Thursday, March 29, 2012

Nothing is as easy as it seems...following the rules that is

 Well, it’s about that time...yet again. Since December I have been trying to coordinate for a Spring Break visit with my kids. I had them for fall break but am supposed to have one or the other. It was my year for Thanksgiving and we all know how that turned out. So, my former spouse very graciously offered me Spring Break since she was “unable” to follow the visitation rule. So I, understanding her finances, attempted to coordinate well in advance (starting in December) so that she could sock some gas money away every month so come April, there would be no excuses to not meet. Well I tried with one email every month until I got her response from my February email. A response in which she told me I needed to have sexual intercourse with myself. Hmmm, not exactly sure how I’m supposed to do that but oh well. At that point I didn’t see the point in trying anymore and I decided not to email her for March and instead go another route.

 I have grown tired of having to spend money and go to court just to ensure my rights as a parent are respected and honored. It’s a shame when one adult, whom has the children in their possession, acts in a manner in which it jeopardizes the other parent’s relationship with said children.  Now I’m sure there are parents out there that truly deserve not to have contact with their children. But there are just as many who deserve that right but are forced to jump through hoops just to get what a court of law guaranteed they could have.

 Visitation is a simple request and one which should be honored without any hassle.  I know some parents who pretty much don’t have an issue with not seeing their children and live their lives just fine. Well that’s great for them but some of us see the big picture and understand that children are supposed to have two loving and caring parents for a reason (Look at the shooting that took place in Florida).  I don’t have to care for you nor talk to you as a person. on a personal level but when it comes to the welfare of our children that’s when all games should be placed aside and we work together for the benefit of our children and their future. Far too many children that come from single parent homes fall off the track and end up in bad situations (Again look at what happened in Florida). Whether it’s school or drugs…the only people that suffer from lack of parental guidance is the child. God designed it this way from a reason. A woman can’t show a young boy how to be a man and a man can’t show a young girl how to be a woman. These behaviors are learned and reinforced by we parents. It’s our job! And it’s truly the only job which counts.

 Now, I’m not saying that a single parent can’t raise a child. There is always gonna be the exception to the rule. But what I am saying is if the two adults can work together for the benefit of their child or children…then they should. And if they can’t, then grow a pair, man the hell up and do it! Parents shouldn’t grill their children to gain information nor should they put them in positions where they know so much they feel they need to contact the other parent with what they feel should or shouldn’t happen. And 9 out of 10 times, what they want usually mirrors what the parent they live with wants.  So then you end up battling more than one person and a childs worldly knowledge is limited and they act as if they know yet they have no real world experiance to base this on.

 So if you are a single parent I implore you to seek the higher ground and do what’s best for your children. Do not keep them from the other parent because you two decided that your lives were best lived apart. This wasn’t your children’s fault nor their concern. Do the right thing and foster a positive relationship. No one is telling you need to hang out with your former spouse or lover. But think about that child and do right by them. Allow them to make the decision about the other parent. If they are wrong…trust me…when they become adults they will see what’s up and figure things out just fine. The world has a way of righting itself if allowed. And remember, you entered into a contract with GOD almighty when he agreed to let you have said children.  And if you break that contract with him…you can bet your gonna hear about it. It’s short… “Do The Right Thing, Do The Right Thing,…Do The Right Thing.”

“How you treat people is their karma; how you react is yours.”         -Wayne Dyer

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