It's 2012

Its 2012, another year is here and as we all know, time waits for no one. It seems that 2012 has some significance for many within our society. I have heard several times, that 2012 is going to be big. The Army says it, our government says it…change seems to be the consensus. But what is this change that many are talking about? Is their some significance? I know, according to the movies and John Cusack there is going to be crazy weather and a massive flood that will cover the Earth. Glad they made those new high-speed arks. LOL.



So…back to reality and the year that is 2012. But before we do that last recap 2011. It was a year of many ups and downs, especially for me and the Dingle children. The New Year came in and within it a new move that would take me and possibly my kids to Georgia at the end of the summer. It saw my relationship with my oldest deteriorate to no contact after he threw a party in my home while we were in SC visiting my folks. Work was work and I found myself serving as a First Sergeant again. Soon after that, I found myself in court for what would be the last of two times that I would set foot in Hardin County as a resident of KY. The biggest being that when I asked the courts to be the primary custodian. When the dust settled my former spouse was named the primary custodian. Though she made several politically correct claims of "co-parenting" it’d only take a few weeks and her true colors would show. But by that time I had already left the state and living in Alabama. The kids got to spend the remainder of the summer with me and we made the best of our few weeks together. I returned the kids to Kentucky a week shy of school starting with my life starting down here in Georgia and I’d soon find myself back in court again this time via telephone. After gaining custody, my ex-spouse decided to take me back to court seeking more of the marital assets. And when the dust settled the Judge gave her some of what she wanted with one stipulation, she had to come here to Alabama to get it. Oh…and she had 60 days to do it. To my surprise she did and it was during fall break so the best part was I got another week with my kids.


Fall break was followed by Thanksgiving and Christmas signifying the end of another year which brings us to 2012 and back to a year of change. What change will be brought in with the New Year? I’m not sure but I do know one thing; if its change you want then it is change you must seek. If its peace you wish, then you have to find it. Whether its in a book or in a church; peace just isn’t gonna drop into your lap. If it’s weight loss you crave then you won’t find it in front of a TV. You must become active and take an active roll in loosing the weight that you wish. Gym time, eating right or going to church…you do whatever it takes to meet your goal. But whatever it is you seek in 2012, it is clearly up to you to make it happen. I decided not to make a New Years resolution instead I just simply declared what it is I planned on doing for myself this year. And knowing that, set out to do exactly what it is I said I’d do. So now I move towards my goals one day at a time. Doing my best to not over extend myself nor allow my life’s journey to overwhelm me as life can do. Wake up each morning with direction and a sense of purpose. I have three readings posted at my door that I read before walking out to start my day. To me, it helps set the tone, give focus and  remind me to be good throughout the day; stay away from the negative. So 2012 is supposed to be a year of change and change we all will see. But what kinda of change…it’s clearly up to us.

Can you forgive?

 Well its Christmas time again; the time of the year for good cheer, thoughtfulness and plain ole good deeds. I am reminded everywhere I go that my kids, aren’t here with me this year. It’s the first time in their lives I’m not around for Christmas. (I don’t consider Korea and Iraq not around.) Oh and this is also the season for forgiveness.

I went on Jennifer’s wall and read her “Confessions of a Mad Divorcee.” I read them all and could only sit there and wonder what is going through her head? It takes a lot of time and energy to come up with all the things she wrote about; with 95% of it about me. Me? I had no idea after close to two years I was still that important in her life and that she’d dedicate sooo much time to telling her wall readers so much about me. But a good writer knows that you must mix fact with fiction to truly captivate an audience. And that she has…a very specific and captive audience. I have been called more names and had comments made by men and mainly women who have never actually seen me or even spoken to me.

Cyber bullying has become the hot thing now. With young people going online and talking about one another to the point where one would consider killing themselves to escape it. As with many of us adults, we don’t get it. We don’t because in our day a bully was a person whom you knew and saw every day at school. It was someone who, at the end of the day, push comes to shove you could always challenge this person to an old school fight and settle it one on one. But our kids have become detached from that world by smart phones, skyping, texting and numerous other forms of contact in which you physically don’t have to be present. In my day, a kid would call you a name to your face. You had a choice, create a snappy come back and fire it or take it and be laughed at. But we dealt with it all the same. That’s a lot harder to do online. Your audience goes from being a few people who were there to witness the witty banter to hundreds whom can reach as far as a foreign country.

