Monday, December 13, 2010

My Divorce Nightmare part 3

Once the cross commenced, it got ugly really fast. JSD41 testified and made several statements all basically saying one thing, it took her two hours to call the police because I kept calling tying up her phone. Well first thing that was asked was why she didn’t call the police on the HOUSE phone. She had no answer. She also said the attack took place two hours prior to the police being called to the house. That puts it at 10:36pm. Well there was a huge time line issue with this that we never had to address. This was also touched on by one of her girlfriends, The Blonde who testified that I called her and told her I had been to the house and was sitting around the corner bragging about attacking her. Well what neither I nor my lawyer ever had to bring up was where I actually was at. This is the first anyone knows of this. Like I had mentioned previously, I was in NJ for a few days. I was on the phone with Staci and before I knew it I was through Lexington traveling west when the fuel low light came on. I had no idea how long it had been on. I was in a panic and just outside of Bardstown. I was growing worried since I saw no exits. I got off the highway and franticly drove until I finally found an open gas station…it was 10:33pm when I swiped my debit card. We had the bank statement showing the transaction. It was physically impossible. Bardstown is roughly 45minutes away.


The witnesses were up. The Blonde was first and she claimed I called her from around the corner to brag about how I had attacked JSD41. Next was a mutual friend of ours the secretary. This was the same woman who took me and my kids in when JSD41 got drunk one night and attacked me. That incident was a major blow to our marriage. It along with JSD41 failing out of nursing school, add the drinking created the foundation which I found myself standing on. She ended it by saying JSD41 feared me and that I might get physical. I was like wow, I can’t believe she said that after all the times she witnessed and had spoken about JSD41s drinking.

Last to the stand was the girlfriend’s mom. Why was the athlete’s former girlfriend’s mom testifying? I barely knew them as they barely knew me. She got on the stand and began to cry. She herself had no idea what was going on or why she was here. My lawyer didn’t cross any of them. Next were my sons. We were asked to leave the courtroom and they called both spoke about what they knew. Once back in court my lawyer said they did fine and were very forth right. She told me between mine, my son’s, the EPO that had copies of the arresting police report and the officer’s testimony, we were good.

My lawyer leaned over and asked would I be inclined to allow JSD41 to become the primary custodian? I said sure. She called me back to the stand and asked me it in open court. I explained I had no desire to keep JSD41 away from our children. I just felt that based on her actions she was potentially unfit at this time. If she went to counseling, got help for her drinking and focused on her own personal well being, I’d be more than happy to revisit custody.

In closing the judge spoke directly to JSD41. He had some very frank and choice words especially about her B.A.C. She had claimed that it was a one time thing, she was also taking medication the tests weren’t truly accurate I mean an ass load of excuses. He told her that he himself liked to have a drink or two…but there is no way a woman, 5’-7” approx 150lbs could have a B.A.C. of .315 and still be functioning unless she had built a tolerance to drinking. He ordered standard alcohol assessments and the sort. At that time I was given emergency temporary custody of all the children for 90 days or once we entered into mediation or divorce settlement. We were also told we had to attend mandatory parenting classes for divorcing parents and our three youngest had to attend a class targeted at them. As I got up I spoke with my lawyer and we both agreed it was best to leave and not talk about this with my kids. I told her I would get them back in school and once home this evening we would sit down and talk about what’s going on. I was out side the courtroom talking to my kids and explaining they were going to school and what not when JSD41 came bursting out.

“That’s right! He lied and they believed him! Yep the liars got you for the next 90 days!! Way too go you loser!! I shook my head and told my kids they could ride with mom and I’d see them later. I got to my car when the blonde called me. She said the kids were crying and upset and if I minded them not going to school to spend sometime with their mom. I said no problem and I would be home when they brought the kids by. That was exactly why I didn’t want our kids to know what took place in the courtroom.

Hours later when my kids got home they were all clearly upset and naturally blaming me. I was met by the very angry athlete who verbalized his displeasure with me. I told him he didn’t understand and that one day he would. This was the start of what would become a war between me and JSD41 with our children stuck dead in the middle.

I understood that they had no business in the middle and I would spend a great deal of time and effort doing my best to keep them out the middle. But I was fighting a loosing battle. JSD41 decided to call my mom in South Carolina as well as her’s in Canada expressing how I lied, took the kids as well as having a girlfriend. They really had no reaction other than you wanted out so just let it go.


The evening after court I was talking to the cheerleader and the athlete came up stairs. As we talked it soon got heated as I explained some things she refused to except or acknowledge. The Athlete came back upstairs and told me I better not yell at his sister. I was like, “Who are you talking to?” “I’m talking to you and you heard me! You better stop yelling at my sister!” he barked. “Ok, I’m the parent so I think you need to know your role.” By this time he had gotten in my face like we were in high school. I moved him out of my and went to get the phone to call the police. That later turned into I “shoved” him aside. But I had said I would do it and I had to establish a boundary with him. Once the officers arrived I explained the situation and asked how was I too handle him, I can’t put my hands on him nor throw him out. They gave me a phone number to call for a agency that deals with teens. He had already called a good friend who was on his way to pick him up and he’d stay with this family for at least a week.

The next night I had to lock his window again because the cheerleader had unlocked it so that he could sneak in and get some cloths.

The Catcher said he was having pain in one of his testicals and I took him to the ER. When his mother called later it started hurting again. I talked to him and he was cool. Next thing I know there is a knock at my front door, JSD41 had called the police and had an officer come to our home because I said I wasn’t going to take him back to the ER . He was in the bed when the police officer came and I went outside on my veranda to explain the whole situation and he told me he was briefed before coming to my home. He spoke with the catcher and later left. This was getting out of control. Even though she was no longer in our home and wanted out of the marriage she was still trying to control me.

By this time I was off my vacation and signed into my unit. Nothing like getting a new job and the first thing you have to discuss is a divorce that has begun to get very messy. I continued to work and run the boys around. All three were playing baseball so our evenings were pretty busy. The catcher and lil man both played in the same complex while the athlete playing HS ball was in another location. He was still out of the home and by this time he was staying with his mom. I called JSD41 on occasion to inform her of the games since I didn’t want them not to have their mom present. On occasion she’d give them rides home to spend a lil more time since she was “homeless” as she told any and all who’d listen.

I texted JSD41 to let her know about the boys games as well as to see if she was planning on taking them for the weekend. She informed me that since she was “homeless” she couldn’t take them. She got to the ball fields to watch the boy’s games. I let her know that I didn’t mind if she wanted to spend some time with the boys after the game to get ice cream or something. Her response was “A” typical, numerous smart arse remarks. She eventually took them to McDonalds and Food Lion. She dropped the boys off at the house and asked if she could quickly pick up a few things. I said sure, no problem. The quick turned into not so quick. After about 10 minutes she started in on me with her comments and other rude statements. I have a girlfriend, I abused her, I beat her up, and the community knows how I am a monster because I took the kids from her. I made it very clear that I took nothing and it was the courts decision. She claimed the courts and judge here were crooked and biased and that I lied and it would eventually catch up with me. Later that evening the athlete came to get some more of his things. I told him I loved him and he was welcome here as long as he could follow the rules and be respectful. He cursed at me and let me know that he didn’t want to. That was easy.

A few days later we got home after practice and JSD41 was in the house with the athlete. I did not start but I let her know that I didn’t think she should be in here without my permission and or me present. She made a few comments like I have a right to be here and when I said the court said you can’t (surrounded by the kids at this time) she says, “what are you gonna do, have me arrested again.” I stood there and shook my head. All I could think of was my kids and how they didn’t deserve any of this…none of us did JSD41 included.

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