Well it's Saturday and it’s been an interesting day thus far. It started out with a call from my daughter blaming me for my “friends” contacting her mother. As I tried to explain via logic that I had nothing to do with the contact nor do I care about said contact. She then talked to me about a fake facebook account titled “Jenny Jailbird” and insisted that I along with my “friends” were behind it. Well we discussed it for awhile and the conversation eventually came to a close.
Which leads me to where I am now, writing about it. My daughter, for as intelligent and smart as she is there is a reason you can’t reason with a teenager. They don’t understand. See, we all establish an M.O. aka Modus Operandi. A Latin phrase, approximately translated as “method of operation.” The term is used to describe someone's habits or manner of working. So I have an MO when it comes to dealing with my ex. And my MO is to speak my mind and say what I wish to say. I’ve never hidden behind a fake facebook account or fake anything else. I’m a big boy and I don’t have a problem calling a spade a spade. Besides, I do have a blog as I recall and the first amendment grants me such a right. However, I do exercise this right within reason. That reason being I don’t write anything that I can not prove, willing to put my name to or willing to go to court over. So that makes for honest writing and I guess you can say is a "code" of sorts. That and it keeps me out of trouble.
So when you’re trying to explain your “MO” to your daughter, as a teenager she just doesn’t get it. As for my ex-wife’s friends aka her flock of sheep…they are just…let’s say they are as “clueless” as my ex. They do not have the facts nor do they actually know me. So of course, it’s Jennifer’s version of me and they all eat it up like a bunch of hungry lil puppies. Why would I waste my time with fake accounts when I have spent plenty of time writing about my life and dealings with my ex right here within my blog. I have the ability to post pictures, documents and anything else if I wished to as the young folks say, “Put her on blast.” But alas…none are smart enough to pay attention to the facts or reality. Friday around 2:30pm I recieved a friend request from Jenny Jailbird. Not knowing who it was (But assuming it was my ex Jennifer), I messaged them.
Jerome Dingle 2:37pm
I got no issues adding you to my friends list. Nothing to hide, but how come you decided to use a fake account? Is there a reason you’re not using your actual account to friend me?
Jenny Jailbird 2:47pm
jerome this in support of you, n i rather stay unknown lol i want her ass to feel salty. the truth will b known
Jerome Dingle 2:52
Ok, I thought this was actually Jennifer. Supporting me is nice and all but a facebook account like this...it's really not needed. IMHO
After this I decided to look into this account and try and figure out who it was. Basically trying to confirm whether it was really my ex. See numerous times in the past my ex and her friends have created fake names and accounts to get me to talk and see what I was up too. My ex even gave one of her friends my password so she could read my e-mails (while I was in Korea, and yes...I have emails between Jennifer and her buddy Jennifer Shorts that proves this). Ok, back to the here and now...then my facebook beeps and I get the below message from one of Jennifer’s friends. This woman lived across the street from me in KY since 2005 and has never had a conversation with me which lasted longer than 5 minutes yet she feels the need to contact me on facebook on my ex-wife’s behalf.
Dee Houghtby Corkran 3:12pm
Shame on you, Jerome Dingle. If you didn't do this horrible thing of creating a false facebook page for Jenny, a friend of yours did. Shame on you. Your children will see this. It's sick.
Jerome Dingle 3:17pm
Why are you contacting me?
Dee Houghtby Corkran 3:18pm
Shame on you.
Jerome Dingle 3:20pm
ok, that tells me alot. If you aren’t adult enough to speak to me then don’t. You were never my friend, nor have you ever actually spoken to me. So...no need now. Have a nice afternoon.
I find it odd that right after I’m contacted by this “Jenny Jailbird” that her friend contacts me. And again, Mrs. Corkran and I are not friends nor does she correspond with me except on Jennifer’s behalf. So the contact at best...its suspect. Which leads me to believe that it wasn’t one of my friends but possibly Jennifer herself or someone she knows. I checked the profile out and there were three friends listed. All are Jennifer’s friends and one whom lives here in Fayetteville…found that odd too. Especially since all Jennifer did was talk about this woman and her daughters behind her back, now they are facebook friends and chatting it up. And all have been extremely vocal about me, yet none of them know me. Why would Jennifer’s “friends” befriend someone called Jenny Jailbird, especially with her photo from her arrest plastered as the profile pic. Another thing is there were two photos in the photo album. Both were documents. Both were from Jennifer’s arrest. Well, I sent a copy of the arrest report via facebook to her cousin Kathleen after she contacted me again on Jennifer’s behalf. None of my friends have ever seen it. The only other person I sent it to was Jennifer's Mom whom requested to see it.
So again, I do have copies of the police reports as well as the assessments all on digits which I could easily load up on my facebook and or on my blog right here. There isn’t a need for me to establish a fake account to put my ex on “blast.” But it wasn’t long before my daughter called me stating the same thing. Followed by emails from my ex:
ACTIONS TAKEN:
1)COMMAND NOTIFIED. YEP TALKED TO HIM ON HIS WAY TO FLORIDA.
2) IG REQUEST FOR INTERNAL INVESTIGATION OF YOUR CYBER BULLYING
3) UPDATE WITH THE VICTIMS' ADVOCACY ON BRAGG
4) POLICE REPORT WITH ALL EVIDENCE
5) FACEBOOK NOTIFIED TO EXPECT POLICE IN...VESTIGATION
6) FORT BRAGG POLICE NOTIFIED-WAITING ON KENTUCKY POLICE REPORT TO CONFER
7) DOCUMENTATION OF YEARS OF ABUSE-ESPECIALLY THE ESCALATING THREATS FROM YOUR 'FRIENDS' DIANNE SUNDERLAND HARDEMAN AND KIM JONES TO MYSELF, MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
8)FBI NOTIFIED. SWEAR TO GOD. I WILL PUSH MY FREEDOM TO THE MAX AND STOP YOUR ABUSE AGAINST MY KIDS AND I.
I AM NOT PLAYING. THIS IS ENOUGH. ENOUGH. I ASKED YOU TO CALL YOUR GOONS OFF. YOU WILL BE CONNECTED TO EVERYTHING. I AM CONFIDENT OF THAT. DON'T DROP THE SOAP YOU ASSHOLE. OH, AND TELL DONNA IF SHE IS CONNECTED? I WILL HAVE HER CHARGED AS WELL.
oh, and? 'Take it up with her'??????? REALLY. I DON'T FUCKING KNOW YOUR FRIENDS. YOU LIED AND INCITED HATRED TOWARDS ME. PUTTING ME AT RISK. AND I PRAY YOU ALL ARE PUNISHED FOR IT. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR COMPLETE STRANGERS HARASSING AND THREATENING ME. YOU ARE A CRIMINAL. NEVER LET YOUR CRIMINAL MIND AFFECT MY KIDS OR I AGAIN. PERIOD. 'TAKE IT UP WITH HER'??? REALLY? THEY ALREADY HAVE. COMPLETE STRANGERS THANKS TO YOU ENCOURAGING IT. AND? YOU STILL ARE. I REALLY HOPE YOU GET THE BOOK THROWN AT YOU. AND SO DOES EVERYONE WHO WAS HARASSED BY YOUR 'FRIENDS'.
So there you have it...Free Speech. I don't hide...behind anything.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Friday, November 9, 2012
I'm Doing So Well Now...LOL
My ex talks about me way more than she should. So I decided to test the theory and see just how much. So here it is an experiment in obsessive behavior; this is to see just how many times my former spouse (who claims to not be obsessed or focused on me and my life) talks about me over the span of 30 days. I have given her a car, support paid the way she wants it and she has physical custody of my kids. So let’s just see if she gets all she says she wants…will this go away.