  Hey, we have a thing called free speech and you got the right to say and or write whatever you want. I recall having discussions with Jennifer (always one-sided and I was always wrong) about free speech and it’s funny...she’d argue that we Americans took the free speech thing a lil too far as well as other rights we had that she felt were abused by we Americans. It’s funny now when I think back to those conversations we had. It’s funny because she now acts and displays the same attitude as those she once criticized for doing what she now enjoys. Her confessions, as I have read them aren’t really confessions. Confession: an act of confessing; especially: a disclosure of one’s sins in the sacrament of reconciliation. So when you read these “confessions” what is it you’re actually reading? Well best I gather is your reading about things that took place during our marriage, some true some exaggerated truths with fiction mixed in. That to me is a story or several short stories. So she should probably consider changing the name to “Short Stories of a Mad Divorcee.” At least it’d be an accurate title. But as it stands currently it’s simply cyber bullying. An act in which she herself has called horrible and despicable. Those that do it are just mean and hurtful people.

So yesterday I posted two of her confessions on my wall and later removed them after my daughter commented. We texted about it today and I asked her a very simple question. Does she go on her Mom’s wall and defend me to the numerous people who make comments about her Dad. Defend me to the numerous women who are tired and bitter and wish to relish in the misery which is their current lives as well as that of my former spouse. That was well over an hour ago as I type this and I never got an answer accept, “I have no business going on her wall and she’s (Jennifer) gonna write what she’s gonna write.” I choose to believe that my daughter will confront me because she knows I love her and care about her no matter what. I won’t hold my love hostage if she doesn’t “goose step” the way I say. She knows that she has freedom to maneuver with me and I will give her enough room to express herself as a young adult without crossing the line over towards disrespect. I think…no…I know my daughter wouldn’t go on her Mom’s wall and defend me for if she did, her Mom would berate her with a verbal onslaught of guilt like no one child has ever seen.

Confessions of a Mad Divorcee….hmmm…I’d have to say…is Jennifer’s latest attempt and further convincing herself and her handful of blind followers that she is where she is solely because of me. It wasn’t her fault we divorced, wasn’t her fault she got arrested, wasn’t even her fault she is where she is currently at. But she’s so happy and glad to be rid of me and have the kids back that she spends hours writing about things that took place during our marriage. Things that…without the flare for the dramatic or the embellishment wouldn’t make good reading. If a person spends all their time talking about themselves and what they do and how so many others have wronged them. What does it really say about them? I think it says…I can’t forgive and I’m unable to move on.

 I made peace with my divorce from Jennifer and I have moved on. I read her comments from time to time and I recall what the woman at JAG told me after Jennifer had called everyone in the JAG office in an attempt to be heard by the JAG herself. “You need to thank God you dodged a bullet.” I laughed because at times…that’s how I feel. I dodged a bullet. And at times…it would have been nice to part as friends. For a good part of our marriage Jennifer was a good wife and a good mother. But I think when I returned from Iraq, I discovered she’d changed while I was gone. She’d become a lil more selfish…a lil more arrogant. And after we got to Knox, she just got worse, especially after she was in school.

 Forgiveness…a simple word yet it can speak loudly at times. Webster’s defines it as: The act of forgiving. So when or if you choose forgiveness…you are forgiving. So the question then becomes, how do you forgive someone who refuses to forgive themselves or better yet, won’t allow you to forgive them? It’s an odd question you could argue but a question none the less. I have been divorced (officially) going on two years and have done many of the things you would say are typical of someone attempting to and moving on. Date, get my finances together, make peace with the loss or failure (depending on how you view it) of the marriage and lastly, forgive the other person whom you have split from. So, looking back, I’ve done a lot of those except the final one. Forgive my ex. Now some of you who know this story may ask, “Why do you need to forgive her?” or “she doesn’t deserve your forgiveness after what she put everyone through.”

