, on my blog, which you yourself have sought out (probably because Jennifer told you too)and commented on something(s) you know nothing about. In a very sad, sad attempt at trying to show me. What yall ladies really need to do is tell Jennifer and her scout Dianne to move on and stop concerning themselves with my life, my posts or anything else I do. What’s funny is none of you will and I’m hoping that you comment on this post below which will simply prove my point your stalking…or as the young kids say…YOU’RE CREEPING.

Happy Mother's Day MOM aka Janie Lee Dingle aka Jenna Lee

 It's Mother's day and I'd like to say Happy Mother's Day to my Mom. This is the woman that assisted in me becoming the man I am today. She is probably the sole reason I have a morale compass that works so very well. LOL. My Mom has always stressed that you should do right by yourself and in the eyes of God cause his evaluation of you…is all that truly matters. In this day and age of me, me, me that’s not an easy thing to do. Not because some of us don’t want to do it, but because our society doesn’t always lend itself for us to do the right thing in the face of adversity. So it’s not always easy to “Take the Road Less Traveled.”




 But my Mom has always been a shining example of this simple principle. When my first wife and I departed ways…my Mom continued to stay in touch with her, pray for her, help her out on occasion and wish her well. Even bought her kids the occasional birthday card and what not. All this after she broke her sons heart. Some may say why? My mother would simply say why not? My Mom doesn’t hold grudges nor does she hate anyone. Point in case my current ex-wife. While I was overseas she took it upon herself to call my mom (and have my kids call her too) telling her what a horrible Mom and Grandmother she was for raising a shit bag son like myself. When I called and talked to my Mom I could hear the hurt in her voice although she tried to hide it.



 As she explained what Jennifer said to her as well as what she had the kids say to her all I could think of was something my Mom had said to me quite awhile ago. So when she was finished…I threw those same words right back in her face and she got it…instantly! I could hear the joy and pride come back into her voice and she quickly got on board with what I said. Ok…I’m sure your wondering what I said. So I won’t leave you hanging so I’ll tell you just what I said.



 Anyone who KNOWS Janie Lee Dingle will tell you my Mom is an incredibly spiritual woman. At times I’d almost swear that my Mom, in times of need, has a direct link to God and when she asks…he always comes through for her. This has happened numerous times in my life so much that I have called her on behalf of other family and friends asking her to put in a word because someone was in trouble and or hurting. And it always gets answered. It’s scary and uncanny how accurate it is too. I don’t know anyone stronger. My Mom fully believes that there is good and evil, God and the Devil, etc, etc. And she believes that they both work through us in anyway they see fit. So throughout my life, my Mom was always saying things like “The Devil is alive and busy,” “Jesus is alive and working,” “The devil is a liar,” “Don’t worry…he’ll work it out” or “God sure works in mysterious ways.” These are just a few of the numerous lil quotes that she has stored away. So when I spoke to her I told her what she had told me in the past,



“Mom,” I said.


“Yes,” she replied. I could still hear a hint of hurt that she was trying to hide.


“Mom. You know what that is right?”


“No, what?”


“Mom…that ain’t nuttin but the Devil.” There was a brief pause and silence from my Mom after I said that. I know she was starting to think so I continued.


“Mom you know how you always say he’s always busy? Well think about it…who do I get all my strength from when I'm down and need some words of encouragement? You right?”




"Yes,” she said. I could hear her perking up.


“Well Mom, think about it. The Devil is having a hard time getting to me right now because you are giving me that support I need right?”


“Yeah.”


“Well if he can’t get to me directly he’s jus gonna go where he thinks he can get to me at. And that’s you. Think about it Mom. He knows you’re my support base, where I get all my strength and faith from. It makes sense to attack you if he can’t get to me.”


“Uh Huh….”


“So he’s using Jennifer to attack you, to make you turn on Jennifer and causing you to be upset which he knows will in turn upset me and possibly cause me to lash out at Jennifer. Causing more problems in which he knows how hard I’m trying to save things.”


“Uh huh…”


“So he lost this one Mom cause we can clearly see what he’s doing and it ain’t working. You taught me better than that.”




 As I continued to speak to my Mom I felt a wave of pride in my Mom's voice. The student had become the Master. All her talks and teachings had come to fruition and I was giving her what she had given me sooo many times when I needed it. I was proud of myself and I know she was too. And as we continued to talk and break it down I soon heard that joy and happiness that’s always present in my Moms voice when she’s talking about things, especially spiritual ones. And I can hear the pride in her voice as I used some of the very words she has used on me…told back to her. I could hear how proud she was of me. Like any parent when your child does something that reminds you that you did it right.



 So my Mom…is pretty awesome and I couldn’t have asked for a better one. She has never not been there for me as any mother should. She gave me life and she led me to the path of adulthood with kind words and deeds. My mother could always be counted on to "Do The Right Thing" whether it was popular or not. Sending cards and or gifts to those who didn't and don't deserve it. But see, that's my Mom and that's what makes her so very special. So with that being said, I just wanted all of y’all out there to know just who my Mom is and how special she is to me and numerous other lives that she’s touched. Love you MOM and Happy Mother's Day; God bless you and give you many more.

I Understand

"Sometimes we need to take a seat away from the table so that we can see it. Its not about knowing you have a place at the table but understanding your place at the table."


It's early Saturday morning as oppossed to late Saturday morning. Laying in bed...thinking, because thats what I do early on a Saturday morning. I spend alot of time thinking and contemplating my actions and the actions of others. Only...in respect to my life.


 I do this because it helps me understand and allows me to move forward. See for me understanding is probably the most important thing a person can do. We spend alot of time with many of our thoughts and behaviors which we in turn act on. And for most when we act we tend to not have all the information needed to turn our thoughts into the correct action. And if said action fails, whose fault is it anyway?

 So when you think about it taking time to understand can save you time and or heartache. But the reason many dont take the time to do this is becuase understanding is a tough thing to do. It requires, time, patience and of course desire. You have to desire to know and have that missing information so you can make the correct action. See, when seeking understanding you have to be open and accepting of outcomes and answers that you might not like. Which for some is why they dont try to understand. Its like it requires you to give up a small piece of yourself and leaves you wide open. For some I think this makes them feel vulnerable thus they dont bother. We are accustomed to getting things now and how we like it. Just like fast food. But understanding doesnt come quick and easy. You maybe required to do some reading and research which could take weeks. Weeks you maybe unwilling to give.

 And fear....I think fear plays a role in this too. We can sometimes be afraid of the answers or where understanding may take us. I really believe it causes you to take the time to do self evaluations and assements of you as well as your character. And...maybe make some corrections every now and again. But you know babysitters...thats what life is all about; growing, becoming wiser, smarter and more well rounded as a person and conversationalist.

 So...today babysitters, I challenge you to practice some understanding when dealing with whatever life throws your way today. No jumping to conclusions, no half cocked ideas and no putting your foot in your mouth. Take some time to let that or those thoughts and or actions marinate around for awhile. Look at the totality of the situation you find yourself in and then think it through. Im willing to bet you will come out on the other side in a much better and heathier place and state than which you entered. "Wisdom...the application of knowledge." One of my favorite quotes because knowledge comes from understanding. And with that...Im gonna say enjoy this beautiful Saturday.