October 1st: ~~Diary of a Divorcee-Confession #147~~After a FULL YEAR of fighting to have my Child Support Court Order honored and Military Law honored that mandates the BAH go to the dependants? Somebody FINALLY did their job.
I know right!! Yayyyyy! He can never take me to court again over the car!
Thank you, Roz. He insisted on paying for the car as part of the separation agreement. He did everything crazy he did in the separation and divorce figuring I would go back to him. I didn't. So, then he paid it off. Two reasons. 1) He figured he would save money on the payment (Which he refinanced to double what the payment was to keep going to court....and 2) He figured I didn't have the $400.00 for the taxes. Which, of course, I didn't. Then he threatened to 'steal' the car if I couldn't. Sure did-called it Operation Recovery. And, he threatened to take me to Court. Blah. Blah. Blah if I couldn't have the taxes paid in five days. Same old. Turns out, with a Court Order that the car was mine at the time of Pay Off? I didn't have to pay the taxes. So, it cost me $19.00 to Register it in my name. In conclusion? While he was trying to screw me again? He didn't do his homework and I scored me a car worth about $15,000.00 for $19.00 bucks. True story.
October 2nd: Diary of a Divorcee-Confession #149~~Wow. So I couldn't sleep. And I have been laying here thinking about the past two years of Hell. Two years ago I had to spend my Birthday without my kids. Last year he wouldn't pay child support and we were truly destitute. Worrying about toilet paper and soap. The BASICS.
October 3rd: I live in 'Small Town America'. And, it is AMAZING how 'Small Town' GOSSIP travels. For real. It is actually quite amazing. When I left my Ex, he knew this. I didn't. I never cared about anyone's 'business' nor was I miserable enough to embellish another's 'misery'. Well, he started a bunch of lies about me. And it snowballed.
~~YEP.Love EVERY WORD. WORD FOR WORD~~But me? I will do what I please, I will breathe and you will pay for your sins. This IS IT for us. You ARE full of it. haha. Your LOSS~~
October 14th: ~Diary of a Divorcee-Confession #158~~We will see how THIS one goes over-oh well, what is RIGHT is RIGHT~And, I sure hope that Corrupt SOB who calls himself a 'Judge' reads this~~This 'Chess' Match is gonna stop-I am the Queen for his pawns.~~Jus Sayin'~~
Letter to Mr. Insanity:
"A head's up. I will not have the money to transport the kids for Christmas. Period. So, I would suggest you arrange s...
I mean, really? And if he goes overseas? Do I board a SHIP or a PLANE to get them there? Hardin County Family Court System? Get with the REAL WORLD. Helllooooooo!!!!!
October 16th: ~Diary of a Divorcee-Confession #159~~I hesitate to post this for two reasons. One? Years ago in our first year of marriage my ex talked me into to 'Couple's Therapy'. Then he proceeded to portray himself as a 'victim'. He told the 'therapist' that I called him an 'Asshole'. She looked directly at ME and said "That is ABUSE. THAT is NAME CALLING". I gathered my purse, looked directly at her and said "He THREW me ACROSS A ROOM. INTO A WALL. I don't call that 'name calling'. I call THAT an ADJECTIVE TO DESCRIBE THE NOUN THAT ABUSED ME". Lol. Sure did. I mean, give me a break. Secondly, as a victim of abuse you have to deal with so much 'questioning', disbelief, and 'blaming the victim'. Most DON'T and REFUSE to accept this is rampant in our Society. They will say "You REALLY said that?" ...I will say "Hell, yeah, I said that". They will usually judge the victim. It is so much easier to say "She MUST have done SOMETHING" than to be honest and say "NO Woman should be thrown across a room!". It is so much easier than facing the fact that the United States of America has a huge problem with the abuse of women and children, the lack of resources and the corruption of the family courts which then allows the abuser to abuse you legally. That being said, here is my last e-mail to my abuser. The abuser of my kids. If you are faint at heart and Puritan in mind-disregard-if you are ready to hear the anger, disgust and fatigue of someone who is sick and tired of the abuse and the system's failure to protect-Please Read~Here we go.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Look, you asshole, this whole 'pretend world' that you live in where you portray to people that you are 'taking care' of me has gotten very old. Every cent you send is spent on your kids. …….Expect the Bill and notification of what I need from you as a Down Payment. In the meantime? Go Fuck Yourself and quit stressing my kids out. Asshole
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's the truth and screw the 'formalities' or the expectation of me to always act like a 'Lady'. I won't with him. He better get used to it. And so should the 'system'. I have been abused long enough. I am tired of this waste of time and energy at the expense of my children who along with myself have literally been treated like third class citizens. I may as well wear a Burqua the way I was given NO RIGHTS FOR SO LONG. I should have been stoned in the streets. And, yes, Dear Reader, it IS that BAD here at times. Well, know what? I DON'T wear a Scarlet Letter. I DON'T wear a Burqua and my daughter and I will demand nothing less than fairness. I WILL teach her that. The Constitution PROTECTS her and her Father has RESPONSIBILITIES. No Appelate Judge can argue that. And? He deserves my 'ADJECTIVES'. There IS only ONE way to describe a completely abusive Asshole. Sorry...TRUTH!! Jus Sayin...~~~
Jennifer Specht: Thanks, Carol. That means a lot. Enough is Enough! And, no more, my kids can't take his drama. It's ridiculous. Braces? It's not like she is asking to go to Europe to party for the summer. I mean, give me a break!. So, I put him on blast and publish this Diary for every other woman who has been ripped apart by a system that is a BUSINESS. THEY WANT YOUR MONEY. How do they get it and protect their jobs? They keep you in Kangaroo Court. Enough.
Jennifer Specht: Yes, Carol, my children and I were not only victimised by him but then by everyone in the system. Literally TOLD that we didn't have a right to our anger and still being called liars. It is sickening how society supports abuse
October 21st: ~Diary of a Divorcee-Confession #162~~I had an AMAZING Weekend. I did. I spent so much time with my beautiful kids. I cleaned the house (I LOVE a CLEAN House, not gonna lie!)~I got all of the groceries bought. I planned meals. I watched Romy play an amazing game of Football. I had a hilarious day with Maddy shopping and enjoyed every minute of Jeff's 'Gift of the Gab'. I have NO COMPLAINTS. Even my 'ex' husband's stupid, childish drama just made me laugh. It did. I like this feeling of 'Normal'. I like that my kids are finally seeing 'Normal'. They deserve it. Groceries, Mom home-Mom cooking-need something? Mom can get it? THAT is NORMAL. And THAT is COMFORT. Thank you, God, for carrying us through. We are loving our drama free life and THIS is our COMFORT ZONE~
Well there you have it; a lite month by my ex’s standards. For someone who has moved on, found the love of her life and is truly happy for the first time in her life. I sure do seem to come up in her thoughts an awful lot. I have received numerous emails, 32 emails in all during the month of October but refrained from including them in this. Many were ramblings and repeated the same thing over and over again. Well, it’s good to know I made a lasting impression. Bahahahahaha I sure do crack me up.
October 1st: ~~Diary of a Divorcee-Confession #147~~After a FULL YEAR of fighting to have my Child Support Court Order honored and Military Law honored that mandates the BAH go to the dependants? Somebody FINALLY did their job.
I know right!! Yayyyyy! He can never take me to court again over the car!
