JSD41 ramped up her attacks and started calling my chain of command as well as requested a Congressional Investigation and an Inspector Generals Investigation into me and not paying her any support since she was homeless. Next thing you know The Commanding Generals has been contacted. This was getting crazy….crazy. JSD41 Called and demanded that I give her the $350 which came to my account for support of the athlete. After a “sparkling conversation via cell and text I finally texted her that I was taking a check to her lawyer’s office and she could get it there. She had made it clear she didn’t want a check and she needed cash. I simply said I need proof that I gave you the money so it will have to be a check. I took it to her lawyer’s office, handed it to the receptionist and left. I later put $280.00 in the athlete’s checking account. I did not text him nor tell him I did this. I didn’t see the point nor did I do it for his love or acceptance. I did it because he didn’t ask for this nor will I punish him for hurting. With Mother’s Day around the corner I still did my best to try and do the right thing. We messaged each other several times and each time she asked me to bend over backwards for her. By this time I was growing tired.
Jenny,
Ok...have you forgotten how small the Acura is with five people in it...plus bags, air mattress, pillows, blankets. You should have seen us Sunday after shopping. It was pretty funny how Rome and Jeff were covered in bags. Baseball schedule, I only have one for the Reds and if you would have told me you needed one I would have gotten to u sooner. As far as talking, you call the boys everyday...ON THE HOUSE PHONE. I too could be reached there. So...see you tonight at the game. Have a blessed afternoon.
Her response was typical.
To All Parties,
At this time, with JYD's responses, I am not comfortable with taking the children. He had his law firm fax- just yesterday- that he was willing to find me in 'Contempt' for violating a Restraining Order as he accuses me of 'harassment'. Then he states that he has no problem with 'texting' under certain conditions. Then he says "See you at the Game". I don't want to see JYD. He terrifies me. I am afraid for my life. This is a man who was not bothered in the least to see me homeless and violated Military Law in order to keep me penniless. He frightens me. He beat me. And then he says "See you at the game"......He is a sociopath. Just the other day a 'Police Officer' was arrested for killing 4 wives. Somebody- please- see this. I have passed my assessments. I have been professionally evaluated but he keeps going. He threatens, and threatens and threatens. I hate that my children are in his care but I think it would be worse for them if he did more things like have me arrested or worse- he kills me. I'm not comfortable. He feels very powerful right now with the fax from his lawyer (of which he then basically says "text me-but if I don't like what you're saying- I'll have you arrested). I just wish his lawyer would see that. He feels powerful when she supports him and yet nothing ever adds up with him. I'm not comfortable. I am feeling fear and afraid of his retaliation. His e-mails don't make sense and prove his lack of remorse.At this point- the weekend is off. His comment "See you at the game" does not jive with someone who was ready to charge me with violating a Restraining Order. I'm afraid for my life. Women die everyday at the hands of men like him. I truly, though, at this point can't believe noone sees through his inconsistences. And so, I'm not taking the kids. Because I know his pattern I am concerned for my welfare. His flippant responses are frightening to a woman who he made homeless and physically and emotionally terrorized for years. He could care less if I had food, shelter or money......He is seeing multiple women and exposing them to my children....This is a man with no conscience and he is very angry right now because I reported him to the Military for violating Military Law. His pattern is to punish. I'm not putting myself in that predicament.I am avoiding all contact and hiding out to avoid his retaliation. This requires me to not accept visitation because just this morning I was accused of harrassment and then he writes me that I can text but only if he approves of my words- Otherwise- I get arrested. He is very angry and I cannot put myself in a position to be accused of anything more. Mediation is set and we will go from there.
Sincerly, JSD41
I wrote her back and told her how jacked up what she was doing was. She tried to call but I wasn’t gonna let her talk to them they were clearly upset, crying and hurt. The Cheerleader spent the night with friends and JSD41 blew her phone up to the point where she was upset and her friends Mom called to let me know. When Mother’s day arrived, the athlete called and said his mom wanted me to drop the kids off at Walgreens around 4:30pm. I withdrew $240.00 and gave to them. I told them to taker her out to eat and the rest could be a gift from them to her. They ate at a buffet, walked around a park and were back at the house by 6:30pm. We had a new court date set for maintenance, JSD41 was asking for over $1,200.00 a month in support. I was so getting tired of going to court.
