8AUG11
A few mornings ago I was listening to The Steve Harvey Show and he was talking about your “gift” or as I grew up calling it, your “God given talent.” He spoke about it and how some folks struggle until they realize that gift and then proceed to nourish it and allow it to grow and touch others lives. Whether it’s running, talking or cutting hair…we all have a gift and we all should use it. And if that gift allows us to touch other’s lives then we should surely use it; because if we don’t, it’s a shame and a waste. I loved to draw growing up but that gift wasn’t nourished. I always felt it was my gift and that I had somehow wasted it; but as I grew older I found less and less time to draw, but behold, I discovered or shall I say rediscovered my love of writing. I now wonder if writing is my actual gift. My former therapist told me how I had aided them at a tough time in their life. I was truly shocked and dumb founded. I struggling to deal with my own crap…how is it that I’m helping them through theirs?
A while ago a friend asked me why do I write and I explained. I explained that it wasn’t so much to tell my side of a story but more of a story about choices. We can all choose to do whatever it is we wish. But there are times we have to make some very tough choices and many are very unpopular. Ever heard someone say, “Monkey see…monkey do?” We see someone else doing something and we follow suit. So maybe someone will read how I have conducted myself and inspire them to do what’s perceived as right…even though it too may be unpopular. This past weekend I went to church and part of the message was that things aren’t always about you. Sometimes we are tasked with doing things for some other persons benefit. As I sat there listening…I thought to myself, “How many times have people written me and asked me how I was doing or how I managed to stay where I am amongst all the chaos and craziness?” My response was usually I don’t really know. But writing and talking to people would be my best guest. We all deal with issues differently but I think that sharing not only helps you but helps another too; we just aren’t always privy to that information nor do we always get to know who it is we may be helping. I mean you never know what someone else is going through unless they choose to tell you and they don’t always do that.
A friend of mine recently suffered a loss in the family and we have chatted several times since I was told the news. I do my best to listen and allow them to vent and get things of their chest because I kinda understand where they are coming from. They are angry and other times they simply what to know why. Why it happened and how come know one new anything. I answered the best way I can…I say we don’t always get to know the whys, we just have to accept what’s happened and move forward the best way we know how. To me…keeping things bottled in isn’t always the best course of action. I’m a firm believer in therapy and or old school venting. But to vent you truly need a non-judgmental friend. Someone that will truly allow you to get things off your chest and you not feel like you’re being judged or looked down upon because they see you at a perceived time of weakness.
For over a year I have written about my life and things that have taken place in it. I guess it goes back to the message this past Sunday. I believe that if one person can read something I have written and understand that they aren’t alone and that we all have things to deal with. I know there were times I felt no one could possible understand what I was doing, what I was dealing with and how it all made me feel. But low and behold…the more different and diverse people I spoke too, the more I realized that my situation wasn’t so special and that lots of folks were dealing with the same sorta things I was. I have been told that I inspired some to be a better person or to maybe forgive someone that did them wrong. That wasn’t my goal nor intention yet it happened anyway. My life experiences touched someone else’s…good or bad.
Drawing, writing, listening and talking are forms of communication; forms that touch different people differently. So maybe my gift is about communication and using it to help others. I don’t really know but I think it’s time I find out.
