My Dad

Today is my father’s birthday. In the past he would get tons of cheap cologne or some other item he probably didn’t need from me and my sister. Years have passed and I along with my sister are adults and we usually don’t get him things he doesn’t need. Not only is he my father but now he’s blessed with being a Grandfather to not only my children, but my new wife’s as well. As a young man, my father and I at times didn’t see eye to eye on a few subjects. There was even a time period when I felt he over stepped his bounds and I stopped speaking to him for close to 6 months. I guess that attitude he could only blame on himself as that will is where I got it from. LOL. My father wasn’t always there when I felt he should have been but he was there when I needed him to be there. You know what I’m saying? I recall calling him when I was stationed at Carson to tell him my motorcycle had been stolen. I was clearly upset and crying. It wasn’t bad enough I had waited 3 years to be able to buy it but I had allowed the insurance to run out as it was winter and I couldn’t ride it. So as I spoke to my Dad and told him what happened I just knew what he was gonna say in response. He would make me feel even worse than I did already and I honestly had no desire to hear it. That never happened. As we talked I could hear a softness in his voice I hadn’t heard before.

“You got insurance don’t you?”, he asked.

“No Dad, I let it run out since I can’t ride it,” I explained.

“Ok,” he said. “How much do you still owe on it?”

“About 1200,” I sobbed back. And then I thought, here is comes, he’s gonna make this even worse.

“Well, you know you’re responsible for that loan,” he stated.

“Yes”

“Well then that’s your responsibility and you know you have to pay that off.”

“Yes.”

“Ok, well, once it’s paid off…you can simply get you another bike,” he said.

“Ok, but that was my bike Dad!,” as I continued to sob. “I waited so long for it.”

“I know…it’ll be ok. You will get another one.”

Those were the final words of the conversation as we got off the phone. My Dad didn’t make me feel worse…he made me feel better. For the first time in my life that I can remember, my Dad told me what I wanted to hear, not what I needed to hear. And to this day when I think back to that conversation…I get choked up and a lil emotional. What I want you all to understand my father was very tough on me; tough to the point that I hated him at times. And I couldn’t tell you how many times I felt he hurt my feelings and I was upset with him. Parents don’t owe we children and explanation for anything they do and that’s a fact. But as I grew older and eventually left home I started to understand why my father conducted business in the manner in which he did. Tough, fair and sometimes unfair in my eyes but they were all lessons that would eventually shape me into the man I have become today.

When I bought the aforementioned bike I recall my father pulling into the driveway and me looking at him. He had told me if I was man enough to buy it, I was man enough to get out. (My mom had told me I wasn’t going anywhere and to get the bike. LOL) So as he looked at me he made a comment and I replied. Needless to say I didn’t leave and we rode bikes together on numerous occasions. I’m sure he was proud, just never said anything to me about it.

I recall him cutting the TV off to play his records and or cassette tapes. And yeah…I had no choice but to listen or go to bed. But today, many of my fondest memories are centered around classic R&B tunes that take me back to my childhood. Especially James Brown Christmas tunes. And I listen to alot of the old R&B he used to play. My father spent a great deal of his life in service to his country and has never made excuses or blamed anyone for the path he chose. And I admire him for that and he has lived his life on his terms and you got to respect that. I used to say I never wanted to be like my Dad. Something I’m sure many a young man has claimed at some point in their youth. Truth be told, I’m not like my father…he made me BETTER! Better than him all the while I had no idea what was happening. I am and will always be very proud of my Dad and as I have grown older we have grown closer. Anything my Dad has done for me I think back on and smile.

 I recall my father making me a kite for a school project and I was so proud. It looked just like on TV. Save one problem, that damn kite would not fly…at all. LOL. I was so disappointed that I couldn’t get it off the ground. But my Dad made that kite for me…it was special and I will never forget that.

What I want you all to get is that my father wasn’t always there when I felt he should be, but my father was always there. He was always in my life. Whether he was being too rough with me and I’d cry or playing Santa Claus and getting me all the gifts I’d asked for. (It wasn’t until I was grown and in the Army that I realized why my Dad always seemed to have CQ on Christmas Eve.) Sometimes he was corny and sometimes he was cool. But my Dad was my dad and not a day goes by I’m not thankful for all he has done and shown me the past 44 years. So today is his day and I want him to know I love and respect  him as much as any son could love their Dad. Enjoy your day Dad and Happy Birthday.