12FEB12
Change was the center of my last discussion. But change has to be warranted and has to be a conscience choice. I have made numerous choices and I will live with each and everyone. Way in November of last year I was supposed to have my children for the Thanksgiving holiday. As per court order my ex spouse, Jennifer (Specht) Dingle (yes, why she still carries the name of her “abuser” is beyond me) and I are to co-parent and provide 50% of travel for all visitations. So I did what I was court ordered to do; I contacted her and tried to coordinate for my visitation. Well as per the standard, facebook found out before I did. Jennifer went all over facebook telling all her friends how she refused to comply.
Oct 28 2:29pm
Jennifer Specht ~~So now my ex is 'planning' Thanksgiving~And I have no money for gas to 'meet' the Creep~Let his stupid Girlfriend pay for it! She pays for everything else to get to see his Man Boobs~Ughhh~He's soooo GROSS!~~
Jennifer Specht ~~Ok-it's decided. If he wants his kids for Thanksgiving? He will have to do the transportation. See, 'cause I have some news for Judge M. Brent Hall-ummm-because you ALLOWED my ex Idiot to BANKRUPT us? I, simply put, DON'T have the money to drive 8 hours in 4 days so Mr. Deployed can play 'house'~Give me a BREAK!~Take THAT to Court!~
For the first time someone actually tried to reason with her and try to get her to do the right thing. But in true fashion…the words given to her fell on deaf ears.
Veronica Castilla Just to give you a bit of a heads up, regardless of your financial situation, if he is supposed to have the children for Thanksgiving and it is in the court papers you are legally obligated to the halfway or to pick them up from him. I am divorced, as well as my husband, and I have to meet my ex at a halfway point. His exwife has tried to say she can't afford it one year and we took her to court. May just be a slap on the wrist at first though. Seeing how you and him have obviously been in court repeatedly it might be harsher. Make sure you cover your bases so this doesn't fall back on you.
Jennifer Specht Ummm-I have been dragged into court 22 times in 24 months. My ex at one point motioned me to Court trying to get me Court Ordered into co-signing a loan! For real! And? I've lost 2 jobs he dragged me into Court so many times. And? I am not saying this to be vindictive-I literally don't have the money-I'm still REELING from all his motions. Girl! It took me 3 months to get Child Support and? When he gave it to me? Motioned the Court for it BACK! So-I LITERALLY don't have the money. So-if he wants to spend $500.00 taking me back? Money that could be spent on Plane tickets? Or I don't know? Christmas gifts. Shit I have no other option. I have no family and I'm single. Short of robbing a bank? There is no money. Damn-and I wish it weren't so! Lol
Well there isn’t a need to continue; the rest of the conversation was pretty much the same. Jennifer rationalizing why she didn’t need to comply and her friend simply saying cover your ass and do the right thing. The end result was that my kids didn’t come down for Thanksgiving. In a previous post I spoke of the arrogance of my ex in giving me options for seeing my kids after the courts, whom gave her primary custodianship, dictated just how visitation would work. It’s one thing if both parties agree and modify the agreement. Cool…but this isn’t the case. So she did what she always does, she took it upon herself to modify it by offering me what she felt would be a reasonable visitation. She told me I could have Spring break in exchange for not having them for Thanksgiving.
I have spent the better part of two years trying to be reasonable and work with her. So in keeping with tradition I wrote her at the end of December, a friendly reminder that she had made an offer which I was going to hold her to. I would do this far in advance so she had time to save gas money since that was her rational for not honoring the agreement for Thanksgiving. Well that didn’t go so well. The end result was I told her I’d write one email a month trying to coordinate for Spring Break:
Jennifer,
Hope this e-mail finds you well. As I made clear, one email and one email only; I stand corrected, as per rule 702 (If the parties DO NOT LIVE IN THE PROXIMITY identified in HFCR 701 above, the following parenting time schedule shall apply in the absence of a written agreement signed by both parties, except for good cause being shown) not 701 I am to have the children for thanksgiving in the odd years, you did not support the court order thus the children did not come visit with me for thanksgiving. 50% of travel (IT’S IN THE COURT ORDER) was your responsibility and your claim of “no gas money” was your reasoning for not complying. You then gave me 3 alternatives to choose from. One which you told me that I could have spring break. You said, and I quote: “I have some suggestions for a compromise; …… 3) Have the kids for Spring Break which at that time I will be better off Financially and it's for a longer visit at a great time of year. I am trying to find a solution and be fair but, again, visitation is going to have to require some type of cooperative modification at times due to the distance. Next year you will be even further so I feel we will have to work together to work things out at times so the kids get to see you and they don't worry. Let me know how you would like to handle this.”