Thank you, Roz. He insisted on paying for the car as part of the separation agreement. He did everything crazy he did in the separation and divorce figuring I would go back to him. I didn't. So, then he paid it off. Two reasons. 1) He figured he would save money on the payment (Which he refinanced to double what the payment was to keep going to court....and 2) He figured I didn't have the $400.00 for the taxes. Which, of course, I didn't. Then he threatened to 'steal' the car if I couldn't. Sure did-called it Operation Recovery. And, he threatened to take me to Court. Blah. Blah. Blah if I couldn't have the taxes paid in five days. Same old. Turns out, with a Court Order that the car was mine at the time of Pay Off? I didn't have to pay the taxes. So, it cost me $19.00 to Register it in my name. In conclusion? While he was trying to screw me again? He didn't do his homework and I scored me a car worth about $15,000.00 for $19.00 bucks. True story.
October 2nd: Diary of a Divorcee-Confession #149~~Wow. So I couldn't sleep. And I have been laying here thinking about the past two years of Hell. Two years ago I had to spend my Birthday without my kids. Last year he wouldn't pay child support and we were truly destitute. Worrying about toilet paper and soap. The BASICS.
October 3rd: I live in 'Small Town America'. And, it is AMAZING how 'Small Town' GOSSIP travels. For real. It is actually quite amazing. When I left my Ex, he knew this. I didn't. I never cared about anyone's 'business' nor was I miserable enough to embellish another's 'misery'. Well, he started a bunch of lies about me. And it snowballed.
~~YEP.Love EVERY WORD. WORD FOR WORD~~But me? I will do what I please, I will breathe and you will pay for your sins. This IS IT for us. You ARE full of it. haha. Your LOSS~~
October 14th: ~Diary of a Divorcee-Confession #158~~We will see how THIS one goes over-oh well, what is RIGHT is RIGHT~And, I sure hope that Corrupt SOB who calls himself a 'Judge' reads this~~This 'Chess' Match is gonna stop-I am the Queen for his pawns.~~Jus Sayin'~~
Letter to Mr. Insanity:
"A head's up. I will not have the money to transport the kids for Christmas. Period. So, I would suggest you arrange s...
I mean, really? And if he goes overseas? Do I board a SHIP or a PLANE to get them there? Hardin County Family Court System? Get with the REAL WORLD. Helllooooooo!!!!!
October 16th: ~Diary of a Divorcee-Confession #159~~I hesitate to post this for two reasons. One? Years ago in our first year of marriage my ex talked me into to 'Couple's Therapy'. Then he proceeded to portray himself as a 'victim'. He told the 'therapist' that I called him an 'Asshole'. She looked directly at ME and said "That is ABUSE. THAT is NAME CALLING". I gathered my purse, looked directly at her and said "He THREW me ACROSS A ROOM. INTO A WALL. I don't call that 'name calling'. I call THAT an ADJECTIVE TO DESCRIBE THE NOUN THAT ABUSED ME". Lol. Sure did. I mean, give me a break. Secondly, as a victim of abuse you have to deal with so much 'questioning', disbelief, and 'blaming the victim'. Most DON'T and REFUSE to accept this is rampant in our Society. They will say "You REALLY said that?" ...I will say "Hell, yeah, I said that". They will usually judge the victim. It is so much easier to say "She MUST have done SOMETHING" than to be honest and say "NO Woman should be thrown across a room!". It is so much easier than facing the fact that the United States of America has a huge problem with the abuse of women and children, the lack of resources and the corruption of the family courts which then allows the abuser to abuse you legally. That being said, here is my last e-mail to my abuser. The abuser of my kids. If you are faint at heart and Puritan in mind-disregard-if you are ready to hear the anger, disgust and fatigue of someone who is sick and tired of the abuse and the system's failure to protect-Please Read~Here we go.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Look, you asshole, this whole 'pretend world' that you live in where you portray to people that you are 'taking care' of me has gotten very old. Every cent you send is spent on your kids. …….Expect the Bill and notification of what I need from you as a Down Payment. In the meantime? Go Fuck Yourself and quit stressing my kids out. Asshole
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's the truth and screw the 'formalities' or the expectation of me to always act like a 'Lady'. I won't with him. He better get used to it. And so should the 'system'. I have been abused long enough. I am tired of this waste of time and energy at the expense of my children who along with myself have literally been treated like third class citizens. I may as well wear a Burqua the way I was given NO RIGHTS FOR SO LONG. I should have been stoned in the streets. And, yes, Dear Reader, it IS that BAD here at times. Well, know what? I DON'T wear a Scarlet Letter. I DON'T wear a Burqua and my daughter and I will demand nothing less than fairness. I WILL teach her that. The Constitution PROTECTS her and her Father has RESPONSIBILITIES. No Appelate Judge can argue that. And? He deserves my 'ADJECTIVES'. There IS only ONE way to describe a completely abusive Asshole. Sorry...TRUTH!! Jus Sayin...~~~
Jennifer Specht: Thanks, Carol. That means a lot. Enough is Enough! And, no more, my kids can't take his drama. It's ridiculous. Braces? It's not like she is asking to go to Europe to party for the summer. I mean, give me a break!. So, I put him on blast and publish this Diary for every other woman who has been ripped apart by a system that is a BUSINESS. THEY WANT YOUR MONEY. How do they get it and protect their jobs? They keep you in Kangaroo Court. Enough.
Jennifer Specht: Yes, Carol, my children and I were not only victimised by him but then by everyone in the system. Literally TOLD that we didn't have a right to our anger and still being called liars. It is sickening how society supports abuse
October 21st: ~Diary of a Divorcee-Confession #162~~I had an AMAZING Weekend. I did. I spent so much time with my beautiful kids. I cleaned the house (I LOVE a CLEAN House, not gonna lie!)~I got all of the groceries bought. I planned meals. I watched Romy play an amazing game of Football. I had a hilarious day with Maddy shopping and enjoyed every minute of Jeff's 'Gift of the Gab'. I have NO COMPLAINTS. Even my 'ex' husband's stupid, childish drama just made me laugh. It did. I like this feeling of 'Normal'. I like that my kids are finally seeing 'Normal'. They deserve it. Groceries, Mom home-Mom cooking-need something? Mom can get it? THAT is NORMAL. And THAT is COMFORT. Thank you, God, for carrying us through. We are loving our drama free life and THIS is our COMFORT ZONE~
Well there you have it; a lite month by my ex’s standards. For someone who has moved on, found the love of her life and is truly happy for the first time in her life. I sure do seem to come up in her thoughts an awful lot. I have received numerous emails, 32 emails in all during the month of October but refrained from including them in this. Many were ramblings and repeated the same thing over and over again. Well, it’s good to know I made a lasting impression. Bahahahahaha I sure do crack me up.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
I Believe Romney Has Already Loss
Saturday morning and as I lay in the bed watching the news I have come to a realization. Although I’m not a supporter of Obama (this has nothing to do with my military service) I believe he will be reelected. You may ask how come after weeks of debate and good conversations with friends from all walks of life on facebook and in person. Well it’s like this…Obama is already in office so any one, including Romney, has an up hill battle ahead. And when you fight battles you have got to have troops, support, supplies and a very good or solid plan. In the military, we have a saying. All plans are good plans until you make first contact.
Well Romney made first contact and instead of developing the situation rapidly, he stuck to his original plan. Instead of convincing voters of who he is, where he is, where he’s coming from and his vision for our country; not apologizing for being rich, he has wasted time and money on “petty” ads and comments trying to play the “blame” or “zingers” game. In 2008, Obama did a good job of not “slinging” mud and sticking to his plan which was change. And it worked, people bought into it, voted and he was elected. This year however he is doing and has done a lot of “trash” talking, especially in the last week. Why? Because he already has a solid base of supporters across the country and although he may loose a few hear and there, he still has a solid foundation which is more than enough to keep him in office.
