“Parents Just Don’t Understand” was hit rap tune in the late 80’s by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince. The tune itself was pretty catchy in which The Fresh Prince discusses problems that a young person was going through and how his parents just simply didn’t understand what he dealing with. Many of us laughed and enjoyed the song since we all could relate to what was being said. Fast forward 20 plus years and now I’m a parent and The Fresh Prince, who’s now grown with his own family and goes by Will Smith, should do a reprise of that hit and title it “Children Just Don’t Understand.”
Now, I’m not saying all children but I do feel most are just out of touch with reality. They seem to think they know more than we adults when it comes to just about everything in life. I can think of numerous discussion I have had with anyone of my kids to which I’m always wrong, I don’t know what I’m talking about or I’m purposely trying to ruin their lives. I mean were we a bunch of “know it alls” like they are today? Or perhaps is it our society which has overloaded our kids with so much information that they suffer from “know it all syndrome?” Once the information has been presented to them and absorbed we have just created the dreaded creature known as the know it all. Not only does this creature know it all but it’s also smarter than you. It seemingly knows more about your life than you do and life in general than you. Problem is these creatures will literally drive you to drink because their truly is no way to fight them…cause they know it all.
And you know…some of us deserve this treatment. Especially when we think back to how we tormented our parents when we were kids. The endless discussions that usually left us storming off to our rooms to brood over the argument which just ended where we (quietly and under our breath) would utter an occasional profanity and or comments as to the level of intelligence that our parents had or the lack there of. LOL. But my focus shifts from humor/ pay back to one of concern when these know it alls move from the stereotypical topics to ones that truly come from an area in which they have no real knowledge of except what they get online or information they receive in the form of gossip.
As a parent the one thing you know to be true is that there is no substitute for life experiences. And those experiences are things that one learns from living their life. And by the time you’re an adult, you have gained a lot in this field. Life experience gives we parents the ability to quickly sum up a situation in the amount of time it takes a know it all to ask or challenge us, we already have the answer. But in true fashion…it is wrong. LOL. We Dad’s can look at a boy and with 90% accuracy know just where his head is at, especially if it deals with girls. For example, while at the beach this summer I could clearly see when young girls were “eyeing” my son. To which I’d laugh inside and then tell him. To which his response was, “Where?!? What girl??” I’d role my eyes and keep walking. Later two girls would stop near us and the one would immediately start playing with her hair or looking around like they were eyeing a place to set up. These two girls would do this for like three days straight before my son figured it out. LOL.
Under normal circumstances this is typical behavior and the know it all is quite harmless but this behavior can become annoying and when you’re divorced…it can be a down right nuisance or detrimental to the parent child relationship. These know it all discussions usually rear their ugly heads when the divorced parents live separate but perceived unequal lives especially when it comes to personal finances. One parent usually becomes the “good guy” and the other…the “bad guy.” This in turn only gets worse when one of the parents chooses to tell the children that the other parent is somehow “holding” out on them and that parent can and should be doing more. And you know what…in some cases that’s absolutely correct. But truth be told…it’s none of the child’s business. That is clearly an adult issue.
And living in separate locations just adds to the perception. Because the children are unable to see for themselves, they are forced or at times coerced into seeing it one way. And that’s usually the way of the parent in which they spend 90% or greater with. So you then may end up defending yourself which leaves you open to a barrage of “that’s not what I heard or I know what’s true” or my favorite “because (blank) said so.” And if you choose to not respond, well then the know it alls will believe they are correct. So this becomes a catch 22 in which you simply must refer to the fact that the know it alls don’t know it all and remind them one day they too will have the vast and wonderful knowledge of a parent and then…and only then will the young “Padawan learner” become a Jedi Master. And on that day, we will sit back as Grandparents and marvel as our children call us complaining about their kids citing…children just don’t understand. LOL.
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