 There is a quote which reads: “Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right, it makes you free.” I have sought peace between my former spouse, not just for my kid’s sake, but for our own peace of mind and to foster a relationship which is positive for both us as well as for our kids. We are linked from now until the end of time and there truly is no need to spend that time being bitter and angry, hating one another for perceived wrongs. There has to come a time when you have to take a step back and look at the big picture. Look and say, what good is coming from this? No good comes from it, no good at all. With January comes the official 2 year anniversary of my divorce and as I reflect, I realize Jennifer needs my forgiveness more than she’d ever admit. Only good can come from all this is me…choosing to forgive her for which she has done and yet to do.

It's offical...no kids for Thanksgiving

22NOV11

 In just a few days it’ll be Thanksgiving; the time of the year where we should be reflecting on all the good that has transpired within our lives as well as those of others. But this one will be a little different for me. I won’t be spending it with my children because their Mother…claims she cannot afford to meet me halfway as we have been court ordered. After three attempts I finally received a response.

The first email I sent on Oct 25^th:

Jennifer,
We need to discuss when we will be meeting. Either Wednesday or Thursday. I’d like to know which so I can make plans accordingly.

I got no response from this email.

Second email 3 NOV:

Jennifer,                                                                                                                     3 November 2011

Good afternoon and I hope this message finds you well. It is that time of the year and I am touching base with you so that we can once again coordinate for my visit. According to the school calendar, the kids are out of school starting the evening of the 22^ndand are back in school on the 28^th. I know asking for them on the 22^ndmaybe a lil much but considering the distance and the amount of time I get with them it’d be wonderful if you could meet me that evening at the half-way point. Exit 158 off of I-24 south in Tennessee is the halfway point, 250 miles for both of us. Just off that exit to the west is a huge fireworks store with a huge parking lot where we can meet. It has easy access for going north and south so it won’t be an issue for you heading back home. I know when you and Mrs. Cockran came down to acquire some of the kids things you passed it and acknowledged it in conversation that you knew and understood the location of the half-way point.
I know asking for them on the 22^ndis probably a stretch but I am asking if there is a way we can do it on that day (thus maximizing my time with them) it’d be greatly appreciated. If not the 23^rd works just as well. I just need to know what time we will link up so that I can be there at least 30 minutes prior to your arrival. I will have to take off work on the 23^rd to make this happen so if you could give me a time to meet that’d be great. I will meet you on Sunday the 27^that 1400 at the same location. The 4 hour drive time will have you back home NLT 1830 that evening. I would appreciate it if you respond promptly so that I can plan accordingly for my visit with our kids.
Also, you went to Care First, twice and incurred two bills which are in my name. Our children are covered under Tri-Care and they will not cover said bills unless they give you permission to go there. Please follow the rules set forth by Tri-Care in regards to seeking medical attention. I cannot afford to pay these two bills so I’m sending them to you and asking that you settle these since it was you whom broke the rules and incurred the bills.
Again, please contact me so that we can coordinate for my visit. Thanks and I look forward to hearing from you. Also, could you please unblock me on your cell so that we can speak phone as well as keep me up to date on school and personal matters.

Got no response either.

Third email on 20 Nov:

 Jennifer,
Thanksgiving is this week. This is my third attempt at reaching you so that we can coordinate meeting. I checked the school calendar and they are out of school on the 22nd so that's when I’d like to meet to make the exchange. If you are unable or willing to meet me then I need to know this ASAP.

This was finally responded to but it came through a mediator, one of Jennifer's friends. I guess it was too much for her to pick up a phone and call and discuss things with me.