I don’t think there are enough people who are unhappy with Obama to vote Romney in and unseat him. And that’s mainly Romney’s campaign’s (plan of attack) fault or fatal flaw. As I sat and watched MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow it became very clear. Not only is Romney trying to win over the undecided and those Obama supporters who he has made unhappy; he’s also battling the liberal media outlets. So he’s got a President already in office and a slew of media outlets that aren’t challenging the President on things he’s not done well or promises he hasn’t kept. So those individual’s who are on the fence or are unhappy supporters, needed Romney to come forward and explain as well as get his message out in a clear and concise manner. And its crunch time…and I feel it’s a lil too late. Those undecided are probably going to go with what they already know.
Benghazi and what’s become public should be a much bigger story then it is but there are more liberal media outlets so the tough questions aren’t being asked and discussed. Romney decided to give Obama a “pass” on this and other topics in foreign affairs in hopes of gaining more female support. But when you have Senators making ridiculous statements about abortion, rape (I understand what he was saying he just said it all wrong) and a woman’s choice, that will severely damage your name and stance. The President isn’t being called out on his perceived action or lack there of. None who are supporters have come forward and said, “yeah…he may have screwed up on that one.” People are ignoring it and focusing on jobs, or abortion comments. I look at comments here on FB and when I look at my page and my friends list, I have a “Stew” of friends because there is no such thing as a “Melting Pot.” You see within a “Stew” many of the vegetables and meats keep there shape and overall taste but they do become influenced and acquire some of the flavors from other meats and veggies in the stew. We as a people are no different. We maybe one thing but we have the flexibility to go, do and see things that allow us to change our opinions. My friends on FB are a true representation of our country. Men, woman, gay, straight, Hispanic, Black, White, API, young, old, educated, rich, poor, I could go on and on. Can you say the same about those you choose to include within your “Circle of Friends?”
So when it comes to this battle, I am coming to the realization that Romney’s plan of attack should have been changed and modified as he fought his campaign. Problem is the fighting was moving faster than his plan could handle and we have found ourselves where we are; which is in a neck in neck race to the finish-line. The finish-line, being the White House. Romney should have had a decent lead to compensate for those undecided voters. But without a good lead and a good solid plan for those undecided and wishy washy to sink their teeth into…I think they are just gonna go with what they know because they haven’t been pushed or truly turned off by Obama’s administration from the last 4 years. That and some just don’t want to admit that they may have been wrong voting for him and want to be able to say “See we told you. He did keep his promises and get the job done.” Problem is he can only serve two terms so his second term he can do what he wishes in some regards.
So…I hope things get better and he does a better job because if he doesn’t all you who have claimed that things are better and he obtained the seat with a country in a bad place…will have lost all credibility with me and I will gladly tell you to SUCK IT UP CUPCAKE!!! You put him there, now deal with it. Don’t complain because you had a chance to make and effect change and you choose the easy way out.
Well Romney made first contact and instead of developing the situation rapidly, he stuck to his original plan. Instead of convincing voters of who he is, where he is, where he’s coming from and his vision for our country; not apologizing for being rich, he has wasted time and money on “petty” ads and comments trying to play the “blame” or “zingers” game. In 2008, Obama did a good job of not “slinging” mud and sticking to his plan which was change. And it worked, people bought into it, voted and he was elected. This year however he is doing and has done a lot of “trash” talking, especially in the last week. Why? Because he already has a solid base of supporters across the country and although he may loose a few hear and there, he still has a solid foundation which is more than enough to keep him in office.
I don’t think there are enough people who are unhappy with Obama to vote Romney in and unseat him. And that’s mainly Romney’s campaign’s (plan of attack) fault or fatal flaw. As I sat and watched MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow it became very clear. Not only is Romney trying to win over the undecided and those Obama supporters who he has made unhappy; he’s also battling the liberal media outlets. So he’s got a President already in office and a slew of media outlets that aren’t challenging the President on things he’s not done well or promises he hasn’t kept. So those individual’s who are on the fence or are unhappy supporters, needed Romney to come forward and explain as well as get his message out in a clear and concise manner. And its crunch time…and I feel it’s a lil too late. Those undecided are probably going to go with what they already know.
Benghazi and what’s become public should be a much bigger story then it is but there are more liberal media outlets so the tough questions aren’t being asked and discussed. Romney decided to give Obama a “pass” on this and other topics in foreign affairs in hopes of gaining more female support. But when you have Senators making ridiculous statements about abortion, rape (I understand what he was saying he just said it all wrong) and a woman’s choice, that will severely damage your name and stance. The President isn’t being called out on his perceived action or lack there of. None who are supporters have come forward and said, “yeah…he may have screwed up on that one.” People are ignoring it and focusing on jobs, or abortion comments. I look at comments here on FB and when I look at my page and my friends list, I have a “Stew” of friends because there is no such thing as a “Melting Pot.” You see within a “Stew” many of the vegetables and meats keep there shape and overall taste but they do become influenced and acquire some of the flavors from other meats and veggies in the stew. We as a people are no different. We maybe one thing but we have the flexibility to go, do and see things that allow us to change our opinions. My friends on FB are a true representation of our country. Men, woman, gay, straight, Hispanic, Black, White, API, young, old, educated, rich, poor, I could go on and on. Can you say the same about those you choose to include within your “Circle of Friends?”
So when it comes to this battle, I am coming to the realization that Romney’s plan of attack should have been changed and modified as he fought his campaign. Problem is the fighting was moving faster than his plan could handle and we have found ourselves where we are; which is in a neck in neck race to the finish-line. The finish-line, being the White House. Romney should have had a decent lead to compensate for those undecided voters. But without a good lead and a good solid plan for those undecided and wishy washy to sink their teeth into…I think they are just gonna go with what they know because they haven’t been pushed or truly turned off by Obama’s administration from the last 4 years. That and some just don’t want to admit that they may have been wrong voting for him and want to be able to say “See we told you. He did keep his promises and get the job done.” Problem is he can only serve two terms so his second term he can do what he wishes in some regards.
So…I hope things get better and he does a better job because if he doesn’t all you who have claimed that things are better and he obtained the seat with a country in a bad place…will have lost all credibility with me and I will gladly tell you to SUCK IT UP CUPCAKE!!! You put him there, now deal with it. Don’t complain because you had a chance to make and effect change and you choose the easy way out.
Friday, September 7, 2012
What Words Can Say
Obsess: haunt in mind; preoccupy or be preoccupied greatly.
Obsession: idea, etc. that obsesses one.
Exaggerate: make seem greater than it really is; overstate.
Lie: make a false statement knowingly.
Harass: trouble or attack constantly.
Hate: a strong
dislike
Bitter: sorrowful, painful, resentful, etc.
Divorce: legal dissolution of a marriage.
Paranoid: mental illness of feeling persecuted.
Narcissism: self-love.
Mal: bad or badly.
Adapt: fit or adjust as needed.
Accountable: responsible.
Responsible: obliged to do or answer for.
Omit: to leave out.
Not too long ago I wrote a post on FB and used these same 15
words. 15 words with various meanings but speak volumes if you ask me. I sat on
a Saturday morning and just starting looking each one up in my dictionary…writing
down what Webster defined them as. Its funny how we can pick and choose to use
words to either describe us or things in our life. It’s even more amazing when
we use these words incorrectly as if we are uneducated or ill informed.
I’ve always had a
problem with words, especially when I feel they aren’t being used correctly.
Guess you can say it’s a pet peeve of mine. So as I sit here…sippin on a Bud
Light Platinum listening to music I sit and wonder. How come we use words
incorrectly? Is it because we are dumb? Maybe it’s because we are too lazy to
read and understand what it is we are saying. Or…maybe we are misguided and we
just aren’t as smart as we like to think? Hmmmmmm???????