I was the one with the kids. I was paying for it all and yet she felt she deserved…no was entitled to that $1,200.00 a month in spousal maintenance and our entire tax return which would roughly be $6,500.00. My actual attorney wasn’t able to be there so her partner “J” was. At the court house we linked up and I gave him a brief rundown. We tried to settle before going in but my ex wasn’t budging so the judge would have to decide. Just hours earlier JSD41 had contacted me and my attorney’s office. She had made several threats in an attempt to blackmail me into giving her what she wanted. I told her not no but hell no and I’d take my chances in court.
Once in court “J” asked if I would explain how I had such detailed accounts of my spending. I explained that I had used Quicken since we were married and I tracked all my spending then as I do now. After all the bills and expenses were taken care of there was $300.00 left over. I explained to the judge that JSD41 had taken a hit when she failed outta school and wanted employment in the medical field. As I spoke I could feel my lips tremble and tears ran down my cheeks. I told the judge that JSD41 acted as if some jobs were beneath her. For example I recommend she get a job at Old Navy, one of her fav clothing stores; just something to give her a focus and get her out of the house. Plus the extra money would help since she’d done nothing since she failed out of school. She went off. “I had a 4.0 in nursing school! I was at the top of my class! I’m not fucking going to work retail!!!” I left it alone after that. I continued to talk, voice quivering; that as a parent we do what ever and work wherever when it’s for our family. Even if it meant flipping burgers, if it puts food on the table you do it. “J” asked one final question, “Mr. JYD, you have temp full custody right now?” “Yes,” I replied. “Is KSD41 paying you any child support?” I smiled, “No she is not.” In the end, I offered her an additional $265.00 which would give her a total of $500.00 a month until we went to mediation and settled.
JSD41 was up next. She explained how it was she wanted $1,200.00 plus a month. She couldn’t cook so she and the athlete had to eat out, no home so she needed a place to stay etc. When the dust settled the judge spoke. He explained that we all don’t get to have the jobs or employment we want and that she needed to get a job…any job…period. He ruled in my favor, I’d give her the additional 265 a month and half the income taxes.
Days later JSD41 had a meeting with my superiors and voiced her concerns. The biggest was that I was a “sociopath” and was capable of chopping her into little pieces. The end result, I would be ordered to take Parenting classes, obtain a mental health assessment and placed under a military protective order which prohibited me from contacting her via phone, email or in person. Remember, I had been court ordered to do the taxes, now I had no way of communicating with JSD41. Great job JSD41 LOL and good luck getting the taxes done.
Baseball season continued, our lives continued and JSD41 kept causing me nothing but grief, laying guilt on the kids and just being a bitter woman. On one such occasion she phoned to tell the catcher that she was sick and would not be at his game. He was cool, until we went to watch the athlete play and she showed up. I could see the pain in his lil face and I felt it was best we left without her seeing us. She treated him and his lil brother differently after they testified in court. The following weekend she refused to take our kids, telling them she was afraid that if she got them, I’d find out where she was staying and try to come and hurt her. You got to be kidding me? No one is trying to go to jail for you. The athlete was still staying with his mom and I hadn’t seen him in weeks. One night I received several disturbing texts from JSD41 which caused me to call the police and have them check in on her and the athlete. Not long afterwards his girlfriend’s folks called about JSD41. I guess the athlete had contacted their daughter and he was very upset. They along with the police went to go check on them and it was a day or so later that he’d be back in our home and his mom still doing her thing.
I had made a friend and we were just talking until JSD41 found out. She got her name and number and left a lengthy phone message which I later recorded on my phone. She told this girl I had made her homeless, lied in court and taken our kids from her. Again I was a “sociopath” and that I could chop her up into pieces. My friend began to question my honesty since she had suffered abuse long ago. I told her she’d seen the police reports and I couldn’t explain it any better. That relationship soon ended.
I would continue to reach out to JSD41 and try to settle this for the benefit of us all, especially our kids. So I did what I have always done, I followed the directives of my superiors, made appointments to do as they strongly suggested and waited for the 27th of May. That was to be our day with the mediator. Hopefully it would all get settled.
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