Jerome, Jenny has responded to every one of your emails. I do not know why you are not receiving them (or acknowledging them) but here is the email she sent you last night in response to your email:
From: supermom27@yahoo.comTo: duchunter996@yahoo.comSent: Sun, Nov 20, 2011 8:30 PM CSTSubject: I have explained my situation to you. At this time I do not have $150.00 for the gas to cover 16 hours of driving for Thanksgiving. This is by no means an attempt to not follow the Custody Agreement. Kentucky State Regulations do not take into account unique situations where the parties are living so far apart. Due to your job you had to move away and it creates an awkardly unreasonable task to attempt a visit of such a short duration in addition to the enormous cost. Between the two of us (if I had the money) that would be $300.00 that could be spent on clothes and Christmas for the children. At a time when we are both struggling to get back on our feet it seems exhorbitant. I have some suggestions for a compromise; however, as again I don't have the funds available. 1)I could borrow the money from you and pay you back when I get my
Income Tax. 2)you could come here and use your home for your visit-bring ing the necessary equipment to cook your meals and at the same time work with your Realtor as Romy said you are Renting your home out or 3) Have the kids for Spring Break which at that time I will be better off Financially and it's for a longer visit at a great time of year. I am trying to find a solution and be fair but, again, visitation is going to have to require some type of cooperative modification at times due to the distance.Next year you will be even further so I feel we will have to work together to work things out at times so the kids get to see you and they don't worry. Let me know how you would like to handle this.

I responded…..

Jennifer,
I received your email via Dee's FB. Not sure why you could not have done that or simply called me. I have asked you numerous times to please unblock me so that we could communicate on the phone.
As far as things go...the courts did make amendments, they said we have to split the cost of transportation because I'm so far away and you were given primary custody. Your claims of not having the money...though I feel your pain, it’s not my problem. If you are unable to do your part, whether it’s financially or unwillingly then the solution to me is simple...give me primary custody and I will ensure you get kids for visitation.
You are unemployed for whatever reason and that too isn't my concern. I have gone above and beyond...doing my part, can you say the same? It cost me $500 to bring the kids home and that's because I drove a truck trying to be nice to you bringing things that you were unable to take with you.
You waiting until today to ensure I got your email when I have written three times starting a month ago is suspect at best. Your offer of spring break is nice but that's 4 months away. And as you have said, with me being this far you should be more than willing to let me have spring break not offer it up because you’re not gonna meet me halfway as court ordered.
So you do as you always do and enjoy the kids for thanksgiving and x-mas. The clock is ticking.

And as usual, Jennifer's responded:

Also-Do you realise that because of your DVO I have been turned down for jobs? Because you lied about being afraid of me? I cannot pass certain background checks. And you DID know this. You knew that in my field I cannot have anything Domestic against me. And you did affect my ability to be employed. So did your Attorney. You defamed my character and I received a charge against me that is used against me. This is why I am so
confident in filing a Civil Suit against you. On top of all your lying Blogging about me.And? I will win for you and your Attorney affecting my ability to earn a living (also a Constitutional Violation). So-I DON'T have $150.00 due to all your deceipt and lying. So? The clock is ticking and you will be sued. By me. By that time? The kids will be almost grown and you can't hurt any of us ever again. Tick Tock.

 Man, does my ex-wife have some brass balls or what? Borrowing $300 from me so that I can see my own kids? Wait, don’t I pay the insurance, registration and car payment? No...I’m not spotting you the money. Not only is she telling me she not going to meet me halfway but she’s telling me to drive 18 hours as she keeps saying, load my car up with pots, pans, etc., etc. so that I can cook thanksgiving dinner in a house I don’t live in. I’m supposing I should just toss the dining room table and chairs on the roof so we have someplace to eat this meal imaginary. $300 in gas which could be spent on the kids X-mas gifts she says. Helloooo, I’m paying you $1391.00 in child support plus your pay check from your job. Oh, that’s right, you’re not working maybe if you were working it wouldn’t be a financial strain. Then, offer me Spring Break in exchange. As if she’s now doing me a favor. I’m 7 hours away and you have the kids full time, the least you can do is allow me to have as much time (thanksgiving and X-mas excluded) with the kids that’s reasonably allowed. I could understand if her work hours conflicted and I had to drive all the way there and get them and she’d drive all the way here to take them home. That’s doable; it’s still 50% of travel. That’s reasonable and fair in my eyes. And once again, it's my fault she has no job. It was her that forced me to obtain a DVO and now it’s my fault. That’s laughable, bout as laughable as her trying to sue me for defaming her character. But that’s cool, you don’t wanna play ball with me that’s fine. That hour glass I have with the sands of time in it…it’s running out.

 Oh and yeah, if you haven’t figured it out yet…I’m pissed!!



P.S. I later recieved two more messages from her. I saw no point in responding.