Obsess: haunt in
mind; preoccupy or be preoccupied greatly and Obsession: idea, etc. that
obsesses one; are two words which (verb and noun) describe an action that we
can commit or a thing that we can sometimes do. Being obsessed or having an
obsession can be a good thing. But mainly it’s a word that we associate with it
being bad or negative. People obsess about objects, places and people. In the
movies when someone obsesses about another person…it usually turns out bad for
one of the two parties. Don’t believe me; watch Fatal Attraction, Obsessed or
Single White Female. Yeah…didn’t end all too well for someone now did it? Yeah
I know that they are all movies but they do show how a person can obsess about
another and not in a good way.
Exaggerate: make seem greater than it really is; overstate, Lie:
make a false statement knowingly, Omit: to leave out. Are more words that we
use from time to time when we want to add color to often dull and boring
stories we tell about our lives. They can make life seem larger than it
actually is. But as they can add color to life they too can cause one problems
when their definitions are used incorrectly during situations we may find
ourselves in based on our own actions. Which leads to words like Accountable:
responsible, Responsible: obliged to do or answer for. These will now make us,
or should make us stand up and take notice. Make us adults in a sense, and own
up to what it is we may be doing or saying at the time. These two words are
surely adult words yet many shrink and avoid them at all cost. Why…I guess you
can say its immaturity or maybe its fear. Fear that maybe we aren’t really grown
up and we are just pretending to be grownups.
When we refuse to grow up and act as adults it can seem as
if we become Paranoid: mental illness of feeling persecuted or even display Narcissism:
self-love. Like everyone is out to get us or attack us. When truth be told…most
of the time it isn’t true. It’s normally the people that love us the most and
only want to see us well and healthy get accused of conspiring to do us wrong
or hurt us when it’s simply not the case. Not at all but they can act suspicious
of others, irritable, often jealous, and tend to overvalue their private
perspective on the world. They are just suspicious and hostile all the time. Man…that’s got to be trying I’d think. Narcissism
only adds fuel to the fire which is paranoia. You start to believe you are
above any and all. Most of this behavior is designed to impress others or boost
one’s image or yourself. That your thoughts or ideas are so grand and important
that you should share them with people you feel are there to support you. But
it can back fire when you start to feel distraught over a ruined social
relationship, having alienated friends, family members or a marriage partner. You
may even feel that you are above the law. This kind of thinking is dangerous
and can only lead you down a path to self-destruction. For yourself and relations
ships that you may have spent the better part of your life time cultivating. Friends…family…loved
ones…no one is safe because you will see them as the enemy and out to get you.
And when the enemy surrounds you can begin to Harass: trouble
or attack constantly. Attack those trying to help you because in your mind…they
aren’t trying to help you. They are only out to hurt you. Once you have that
mindset it’s easy to find yourself hating those people. Hate: a strong dislike. I recall so many years
ago a fellow Corporal who was stationed with me in Korea telling me you should
never hate anyone. “Hate is a strong word Dingle,” he said. “You should never
use it. You should say you dislike their ways because it’s impossible to hate
someone.” That conversation stuck with me and I have done my best since that
day to not say I hate someone. Because he was right…hate is a very strong and
powerful word.
But some will use that word and choose to associate it with
a relationship(s). Especially after a bad break up or Divorce: legal dissolution
of a marriage. And for some…once you find yourself there you can clearly become
let’s say…Bitter: sorrowful, painful, resentful, etc. Unable to move on, unable
to let go of your past and look towards your new future that you so desired. Bitterness
doesn’t actually hurt those your bitter towards if you think about it. I mean
let’s look at those your bitter at…I bet they aren’t sitting around being
bitter. I’m willing to bet they have moved on and enjoying their life while you
sit and stew in the bitterness which you yourself have created.
An unwillingness to move forward and harbor resentment is
viewed as maladaptive. Mal: bad
or badly along with Adapt: fit or adjust as needed. By definition it’s an
abnormality which prevents some normal, expected talent or ability from being
expressed, or it has an adverse impact on the individual's ability to live
harmoniously with others.
So it all comes back
on you. Who you are and what you learned about yourself as well as how to use
words. It reminds me of a pretty profound quote I read some time ago. “Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person
right. It makes you free.” See…words are very powerful when you use them
correctly.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Parents Just Don’t Understand
“Parents Just Don’t Understand” was hit rap tune in the late 80’s by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince. The tune itself was pretty catchy in which The Fresh Prince discusses problems that a young person was going through and how his parents just simply didn’t understand what he dealing with. Many of us laughed and enjoyed the song since we all could relate to what was being said. Fast forward 20 plus years and now I’m a parent and The Fresh Prince, who’s now grown with his own family and goes by Will Smith, should do a reprise of that hit and title it “Children Just Don’t Understand.”
Now, I’m not saying all children but I do feel most are just out of touch with reality. They seem to think they know more than we adults when it comes to just about everything in life. I can think of numerous discussion I have had with anyone of my kids to which I’m always wrong, I don’t know what I’m talking about or I’m purposely trying to ruin their lives. I mean were we a bunch of “know it alls” like they are today? Or perhaps is it our society which has overloaded our kids with so much information that they suffer from “know it all syndrome?” Once the information has been presented to them and absorbed we have just created the dreaded creature known as the know it all. Not only does this creature know it all but it’s also smarter than you. It seemingly knows more about your life than you do and life in general than you. Problem is these creatures will literally drive you to drink because their truly is no way to fight them…cause they know it all.
And you know…some of us deserve this treatment. Especially when we think back to how we tormented our parents when we were kids. The endless discussions that usually left us storming off to our rooms to brood over the argument which just ended where we (quietly and under our breath) would utter an occasional profanity and or comments as to the level of intelligence that our parents had or the lack there of. LOL. But my focus shifts from humor/ pay back to one of concern when these know it alls move from the stereotypical topics to ones that truly come from an area in which they have no real knowledge of except what they get online or information they receive in the form of gossip.
As a parent the one thing you know to be true is that there is no substitute for life experiences. And those experiences are things that one learns from living their life. And by the time you’re an adult, you have gained a lot in this field. Life experience gives we parents the ability to quickly sum up a situation in the amount of time it takes a know it all to ask or challenge us, we already have the answer. But in true fashion…it is wrong. LOL. We Dad’s can look at a boy and with 90% accuracy know just where his head is at, especially if it deals with girls. For example, while at the beach this summer I could clearly see when young girls were “eyeing” my son. To which I’d laugh inside and then tell him. To which his response was, “Where?!? What girl??” I’d role my eyes and keep walking. Later two girls would stop near us and the one would immediately start playing with her hair or looking around like they were eyeing a place to set up. These two girls would do this for like three days straight before my son figured it out. LOL.
Under normal circumstances this is typical behavior and the know it all is quite harmless but this behavior can become annoying and when you’re divorced…it can be a down right nuisance or detrimental to the parent child relationship. These know it all discussions usually rear their ugly heads when the divorced parents live separate but perceived unequal lives especially when it comes to personal finances. One parent usually becomes the “good guy” and the other…the “bad guy.” This in turn only gets worse when one of the parents chooses to tell the children that the other parent is somehow “holding” out on them and that parent can and should be doing more. And you know what…in some cases that’s absolutely correct. But truth be told…it’s none of the child’s business. That is clearly an adult issue.
And living in separate locations just adds to the perception. Because the children are unable to see for themselves, they are forced or at times coerced into seeing it one way. And that’s usually the way of the parent in which they spend 90% or greater with. So you then may end up defending yourself which leaves you open to a barrage of “that’s not what I heard or I know what’s true” or my favorite “because (blank) said so.” And if you choose to not respond, well then the know it alls will believe they are correct. So this becomes a catch 22 in which you simply must refer to the fact that the know it alls don’t know it all and remind them one day they too will have the vast and wonderful knowledge of a parent and then…and only then will the young “Padawan learner” become a Jedi Master. And on that day, we will sit back as Grandparents and marvel as our children call us complaining about their kids citing…children just don’t understand. LOL.
