Divorce Nightmare Part 4

So with Mother’s day was around the corner and since I hadn’t heard from her nor had she mentioned anything I decided to email her.


JSD41,


I am writing this as per your request. Mother’s day is around the corner and with your current living situation I understand that spending time with our children is difficult. I spoke with the children this morning and asked them how they would feel about you spending Sunday with them. They felt it would be a good idea as do I. Then tonight was added. I told them that if mom agreed I would leave this evening after the baseball games and stay with a buddy until Sunday night around 2300. After the games I will gather my things and go to a friend’s where I will stay until Sunday night. I have made it that late so you have time to wash clothes as well as cook what ever you choose for the children.


This will give you the opportunity to spend quality time with our kids in an environment which they are comfortable in. I simply ask that you do not talk about me negatively nor touch/remove anything which does not belong to you. If you can prove to me that I can trust you in this manner, I will consider future ventures such as this to where it has the potential to become a standard. I told them that I would also be willing to give their Mom some money so that she could get movies at block buster or take them bowling.


This has never been about me taking anything from you but doing what is best for the children. I am giving you the opportunity to prove to me that I can trust you in our home and with our kids. By earning my trust at this stage it will open the door for future positive communications and potentially allowing you a place to stay when it is your turn to spend the weekends with the kids until the court makes its final decision in July. Right now this is an experiment and the future of this depends on how you conduct yourself in this home as well as how you act towards me. I have asked and begged for civility and to work this out with the least amount of strife from the get go and have been confronted with nothing but anger from you and your friends. I freely gave you exclusive use of the home, kids, and car and still paid a huge portion of the bills while you searched for employment. You repaid me by falsely accusing me of attacking you and as a result of this action, we both find ourselves in a situation we did not foresee. If the shoe was on the other foot, would you do the above for me? I know you would not. But I am not like you nor will I act like you. At this time I am neither willing nor prepared to discuss anything except weekends with the kids where it is possible that you stay in the home with them and I will find other accommodations for said weekend; if this works out, maybe after school could be added. Who knows where this could lead too.


As for our son The Athlete, I have spoken with him and laid down the ground rules for behaviors that I will and will not tolerate from him. If he is willing to abide by those simple rules he knows he has a place here. He made a choice to be disrespectful and I can not allow that…not now or ever. I know and understand things are very tough for him, and I have no idea what it must be like to be 17 and your world falling apart around you but he must also realize that he is neither a grown man nor an adult…he is a son and therefore must act like a son. That…is all I ask of him.


So the offer is out there for you to accept or decline. I have already spoken with my lawyer and she feels it is a very generous offer that can only benefit the kids in the long run and they are what is truly important. So again, you have a choice, the choice you make is up to you.

JSD41 was adamant and wanted to know why I would let her stay for the weekend but not full time. I answered but that wasn’t good enough she insisted I move out and let her have the home as well as the kids. You see she deserved it, seeing how she was a great mother and kids should be with their moms. I told her that kids should be with their parents and no one parent was better than another. The court made it clear what they felt was a good idea at this time and I was going to honor it. Maybe this was what JSD41 needed to wake up and finally move towards healing and good health. After going back and forth with silly texts she said she needed to confirm with her counsel if it was ok. I kinda of figured it was bull. She said she needed something in writing from my lawyer saying it was ok. It was the weekend and no way was I gonna be able to get anything in writing. I soon realized that this was going to be a waste of my time. I thought I was doing a good deed but it quickly turned into a game. The Athlete, who was staying with a friend, contacted me asking for money. Even though I hadn’t heard from him I wanted him to know I loved him, we just couldn’t have the lines crossed. I told him I would give him what I could and transfer it into his account.

Time continued to pass and as it did and I hoped maybe that today would be the day. Maybe today is the day it all stops and we all start moving forward. Maybe today, she will start focusing on her and get her life back together. JSD41 was staying with friends and still had not found employment which would help her get on her feet. The Cheerleaders birthday was fast approaching and with me having limited funds I did my best to explain that we might not be able to have the party the way she wanted but I’d do the best I could to make it special. JSD41 sent me a long “novel” which read:


Jerome,


I am writing concerning Madison's birthday coming this Saturday. Madison has talked about this birthday for months and months before you came home. She was extremely excited that her birthday fell on a Saturday this year. There is not a year that has gone by since her birth that she has not had a party. And, yet, with you in charge, she gets no party. You have not even discussed it nor brought it up. She has straight A's and deserves it. The fact that you have no relationship with your daughter is so sad for her. In the entire time since you have been back you haven't even watched her cheer-leading. You pay no attention to her and yet buy her a cell phone and think that constitutes a relationship. This time last year she was planning her party at a Spa and as excited as any girl would be prior to her birthday. This year, she is disappointed but behaving like it isn't a 'big deal' because of the strife you have made this family endure. Her attempt at not causing any more problems is heartbreaking. Her apple did not fall far from my tree and she is strong. But, she is devastated. On top of losing her mother she doesn't get special treatment on May 2nd with her friends after talking about it excitedly for all of these months.


All of the children have suffered in their own way and yet, prior to your return, they were doing wonderfully. Your denial does not erase the truth. Sorry. Your conditional love of Alex (and all of them) does not explain calling the police on a child you readily admit that you 'can't imagine what it is like to have his world falling apart around him'. When people feel that their world is falling apart they react. But because you are so psychologically abusive and controlling reactions are not tolerated. You are the single common denominator at all times putting this family into crisis.


Each child is having difficulty in one way or another and it is all being properly documented and monitored. The most important issue at hand is their demise has coincided with your return and your subsequent custody of them. And that will come out eventually.


You may feel like you have 'won' and I have 'lost'. And it appears you have but I know that your lawyer has no idea of the pathological liar she is dealing with and the Judge's blurred interpretation was just that- blurred- by your lies and manipulations.


The e-mail continued on as all hers did blaming me for all of this. Letters and texts like this would continue and get longer and longer as she felt she needed to be heard. This was to be the new standard. With the people she was staying with out of town, JSD41 finally decided to come and get the kids after weeks of excuses. I gave them 25 dollars so all including JSD41 and the athlete could eat. She insisted on texting me and being cocky. Talked it up focusing on them seeing Mom and having a nice visit and try to forget for a lil while what was going on. JSD41 quickly texted me after she picked up the kids.


17:21 JSD41 “Every body talking bout you-if I had a dollar for everytime someone has said- ‘I saw how he treated you at games’ and how he treated the kids-how you wouldn sit wit us-ur dirty looks-ur rudeness-and these things were said all the time while you were in korea-not jus now- that why noone surprised by u takin kids from a good mom-they already knew how you abused me-I heard it all year wen you were gone-and u reaffirmed their suspicions by takin the kids they saw me take great care of all these years-good luck in this community dude-you only screwed ur self all this time and noone that matters believe you cause u made a name of ur self way before this.”

This kinda crap went on for days; a never ending onslaught, a verbal war in which text and e-mails were to be the primary weapon. She had to have attention; she needed everyone in town to know how I had wronged her and took the worlds most perfect children from the greatest mother man had ever seen. I soon realized that she would just keep going and going and going…just like the energizer bunny. She craved and needed an audience. Man I had no idea who the new audience was going to be. But I surely found out the next day at work.