Second email of the evening:

This is hilarious. If I can 'receive' your e-mails from "duchunter996@yahoo.com" then why are you claiming I'm not responding? Hilarious. And? I have an e-mail explicitly requesting this is the address I need to send all correspondance to. But NICE try. I have ISP responses that You received them. You're turning out to be a Horrible Liar. Lol. You know-Derrick and I have had a wonderful laugh on your attempt to make me "Look" "Bad" and make me "look" like I'm NOT "Co-parenting" and I'm not trying to "Compromise". Why? Because over the last Decade we work TOGETHER. Period. And? He is willing-after all the abuse you dished out on HIS Son to TESTIFY that him and I have NO problems working together. That I am amenable. So-I hope your Clock is still "TICKING". Give me a BREAK with your Closet Homo DRAMA. You could have seen your kids this weekend for (What a GAY way to put it) "Turkey Day" but you would not be flexible or reasonable. Your problem. Tick Tock.

Third email:

And when we sit in Court-it will be in North Carolina where I will File Suit AGAINST you- I pray-and the Lord is answering ALL my Prayers-That you will be exposed for being a Hateful Person-I pray on the LORD I see some JUSTICE. If not? Then pray for yourself. Because you are going DIRECTLY to HELL. God DON'T like UGLY. And YOU have been JUDGED. It's ok-though-you can meet your "excuse" for a "Father" there and your Sister the "Adulterous" one in the "family"-oh-I forgot! Your Mother will be there too! She supported all of this HATRED. Have a GOoooD Time in HELL. Tick TOCK.

Thanksgiving is coming

4Nov11

  That’s right, its November and one month away from this wild and crazy year being over. It’s been full of highs and lows but it’s been quite the ride. Last month started out great and my kids, whom I had not seen since I took them home the end of July, were here for a whole week for their fall break. I felt like a kid at Christmas time knowing they were coming down. They have all grown and looked really good. I didn’t know they had arrived and pulled up outside the house until the boy’s walked in the front door. LOL. Jennifer had brought them since I was court ordered to give her some of the marital property that she neglected to take with her when she got her own place back in May2010 after our divorce was final and the living arrangement ended. Kind of a two fer…she came to get her stuff and I got the kids for a visit as a result. I mean seriously…who waits until after they are divorced for over a year and then goes back to court seeking more martial property. But it was only things she wanted. I honored the court order and spent the week prior prepping for that Monday. I had all the items that she was awarded as well as items the kids asked me to let them take i.e. Madison’s bed, dressers and a few odd items. They arrived with a mini-van and a small trailer; barely large enough for a motorcycle. I had spoken with two of my NCOs and asked if they would help her load up. My plan was a simple one; they would arrive, I’d let the kids download their stuff in the house and then I’d take them to hang out and get dinner so as not to be around Jennifer and the neighbor while they loaded up. Well…that didn’t happen. So I was kind and respectful to them both while she went through boxes and pulled what she wanted out leaving somewhat of a mess left for me to clean up. It was cool, I just wanted her to take her things and be done with it. She asked for an equitable split…funny thing is that split didn’t include all the bills I took because I knew she’d never give me her half of the money for the bills so I opted to take them all. Well, they loaded up and I led them back out to the interstate. So it makes you wonder…had she not come for the items (She was driven down by our former neighbor across the street) would she have met me halfway as I had been asking? That’s one question I will not be able to answer at this time.  Me and the kids hit Barnes & Noble (Moo wanted a book) and then on to Cheddar’s where we had a great dinner catching up and what not. The week went well. Me and the kids hung out…just like old times. Jennifer called them what seemed like constantly. Which led to her asking for me…constantly; but to my surprise she was very nice, civil…asking me for favors. I was like, well as long as you’re nice, hell I got no issue doing you a solid. I let her know that I had established an allotment for the child support and it would go directly to her bank account starting in November.