Now, I’m not saying all children but I do feel most are just out of touch with reality. They seem to think they know more than we adults when it comes to just about everything in life. I can think of numerous discussion I have had with anyone of my kids to which I’m always wrong, I don’t know what I’m talking about or I’m purposely trying to ruin their lives. I mean were we a bunch of “know it alls” like they are today? Or perhaps is it our society which has overloaded our kids with so much information that they suffer from “know it all syndrome?” Once the information has been presented to them and absorbed we have just created the dreaded creature known as the know it all. Not only does this creature know it all but it’s also smarter than you. It seemingly knows more about your life than you do and life in general than you. Problem is these creatures will literally drive you to drink because their truly is no way to fight them…cause they know it all.
And you know…some of us deserve this treatment. Especially when we think back to how we tormented our parents when we were kids. The endless discussions that usually left us storming off to our rooms to brood over the argument which just ended where we (quietly and under our breath) would utter an occasional profanity and or comments as to the level of intelligence that our parents had or the lack there of. LOL. But my focus shifts from humor/ pay back to one of concern when these know it alls move from the stereotypical topics to ones that truly come from an area in which they have no real knowledge of except what they get online or information they receive in the form of gossip.
As a parent the one thing you know to be true is that there is no substitute for life experiences. And those experiences are things that one learns from living their life. And by the time you’re an adult, you have gained a lot in this field. Life experience gives we parents the ability to quickly sum up a situation in the amount of time it takes a know it all to ask or challenge us, we already have the answer. But in true fashion…it is wrong. LOL. We Dad’s can look at a boy and with 90% accuracy know just where his head is at, especially if it deals with girls. For example, while at the beach this summer I could clearly see when young girls were “eyeing” my son. To which I’d laugh inside and then tell him. To which his response was, “Where?!? What girl??” I’d role my eyes and keep walking. Later two girls would stop near us and the one would immediately start playing with her hair or looking around like they were eyeing a place to set up. These two girls would do this for like three days straight before my son figured it out. LOL.
Under normal circumstances this is typical behavior and the know it all is quite harmless but this behavior can become annoying and when you’re divorced…it can be a down right nuisance or detrimental to the parent child relationship. These know it all discussions usually rear their ugly heads when the divorced parents live separate but perceived unequal lives especially when it comes to personal finances. One parent usually becomes the “good guy” and the other…the “bad guy.” This in turn only gets worse when one of the parents chooses to tell the children that the other parent is somehow “holding” out on them and that parent can and should be doing more. And you know what…in some cases that’s absolutely correct. But truth be told…it’s none of the child’s business. That is clearly an adult issue.
And living in separate locations just adds to the perception. Because the children are unable to see for themselves, they are forced or at times coerced into seeing it one way. And that’s usually the way of the parent in which they spend 90% or greater with. So you then may end up defending yourself which leaves you open to a barrage of “that’s not what I heard or I know what’s true” or my favorite “because (blank) said so.” And if you choose to not respond, well then the know it alls will believe they are correct. So this becomes a catch 22 in which you simply must refer to the fact that the know it alls don’t know it all and remind them one day they too will have the vast and wonderful knowledge of a parent and then…and only then will the young “Padawan learner” become a Jedi Master. And on that day, we will sit back as Grandparents and marvel as our children call us complaining about their kids citing…children just don’t understand. LOL.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Been a fast and furious few months
It’s been an interesting and long few months. In April I was blindsided with the fact that I would be changing out of my First Sergeant (1SG) position a lot earlier than planned. The BDE CSM (Brigade Command Sergeants Major) did not want to loose a SFC(P) (Sergeant First Class-Promotable) like before so he decided (without consulting we whom he’d be changing out) to start changing all of us 1SGs out since most were PCS’n (Primary Change of Station). Only issue is we were all scheduled to leave at different times and would require NCOERs (Non-Commissioned Officer Evaluation Report, our report cards). Sometimes if you just take the time to talk to someone you can create a win-win situation for all. Well…there was to be no win-win, atleast with me. I was to be the first to change out, even though I’m the last 1SG to PCS. I was to switch out in April and due to arrive at Ft Bragg in Aug. That’s 4 months; which means…I’d need another NCOER prior to moving, an NCOER of me filling in places around the unit until I moved. In essence, I would be jobless. Well I thought about it and tried to find the silver lining. My kids! With no real job I could get my kids for the summer right after they got out of school and have them back before I started “clearing” and had to get my stuff shipped to Bragg. Man…this jobless thing might not be too bad. Sounds like a plan to me.
Well any of you spent anytime in Kentucky you will have heard someone say this, “You don’t like the weather, wait five minutes and it’ll change.” Well the Army is kinda like that too. And the weather changed on me in the matters of hours. A tasking had come down months ago for us to send NCOs to Ft Bliss, TX to assist in an exercise down there. One of the NCOs on the tasking had become a 1SG. So that particular slot (along with a few others) had to be filled. Well apparently it was discussed in a meeting and some one said, “You got two Master Sergeants (MSG) up in the “3 shop” who ain’t got jobs.” That’s right sports fans…you know what comes next. That’s right me and a fellow MSG got placed on the tasking. Well my partner got taken off and I remained on it.
I was like this is some BS. I’m supposed to get my kids for the summer. Oh and the tasking was from Apr 20- Jun 16. That’s like 50 days plus! Oh and my lease will be up too and…I will be paying rent on my place and I won’t even be there. Shit…this really blows chunks. So I did like I always do…vent and then get a plan together. Because as one of my friends had mentioned, “You were talking about your money problems. Now God is helping you out. You can’t sit here and complain about how the money is gonna come back at ya.” Man…my friends can be a pain in the ass. But, she was right so I started and got myself ready to move.
I contacted my kids and told them due to commitments I would have to come and get them for my summer visit after I returned from Bliss. They were a lil unhappy but when I explained that by going to Bliss I would have more MONEY to spend on them and do things like six flags or a beach trip they were all for it. Typical kids LOL. So I executed my plan and off to Bliss I went in April. Fast forward the exercise ended for me and I got to come back much earlier than planned. Less money but I would have a lil more time to get ready to move to Bragg and the trip to Florida I had promised my kids was in full swing. Coordination was complete and the week blocked off. And I’d still have some change in my pocket. I had told my kids I would be driving to Kentucky to get them for the visit. I was tired of relying on their Mom to meet me halfway and since I had already set aside gas money I would make the call and drive all the way up and back. Ensuring our summer break took place; especially since I hadn’t seen them since fall break in Oct.
So with the plan looking pretty good and things in motion…all I needed to do was get home from Bliss and then pick up the kids for our summer adventure. But as luck would have it, it wasn’t gonna be that easy for me. My middle son called me and expressed that he wished to play football and that he might not make it down for the trip. Not something you want to hear after 7 months (missing out on graduations, dances, etc). So we went back and forth and I offered up a compromise. We’d find out what was voluntary and what was not and then I’d ensure that he was back for the mandatory. Now of course this didn’t go over well with him. And I sternly reminded him that at the end of the day it wasn’t his choice nor call. I was trying to meet his and my desires but if he wished to push the issue we could go that route but he’d loose. I told him to contact the coach and find out all the details so we could make a decision. Many of my friends feel I give my kids too much say and that I “discuss” things with them too much. And they are right. I do do that and I’m working on not doing it. So as we discussed, I contacted the head coach and spoke to him about the upcoming football season and got the rundown. I called son and not to my surprise, he hadn’t contacted and spoken to the coach as we had agreed upon. But I did and when I told him the solution he wasn’t happy at all and let me know it. Again we discussed it until I grew tired and told him we would execute the plan which was I would fly him home so he could be there for mandatory practices and as far as “training”…I would train him myself. He and his brother have been on the receiving end of a workout or two so he knows I can and would have him ready.
