A Good Life

As I drove home from my weekend in Atlanta with some old college and high school buddies I had plenty of time to do a lil self-reflection during said drive. I wished more of our old crew could have been there but it was good to see those that could make it. As I drove I realized just how hard I have worked to get where I am today as well as how God has blessed me and assisted me over those years. I have a lot to be grateful for and not a day goes by that I’m not. I got to see some people this past weekend that I haven’t seen since the mid 90’s and I’m proud of them and what they all have accomplished since then. I wondered how in the hell did all of us get here when so many others do not and or blame the system for their misfortune. I mean none of us were rich; none of us had it made. All of us had to make hard decisions about our lives and then execute based on what we thought was gonna help us to be successful. And in doing so here we all were…successful in our own right. It made me think back to other friends and how they must be doing and if they saw their lives and being successful or rich as I was.  Many times we focus on what we don’t have vs what we do have or what’s right in front of us.

I did something this past weekend which started out as a small joke but turned into a brief lesson and a new found appreciation for some work that some do that’s not all too easy. One of the young girls that works with my wife allowed me to take care of her “roots.” Now she’s pretty tough but even braver for allowing me to do this. As we got the bleach ready smiles and a few jokes started flying about what was gonna happen. But soon I was on my way to tackling her roots and I received plenty of tips and feedback about what I was doing and needed to do. Everyone was supportive and helpful in their own comedic way. I think they got a kick out of it because I was attempting to do something well within their wheel houses and I’m sure they would love for some of their clients to take a stroll in their shoes (as I was doing) some days when they are being demanding and bitchy.  About mid-way through I was like, “shit…they make this look way too easy.”  I have watched my wife and many of her co-workers do this countless times but I really had no idea how hard it was. Smooth is fast and fast is smooth is something we say in the military when we discuss weapons training and movement but this methodology can be used when doing hair if you didn’t know. And I was neither being smooth nor fast. And when it was all said and done I was a lil tired and I realized just how much they all work five days a week. I didn’t say anything at the time but I was given a small taste of what they do and it was enough to be humbled. So the next time you get your haircut, foiled, colored, roots thank them because it’s not easy…not easy at all.

Five years ago today I was in Korea and preparing to come home and walking into a divorce. At the time I thought my world was ending and that the plans that were created had to now be scrapped. I literally had no idea what I was gonna do, live or how I was gonna survive. One thing I did have was faith that God was gonna be there and that the road ahead was not gonna be smooth. It was not smooth nor was it bumpy. One could easily say there wasn’t a road and I had no choice but to create one which is no easy task. Fast forward five years later and here I sit with a cup of coffee and a smile on my face. I’m married to a beautiful woman, ALL my kids are doing well in school and in personal ventures, and I have great friends (near and far) and a very loving and supportive family. Something you surely need when times get tough. There were tons of others that helped me through this time lending me an ear or other things when it was called for it which allowed me to grow and find the mindset I needed to move forward and be successful. One such person has since passed on but her impact on me is ever lasting and she will never be forgotten…never.

As I made that drive up from Atlanta and continued on with my reflections I read a message from a friend of mine who has decided to retire. I was contacted by this old friend and he was telling me his story and the decisions that were made that will surely enhance his future. As I sat and listened to him talk I was reminded that you are never as unique as you may think in regards to certain problems you may face. As I listened to my man’s frank and honest story I was proud of him and that he felt he could talk to me in the manner in which he did. No shame, no guilt…just telling it like it is. There are a few of my friends that I can always count on to do this.

One such individual has moved me so much over the years that Thursday night I saw a car broken down on the side of the road and I heard his words in my mind so I stopped and decided to help. Turns out it was a young woman and she had run out of gas just shy of her exit. She had called her mom just prior to me stopping. I had my uniform on so that probably made her a lil bit more comfortable. We talked, and I drove her to get gas, back to her car and waited to make sure it started and she was on her way. She asked what I owed her I said nothing. I have a wife and daughters…and if they ever broke down, I’d hope someone would stop and help them as I just did. She thanked me again and drove off. I smiled and said, yeah “Blackman” would be giving me a high five right now. I laughed and was back on the road.

A few weeks before that I heard from another friend of mine and he just wanted to say how my relationship with my wife has motivated him and his fiancée. We haven’t talked since our days at Polk but it was like old times as we chatted up. His daughters play ball and I enjoy his posts about them and their activities. I’m so proud of him because as a single father many have gotten a bad rap and the negative usual outweighs the good. I had no idea my bit-strip cartoon, photos, and jokes with my wife did anything other than make me smile and think I’m funnier than I probably am. But as we talked he told me that they too are currently doing things long distance and that if I have made it work than he knows they could do it too. I was flattered by his words because I never saw me as doing anything other than being a cornball at times.

I was talking to a buddy a few weeks before my Atlanta trip and asked him how is it we have gotten here and we really didn’t have any “special” resources that one could say gave us a leg up. As we talked at one point he said, “Ding, we kinda all followed you.” Followed me? What the hell. He then went on to explain and when he was done, I understood where he was coming. I’d never looked at it that way. I left college and joined the Army for my own reasons and I never once thought it would affect others. It was humbling to listen to someone I had looked up to talk about me. So you never know how your actions, small or large, affect someone else and their life. I used to always say I wished I had a group of friends like you’ve seen in movies like “The Wood”, “The Best Man” and a few others. Low and behold, I had that all the time; I simply wasn’t always in a position to spend time with them. So here I sit blessed with good fortune and good friends.

I’m grateful all God has given me and those I love and choose to call friend. Because you know what…I have a pretty good life not matter how you look at it and I’m rich with things not many have…a good life.