Jeff was up with me every morning going to PT and Moo and Rome did their thing until I got home. Last day of the week Rome came to work and Jeff stayed home. The weekend we would be going to the Aquarium in Atlanta. That…was cool.  We spent the afternoon up there walking around looking at the fish and then came home for a nice dinner. It would be the last since I had to take them to meet Jennifer so they could go home. Sunday I got a surprise for Jennifer, I had coordinated so that I could take her the remaining items she wasn’t able to take with her the first time. I got a call from her around 1000 saying that she wasn’t able to meet me at the halfway mark and that I needed to bring the kids all the way to KY.  That’s, information I would have liked to have the day prior not the day of. It wasn’t an issue of taking them home but more of I could have loaded the truck and been on my way hours prior too. No matter, we adjusted and got on the road. We got to KY around 2000 and pulled up to Jennifer’s place. She came out and I was like, just unload and get going. Well it was clear she was in a “good” mood and so I was hoping there wouldn’t be any trouble. I had let her know that I had the majority of the stuff and that she was going to need help unloading it all. No one was there to help her unload so that task fell on me and the kids. Kerry was with us and came along to help me drive up and back. Jennifer was all smiles and since she was in a “good” mood wanted to chat. I started unloading and the kids started taking things in the house. I wanted to avoid going in but it got to the bulky items and I and Rome had to take them in. Glad Kerry was there with me cause the last time I tried to pick up an item from Jennifer she called the cops and I got a summons for trespassing. At one point it was just Jennifer and I outside and she proceeded to talk to me. She just kept on talking, telling me she loved me and how we needed to get along. We had been married for 13 years and we just had to get along. I attested most of it to her “good” mood and smiled on the inside. It was simply odd and uncomfortable. But she kept talking about how we needed to work together and how are their parents. She even said that I shouldn’t be dating and that she wasn’t gonna date…ever. I told her that was nice and she should do what made her happy. Funniest thing was when she said Kerry was a floozy. I laughed…who uses that word…straight outta the 40’s LOL.

 Then the shocker…she asked for a hug. A hug!?! You’re joking? Court, the threats, so much bad blood between us over nothing really and you’re asking for a hug? I was taking back and didn’t really know just how to react. I know Kerry could hear her requests and I myself had been pushing for civility between us since this started so I guess I had no choice. I stood up looked down at her and said sure as I thrusted my arms forward. She walked towards me and we embraced…I gave her a hug as she had been asking; weirdest feeling ever.  LOL. I later realized that that was the first physical contact I had with Jennifer since July of 2008. After the hug, the kids and I preceded to unload the truck and get the items into her place. I helped Madison with her bed and the boys with the TV. The townhome was small and seemed very cramp and much too small for all of them and their stuff. But they had made their choice and I had to respect that and support them. So as we finished up I said my good byes and headed back outside. I told them I loved them and couldn’t wait to see them come thanksgiving. Jennifer asked if I would come up for thanksgiving instead of the kids coming south. You know how some folks get when they are in a “good” mood…all lovey dovey and what not. LOL. So I told her that I didn’t think so but she was more than welcome to come spend it with us in Alabama. She again asked for another hug and since we were in front of the kids, couldn’t exactly say no so…I gave her hug number two. LOL. She even gave Kerry a hug and said we all had to get along for the sake of the kids. Of course she had to get a dig or two in before we left. She asked if I was gonna screw a relationship up with Kerry as I did with her and Mary. I shrugged it off smile and gave the kids all one last hug.

 Jeff usually takes the separations the hardest so I had to chat him up a lil before we left. We swung by the house, grabbed my washer and dryer and were about to head south when Jennifer called…again. Jeff was a lil upset and she wanted me to come by. So we stopped back by and I spoke to Jeff one more time before heading home. So I left thinking…maybe Jennifer has decided to work together as she said. Maybe it wasn’t her being in a “good” mood. Well I figured I would enjoy the civility as long as it was going to last.