So I return from Bliss a few shades darker (West Texas is hot y’all) and ready for my summer. But as fate and “Murphy” (Murphy’s Law, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong) would have it…it wasn't gonna be peaceful. Prior to my departure from Bliss I awoke on the 1st of June to an email from my former spouse. I checked the time stamp and it read 00:55. Yes, 55 minutes after midnight. Why in the hell is she emailing me after midnight? Well didn’t take long for my question to be answered. One click and poof…it read, “This is to document that your child support is late again. This is the forth month in a row.” Seriously? It’s 5am, leave me the hell alone…damn. So here I am, first day back at work and my 1SG sees me and says can you come talk to me and the commander. I’m like sure but in my mind I’m like this better not be her. Yes, it was her, I hadn’t been in the building 10 minutes and she had already called 5 times citing that I was refusing to pay child support. I told the Commander, “Sir the check is in the mail.” He asked if they should document that she had contacted them and do statements since they had the court order which said she wasn’t to call them. I said you all do what you need too cause I surely will be. They informed me that she hadnt contacted them since I left and found it funny that as soon as I was back, she was calling again.
The day prior to that Jennifer actually called me and I explained to her that I had sent her a check as I do every single month so she could stop pestering me about it. Again she started with the “I got rent do, your kids will be homeless, etc” and my response was as it always is; "I pay child support for my children, I’m not concerned about your bills nor your rent. Those are your responsibilities and you should seek employment to deal with those matters, not reply on my child support to sustain your life style." Funny, for someone who made it clear they didn’t need me in their life…I can't for the life of me understand how they could still allow me to take care of them. No way in hell would I get a divorce then allow you to see that I’m not doing well. If I had to lie I’d damn sure would and let you see that I’m doing great without you and my life is better now that your out of it. Well 2 hours later I get several phone calls from my son asking me where the child support check was. Ok, how many times have I asked you kids to stay out of this? Words were exchanged and I sent them all, including their mom, a stern message citing that they were not to call me about adult matters again and if they choose to I would take legal action to which they would not like the out come. My son responded with three phone calls one in which he felt he was grown at 13, enough to curse at me and make demands that he is not in a place to enforce. I let him know he and I would have a nice face to face when I saw him to which his reply was if I had planned on doing him bodily harm. Good grief…get a grip. Now had my daughter made those comments, I would have let them roll off considering our past battles in these areas. But when my son took that route and he and I had never gone there...for me, that sent me a clear message of the future of things to come and that I in turn need to make some major decisions about my life as well as theirs.
Just days later I received a few anonymous messages from facebook one from Jennifer’s cousin and another from someone whom I hadn’t spoken to as a friend in over four years since before I left for Korea in 2008. So not knowing for sure I threw some feelers out to see if this was a fake profile or real. Well I got a call which confirmed my suspicions as to who the contact was from and what it was all about. Like I said, I was a lil surprised to be getting a call from someone I hadn’t spoke to (as a friend) in over four years. See after I returned from Korea and the craziness started many of the people I and Jennifer were friends with distanced themselves from me and acted as if I was some sort of disease. Some would speak to me, all be it brief and some what cordial but that was it. So I pretty much just kept to myself because I didn’t know what Jennifer had told them nor did anyone seem interested in the truth so I left it alone.
Well I asked him what was up and he explained he was calling about football for my middle son. I let him know I understood where he was coming from and acknowledged his concerns but when I voiced mine it seemed somewhat one sided as I got replies like, “I’m not trying to get into all that, or it’s not none of my business, etc” Ok, well if that’s what you feel, why bother contacting me? I mean there are motivations behind my actions and if you don’t have a good understanding of the story then you aren’t gonna full understand what my stance is and why I’m choosing the path I’m on. I appreciated that he called and what he had to say about my son but at the end of the day…its been four years since you have spoken to me…as a “friend.” The concern and friendship could have been best used three years ago. But hey, it is what it is.
So here I sit, days away from picking up my kids for a summer break and it’s been tainted by a few months of BS. I should be excited about seeing my kids and spending time with them but my excitement is tainted with how much time will I spend defusing their misguided anger and them understanding that’s its ok to want to spend time with their Dad and its ok to enjoy themselves with me. They shouldn’t feel any guilt at all nor should they be made to feel any guilt. Time will tell. I will take my pass and drive up to Kentucky as planned. Spend sometime working on my house in hopes that it will rent or sell and that will be one less headache I will have to deal with. I heard from my spouse and she would like for us to meet half way on Saturday at the designated meeting spot I have been trying for 6 months to link up at for the exchange. RME. Yes she knows I will already be in Radcliff but you know what…what ever man. I will just drive down behind her, link up at the spot and continue on to Georgia to start my summer vacation with my kids. I will do my best to ensure they have a good summer prior to heading back to prep for another school year.
Coming back from Texas hasn’t been all its cracked up to be but hey, it’s life and when life hands you lemons, you make sweet tea. I am thankful for my friends though. They have ensured that I haven’t done anything stupid and when I consider it, they tell me its stupid and to keep on keeping on. It’ll all come out in the wash. I know this to be true but it doesn’t change the frustration I feel about the situation. I will tell you this, you can sit and say what you would and wouldn’t do all day long but until you are actually faced with it…you just don’t know.
“Forgiveness does not always lead to a healed relationship. Some people are not capable of love, and it might be wise to let them go along with your anger. Just wish them well and take care of yourself.”
Well any of you spent anytime in Kentucky you will have heard someone say this, “You don’t like the weather, wait five minutes and it’ll change.” Well the Army is kinda like that too. And the weather changed on me in the matters of hours. A tasking had come down months ago for us to send NCOs to Ft Bliss, TX to assist in an exercise down there. One of the NCOs on the tasking had become a 1SG. So that particular slot (along with a few others) had to be filled. Well apparently it was discussed in a meeting and some one said, “You got two Master Sergeants (MSG) up in the “3 shop” who ain’t got jobs.” That’s right sports fans…you know what comes next. That’s right me and a fellow MSG got placed on the tasking. Well my partner got taken off and I remained on it.
I was like this is some BS. I’m supposed to get my kids for the summer. Oh and the tasking was from Apr 20- Jun 16. That’s like 50 days plus! Oh and my lease will be up too and…I will be paying rent on my place and I won’t even be there. Shit…this really blows chunks. So I did like I always do…vent and then get a plan together. Because as one of my friends had mentioned, “You were talking about your money problems. Now God is helping you out. You can’t sit here and complain about how the money is gonna come back at ya.” Man…my friends can be a pain in the ass. But, she was right so I started and got myself ready to move.
I contacted my kids and told them due to commitments I would have to come and get them for my summer visit after I returned from Bliss. They were a lil unhappy but when I explained that by going to Bliss I would have more MONEY to spend on them and do things like six flags or a beach trip they were all for it. Typical kids LOL. So I executed my plan and off to Bliss I went in April. Fast forward the exercise ended for me and I got to come back much earlier than planned. Less money but I would have a lil more time to get ready to move to Bragg and the trip to Florida I had promised my kids was in full swing. Coordination was complete and the week blocked off. And I’d still have some change in my pocket. I had told my kids I would be driving to Kentucky to get them for the visit. I was tired of relying on their Mom to meet me halfway and since I had already set aside gas money I would make the call and drive all the way up and back. Ensuring our summer break took place; especially since I hadn’t seen them since fall break in Oct.
