So my kids are all home and safe. I even got to meet my middle son's girlfriend. Hehehe, cute girl. Guess we know where he gets his taste in women from. Anyhoo, two of the three were here for spring break. Mac and the girls went to Florida for a few days and me and Jeff got some quality father son time.
After being told she could leave her Mom's house and then maintaining perfect attendance and going to work, her Mom called the Sheriff's office citing she was a "runaway" and naturally the police came to school and scared her half to death needlessly (we all know why she called after Moo was out for close to 3 months. Can you say child support??). I don't blame them as their moral compass probably thought what they said to her was best and may "scare her straight" however...sometimes we should just do our jobs and be quiet. You see, the police don't know the whole story nor did they really care about Moo's side or how she felt. Or, that she was in school every single day as well as still going to work. runaways usually "run" away. The also weren't there to lend advice to my daughter Thursday night when her Mom not only took her favorite bag but all others and locked them up in her car so Moo couldn't pack for her spring break with me and Kerry. Jennifer didn't count on me bringing a big suitcase though. Forewarned is forearmed in my world.
So, I know what my kids have been going through since 2009 and I have been in a position to do pretty much nothing since I have limited time with them. I know all too well how easy one can be on the receiving end of a Jennifer drunken verbal assault. So when my kids are with me, the time I spend focuses on being in a "normal" environment. One where my kids aren't placed in the role of caregiver and taking care of their Mom. Reinforcing good beliefs which I feel will help them mature and grow into responsible adults. Its not without its challenges but it can be done. Which is why when Moo wasn't living there I gave her a portion of the child support. yeah, I figured I'd have to give it back to their mom as that's truly all she cares about. The money she gets for them. In an email she sent me on March 31st shes said: "It is my JOB as a parent to not allow her to 'run away' from life. But, you are humbled. You are a JOKE. You supported her teenage angst because it was an excuse to not pay for your kids. In violation of a Court Order. Had you been smart? You would have given Christina's parents her portion of support because it is YOUR responsibility to pay for your child. Had you not taken it from me? While I let her have breathing room and some space? You better bet they would have been given money as I will always support my children." Wait, isn't that what I did? I spoke to the parents and they didn't want anything they just wanted to help. So, I gave it to Moo since she wasn't living at home. Yet when she went to court, she sure made sure the judge knew I didn't give her the money. All of $600.00. So the judge said since I had no OFFICIAL motion in place I had to return the money. If it was truly about Moo, Jennifer would have told the judge what she told me in the email. Nope, cause her kids have become a pay check for her. $300 of that was put towards a prom dress, graduation announcements, pictures, etc. All the things Jennifer should be doing for Moo but is clearly not. Yet to her friends, she's this great Mom. I don't regret giving Moo and I told her that. The money is child support and her Mom wasn't supporting her for close to 3 months. (Moo was literally 2 miles down the road yet Jennifer never called nor came and checked on her. I was in town for less than 5 hours yet I manged to do this.)
I spoke to my kids at Xmas about somethings and then while Moo and Jeff were here I added some stuff I've never told them. I told them that they weren't supposed to be here. I told them that based on the statistics of divorced children, especially when one parent is controlling and alienates they should all be pretty screwed up. I told them that they have proven the experts wrong and that they should be very very proud of themselves for the place they find themselves in today because they could have easily taken a wrong turn and I sure am proud of them as well as what they have managed to endure.
Moo will graduate and will head to off to college. She will do so under her own power as we bought her a car this past week. I was shocked as she did something I've never seen her do. She used a realistic approach and not one of fantasy which had been drilled into them at a young age (i.e. Jennifer telling Alex how she would buy him a Mustang when she became a nurse). Me and Jeff spent two days scrubbing and cleaning and wiping. The end result was the car looked pretty good once we were done. She was excited and she drove it all the way home by herself. (And for all you Moms freaking out, I was about 200m to a mile behind her the whole way) She still has some learning to do but that's Kerry and my job.
I say all this to say that sometimes you never know why God does what he does. And its very hard to have blind faith and just believe. I feel it was divine intervention us finding that car as it was priced within our budget and in great shape to be a girl's first car. So its been a metric ton of ups and downs with Moo and all my kids but with faith, family and friends...we are all still here. Don't give up babysitters. No matter how hard or lonely the road you are traveling on is. Let me be the second to remind you that God is always with you. Sometimes...we just gotta be quiet and listen.
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