 A few weeks ago I was contacted by Jennifer about an immigration issue. To this day I really have no idea what it is she wants or needed. I was stone cold sleeping when she called and woke me up asking how come I hadn’t responded to her email. I tried to explain to her I was sleeping but she again, was in a “good” mood and ignored my requests for information and kept talking over me. She spoke until she said, “if you don’t…I will call your command and tell them.” Ok, pump your breaks kid…I got no clue what you’re asking but now you’re making demands and gonna call my “unit?”  Ummmm now you’re about to get a dial tone. LOL. Each time she’d call back and refuse to tell me what she wanted, yelling and hollering…I hung up. Rome called me and he was trying to explain until she took the phone and started yelling at me. So again…dial tone. It’s been weeks, and I still have no idea what that late night call about immigration was about. Oh well, must not have been that important. And then it hit me, the woman who was sooo nice and civil to me had gone and in her place, was the woman I had been dealing with for the past two years. She is back to blaming everyone else for her current situation. I mean at what point do you, as an adult take responsibility, get a job and live your life. And I can’t for the life of me figure out how come none of her friends ever seem to ask her that themselves. None seem to be able to ask Jennifer anything or point out the obvious. You wanted him out of your life…got it, wanted him to pay child support…got it, wanted to be a single mom…got it, wanted a car you don’t have to pay for…got it, wanted to be free from him and his craziness…got it. She now has everything she asked for and told others she wanted she should be very happy…yet she still won’t move on. They should point her in a direction she has the ability to prosper and do well. That’s what friends are supposed to do. I just wonder how come her friends don’t do this. Jay’s out of your life…move on.

 So that bring us to today…Thanksgiving is approaching and I can’t wait to see the kids and share thanksgiving with them. It sucks being away from them but getting to spend holidays and such makes up for it. It would be nice if we had the ability to all sit at a table for special occasions and but it seems right now…that just isn’t possible. It makes me wonder if Jennifer and I will ever be able to so coexist. I’ve emailed her twice, trying to coordinate for Thanksgiving. But I will be patient and wait for her to respond. Hopefully she doesn’t wait until the 22^nd to answer me. And at what point do I finally give up and stop trying. I don’t know…maybe when I stop believing that she can change.

Very interesting

A while back there was an article featuring a Kelli Marvin, a University of Louisville psychologist whose job  is to evaluate a parent’s mental health and determine whether he or she is capable of responsibly caring for a their kids. Dr. Marvin’s role as the only forensic examiner for the state Cabinet for Health and Family Services ; is to provide factual information to the judge based on clinical standards she has learned. the story wasn't about me nor my family but I was contacted since they were going to mention my case which the good Dr worked on. Well with any article on line there is room for comments at the bottom of the page. Some folks commented at the bottom and this was one of those comments.

JHHSFAN

8:01 PM on August 30, 2011

What was left out of this article was the fact that Ms.Dingle isnt from the United States and went around ranting and raving about how poorly this country is and how the state of Ky was out to get her. Theres's no mention of her REPEATED drunkeness around her kids IN PUBLIC ( school football games and school functions). I dont know this "psychologist" inteviewed about Ms. Dingle but she sure didnt ask any JHHS parents here in Radcliff about her malicious behavior!!! These kids should be with thier father in Ft Benning GA.

All I can say is..wow.

Let's chit chat...

 This morning I had a length conversation with an old friend from college. We talked about everything under the sun as we got caught up on each other’s lives since our last talk. As with all of us human beings, we all have things in common. The one thing I feel we all have had to deal with or have in common are relationships.

 Relationships seem to span not only gender but race, color, social status, geographic location, you name it. They are truly universal. So as me and my buddy chatted up and focused on relationships we shared with each other our opinions, success as well as failures. Until I made one statement; “Why do we…at times settle for a partner? I mean think about it…when you shop for a big screen TV, do you buy the first one you see? No. It’s funny. We will spend hours and weeks searching for the TV we want yet we won’t do that when we are looking for someone.” And with that, the philosophical discuss began. We get into relationships and there are times we over look items because of whatever or rational is. But then when the relationship goes sour, we look to outside forces as potential reasons for the demise of the relationship when truth be told, we probably knew it was doomed from the start. We just thought we could over look things. In short you realize you compromised or settled. We used the “80/20” rule. Where if your partner has 80% of what you want, you should over look the other 20. Personally I think that is redonkulous. When was the last time you bought something and got just want you wanted? Often I am willing to bet.