So with the plan looking pretty good and things in motion…all I needed to do was get home from Bliss and then pick up the kids for our summer adventure. But as luck would have it, it wasn’t gonna be that easy for me. My middle son called me and expressed that he wished to play football and that he might not make it down for the trip. Not something you want to hear after 7 months (missing out on graduations, dances, etc). So we went back and forth and I offered up a compromise. We’d find out what was voluntary and what was not and then I’d ensure that he was back for the mandatory. Now of course this didn’t go over well with him. And I sternly reminded him that at the end of the day it wasn’t his choice nor call. I was trying to meet his and my desires but if he wished to push the issue we could go that route but he’d loose. I told him to contact the coach and find out all the details so we could make a decision. Many of my friends feel I give my kids too much say and that I “discuss” things with them too much. And they are right. I do do that and I’m working on not doing it. So as we discussed, I contacted the head coach and spoke to him about the upcoming football season and got the rundown. I called son and not to my surprise, he hadn’t contacted and spoken to the coach as we had agreed upon. But I did and when I told him the solution he wasn’t happy at all and let me know it. Again we discussed it until I grew tired and told him we would execute the plan which was I would fly him home so he could be there for mandatory practices and as far as “training”…I would train him myself. He and his brother have been on the receiving end of a workout or two so he knows I can and would have him ready.
So I return from Bliss a few shades darker (West Texas is hot y’all) and ready for my summer. But as fate and “Murphy” (Murphy’s Law, anything that can go wrong, will go wrong) would have it…it wasn't gonna be peaceful. Prior to my departure from Bliss I awoke on the 1st of June to an email from my former spouse. I checked the time stamp and it read 00:55. Yes, 55 minutes after midnight. Why in the hell is she emailing me after midnight? Well didn’t take long for my question to be answered. One click and poof…it read, “This is to document that your child support is late again. This is the forth month in a row.” Seriously? It’s 5am, leave me the hell alone…damn. So here I am, first day back at work and my 1SG sees me and says can you come talk to me and the commander. I’m like sure but in my mind I’m like this better not be her. Yes, it was her, I hadn’t been in the building 10 minutes and she had already called 5 times citing that I was refusing to pay child support. I told the Commander, “Sir the check is in the mail.” He asked if they should document that she had contacted them and do statements since they had the court order which said she wasn’t to call them. I said you all do what you need too cause I surely will be. They informed me that she hadnt contacted them since I left and found it funny that as soon as I was back, she was calling again.
The day prior to that Jennifer actually called me and I explained to her that I had sent her a check as I do every single month so she could stop pestering me about it. Again she started with the “I got rent do, your kids will be homeless, etc” and my response was as it always is; "I pay child support for my children, I’m not concerned about your bills nor your rent. Those are your responsibilities and you should seek employment to deal with those matters, not reply on my child support to sustain your life style." Funny, for someone who made it clear they didn’t need me in their life…I can't for the life of me understand how they could still allow me to take care of them. No way in hell would I get a divorce then allow you to see that I’m not doing well. If I had to lie I’d damn sure would and let you see that I’m doing great without you and my life is better now that your out of it. Well 2 hours later I get several phone calls from my son asking me where the child support check was. Ok, how many times have I asked you kids to stay out of this? Words were exchanged and I sent them all, including their mom, a stern message citing that they were not to call me about adult matters again and if they choose to I would take legal action to which they would not like the out come. My son responded with three phone calls one in which he felt he was grown at 13, enough to curse at me and make demands that he is not in a place to enforce. I let him know he and I would have a nice face to face when I saw him to which his reply was if I had planned on doing him bodily harm. Good grief…get a grip. Now had my daughter made those comments, I would have let them roll off considering our past battles in these areas. But when my son took that route and he and I had never gone there...for me, that sent me a clear message of the future of things to come and that I in turn need to make some major decisions about my life as well as theirs.
Just days later I received a few anonymous messages from facebook one from Jennifer’s cousin and another from someone whom I hadn’t spoken to as a friend in over four years since before I left for Korea in 2008. So not knowing for sure I threw some feelers out to see if this was a fake profile or real. Well I got a call which confirmed my suspicions as to who the contact was from and what it was all about. Like I said, I was a lil surprised to be getting a call from someone I hadn’t spoke to (as a friend) in over four years. See after I returned from Korea and the craziness started many of the people I and Jennifer were friends with distanced themselves from me and acted as if I was some sort of disease. Some would speak to me, all be it brief and some what cordial but that was it. So I pretty much just kept to myself because I didn’t know what Jennifer had told them nor did anyone seem interested in the truth so I left it alone.
Well I asked him what was up and he explained he was calling about football for my middle son. I let him know I understood where he was coming from and acknowledged his concerns but when I voiced mine it seemed somewhat one sided as I got replies like, “I’m not trying to get into all that, or it’s not none of my business, etc” Ok, well if that’s what you feel, why bother contacting me? I mean there are motivations behind my actions and if you don’t have a good understanding of the story then you aren’t gonna full understand what my stance is and why I’m choosing the path I’m on. I appreciated that he called and what he had to say about my son but at the end of the day…its been four years since you have spoken to me…as a “friend.” The concern and friendship could have been best used three years ago. But hey, it is what it is.
So here I sit, days away from picking up my kids for a summer break and it’s been tainted by a few months of BS. I should be excited about seeing my kids and spending time with them but my excitement is tainted with how much time will I spend defusing their misguided anger and them understanding that’s its ok to want to spend time with their Dad and its ok to enjoy themselves with me. They shouldn’t feel any guilt at all nor should they be made to feel any guilt. Time will tell. I will take my pass and drive up to Kentucky as planned. Spend sometime working on my house in hopes that it will rent or sell and that will be one less headache I will have to deal with. I heard from my spouse and she would like for us to meet half way on Saturday at the designated meeting spot I have been trying for 6 months to link up at for the exchange. RME. Yes she knows I will already be in Radcliff but you know what…what ever man. I will just drive down behind her, link up at the spot and continue on to Georgia to start my summer vacation with my kids. I will do my best to ensure they have a good summer prior to heading back to prep for another school year.
Coming back from Texas hasn’t been all its cracked up to be but hey, it’s life and when life hands you lemons, you make sweet tea. I am thankful for my friends though. They have ensured that I haven’t done anything stupid and when I consider it, they tell me its stupid and to keep on keeping on. It’ll all come out in the wash. I know this to be true but it doesn’t change the frustration I feel about the situation. I will tell you this, you can sit and say what you would and wouldn’t do all day long but until you are actually faced with it…you just don’t know.
“Forgiveness does not always lead to a healed relationship. Some people are not capable of love, and it might be wise to let them go along with your anger. Just wish them well and take care of yourself.”
Friday, May 4, 2012
Rewind...
Life, you live and you die. Seems pretty simple but it surely is not. And when you add people and or relationships…it becomes less simple and more complicated. Have you ever sat and wondered…just how you arrived at your current destination in life? No matter where you are…have you just thought, a minute here, a "no" there and my life could and or would be so very different. And then…if you had the ability to go back, knowing what you know now, would you change things. Avoid people and or things that happened and set you on your current path. Because God knows…there are some questionable people out there. Some whom have come into your life and made it better and some who have consistently only made it worse. Numerous times we sit and think to ourselves “Man, wish I could get a do over.” Hell, I know I have. Imagine the chance to go back to school and get better grades. Talk to that girl you passed on the street. Make the investment that you thought was too risky. I mean the possibilities are endless. The things we could fix if given the opportunity. Life, love, career…everything is open to a do over. Everything is eligible for a fix. But what would be the cost? And do we really, really want a do over? I’m not sure. I know I can honestly say looking back…I sure would be open to a do over.
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