The dates of Spring break are 9-13 April. The kids will be out of school Friday the 6th. I'd really like us to link up at our designated halfway mark around 1200 on the 7th of April which is a Saturday (Exit 158 off of I-24 south in Tennessee is the halfway point, 250 miles for both of us. Just off that exit to the west is a huge fireworks store with a huge parking lot where we can meet. It has easy access for going north and south so it won’t be an issue for you heading back home.). I will in turn then meet with you on the 15th for drop off at 1200. I have not been able to see our children since October’s fall break and I don't think getting them that Saturday is too much to ask for. Its three months away and you have plenty of time to plan as well as put a little money (approx $100.00 total in gas for the two trips) away to pay for the gas it will cost for travel. I’d appreciate a response acknowledging that I can have Spring break as you offered me, you providing 50% of travel and that the pick-up and drop off dates are good.
In a previous e-mail you made reference to Christmas and that I did not exercise my parenting time. You are incorrect. Since we do not reside in the same area we are to use rule 702 at a minimum (modifying it if WE BOTH CHOOSE TOO i.e. AGREE) B. Holidays: 3. Christmas: In odd-numbered years, the custodial or primary possessory parent has the child/children for Christmas Holiday period. In even-numbered years, the non-custodial/ non-possessory parent has the child/children for the Christmas Holiday period beginning at 6pm on the day school ends until 6pm on the day before school begins. So as you can see, I did not have parenting time as you claimed.
Out of respect I will address a few of your comments based on the three separate emails you returned, none which gave me a clear and concise yes or no about Spring break. Again you addressed the issue of gas. I am court ordered to pay child support in the amount of $1391.11. If you were to take me to court, I’m sure the Judge would not care that I was having financial difficulty, I would be ordered to pay…period or be in contempt of court. So…your point of no gas money is moot. You found money for a lawyer, cigarettes, cable you can find money for gas. How about you stop smoking or get rid of cable? I don’t know what you should do but I do know this…it’s your responsibility and the courts don’t care. They only care that you follow their guidelines for visitation.
Yes, Spring break is three months away. I’m writing in advance because you have stated you are having financial difficulty. I am trying to be understanding of that and by discussing it NOW; it gives you 3 months to SAVE the money. I am writing you about our children and visitation so it is not harassment as you have claimed.
Second e-mail; I did not GIVE you the kids for Thanksgiving, you made it clear on FB and in emails you were not going to provide 50% of travel so I didn’t see the kids. Christmas is clear: B. Holidays: 3. Christmas: In odd-numbered years, the custodial or primary possessory parent has the child/children for Christmas Holiday period. In even-numbered years, the non-custodial/ non-possessory parent has the child/children for the Christmas Holiday period beginning at 6pm on the day school ends until 6pm on the day before school begins.
And your third e-mail; I will not ASSUME anything. You will have to give me a YES or NO I can have them for Spring Break as well as acknowledgement of the drop off and pick-up dates. If we followed the Holiday rule, it would be 6pm when their spring break begins until 6pm the day before they return to school. If the school board changes things, you are the custodial parent and will know any changes before I do and in the SPIRIT of cooperation you should send me an e-mail or phone call giving me an update and time to coordinate any changes that way we BOTH aren't inconvenienced. I look forward to hearing from you and coordinating my visit. Have a great day...God bless.
And her response you ask. Very typical:
Cease and desist your harassment. I cannot and won't read this Dribble. I have tired of your threats. Your communication is unwanted and unwarranted. It's stalking. And? One day-you will be stopped. In the meantime? Go Fuck yourself.
Man…are you kidding me? I ask to see my children as per the court order and that’s what I’m met with. It’s hard to even call and talk to them because she will hover over them and grill them about our talk like a cop. She has me blocked on her phone so I’m unable to call and talk to her about any issues that arise with our kids. Her accusations are always the same, I’m abusive and I’m a harasser. I didn’t know contacting about visitation was deemed harassment. She once again called the IG here at Benning claiming was harassing her. I wonder just how much those who support her truly know about what has actually happened and goes on. I will say this to the support group, if I’m all that she says I am…where is the proof of all this? But it doesn’t matter…I just hope they continue to support her when this potentially blows up in her face
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