 How or bet yet…how come we don’t treat relationships like we do items we buy at the store. How many times have you decided you wanted something and waited until it was available before purchasing it? I mean cars…how many times have you said I won’t get it until I can afford it the way I want it. I mean we tend to settle in what appears to be the most important area and yet will not in the least. Hell, we all have cars, TVs and numerous other items that we purchased that have outlasted relationships. And I’m sure we didn’t settle for the things we bought; we bought what we wanted.

 So as me and my bud continued we threw out different analogies but one seemed to really hit home. Ask yourself, how come we buy what we want and we don’t settle when we have to spend our hard earned money but with our hearts…we are damn near retarded?

Summer has ended...unoffically

 Been a hot minute since I wrote about life in good ole GA/AL. Yep…decided to live off post instead of on Post like I originally planned. But life is good. Finally got court out of the way last month so Jennifer will not be calling down here anymore; actually had to file a restraining order. Court was interesting…did it over the phone of all places. Prior to court, my attorney contacted me and read me all the things that Jennifer was petitioning the court for. Some of it I fully expected but some of it…I had to laugh. Our agreement/settlement was clear when it came to the furniture. It clearly states that if we can not agree who gets what then we have to go back before the judge and allow the court to decide. Jennifer’s lawyer tried to make me out to be this monster that simply TOOK it all leaving her with nothing. Well the email and letter I sent her in May of 2010 was a nice touch; especially when I quoted the agreement. But the kicker is when Jennifer was testifying my attorney asked her if she got and read the email. She said YES. But as per her standard response to anything that deals with talking to me she quickly added that she would not respond because she feared I’d have her arrested. I mean come on…how many times is that one gonna fly? Well I went and as I said, her lawyer tried to make me out to be the guy that stole it all and left the poor lil lady with nothing. I made it clear I made several attempts to divide the furniture yet she took what she wanted and never bothered to discuss with me the items she took.

 She asked for all of the kid’s things, to include trophies and certificates, cloths, beds, dressers, you name it. But you have to ask yourself, as a parent, how come she didn’t take all that stuff when she left? How come she didn’t find a place that was large enough to house her and the kids? She knew she had shared custody…why not get a place big enough? How come she has waited a year and a half to no ask for more furniture? She could have split it up like I asked and placed it into storage.

 So when the dust settled…it was on the judge. He did clear up the child support. I will be paying $1391.11 a month starting in October based on both our salaries. How that works not sure with her, as far as I know currently unemployed. That day in court, she told the judge that she had a job lined up but just needed to wait until court was done because it was my fault she had lost her two former jobs due to the fact that I had taken her to court sooo many times prior to this. She also said how the kids would all be back in sports and what not. But also said it was on me to ensure I knew what was going on with them in their lives as well as school. Thats right sports fans...I was not to contact her about any and all issues concerning school. I was to contact my children if I wanted that information. 

 Two months later, they aren’t in sports, I guess it’s ok that they aren’t. But I call and text them almost daily. Moo actually sent me an I love you back which I of course saved on my phone. Everyone asks how they are doing and as far as I know they are well. I don’t ask about their Mom or what she is or isn’t doing. I honestly don’t care. I care that they are doing well and adjusting to their current living condition.

 The judge made his ruling and he gave her all of her personal belongings that she left with me when she left. He also gave her our deep freezer and the kitchen table and chairs. So yet again…she got what she asked for. Yet, she still isn’t happy. How come? Oh, the judge agreed that she should be responsible for getting all the items. Translates to she must come here to Alabama and pick up all the items. I informed her that I would have all items ready for shipment to her this weekend and I just wanted to know when she’d be coming to get them. I even told her since the kids were coming down for fall break and we had to make the exchange (Judge ordered all travel to be 50% so she must meet me halfway) I was willing to bring items with me for both exchanges since I acknowledged that she was financially strapped.

 How was I repaid, more calls down here to my unit saying things like she has been published on the front page of the newspaper and that I have defrauded the taxpayers. She is unable to pay the cost since I have not paid her the BAH. I mean seriously?

I got a call from JAG yesterday and it was explained and made clear to me just how many times she has called down here to their offices as well as the half-truths and lies she has told in order to get someone’s attention for her complaint. Problem is when they check into it they soon find out all the information that she has excluded.  So…my journey continues…and with it the hope that one day this will all cease.