Thanksgiving is coming

4Nov11

  That’s right, its November and one month away from this wild and crazy year being over. It’s been full of highs and lows but it’s been quite the ride. Last month started out great and my kids, whom I had not seen since I took them home the end of July, were here for a whole week for their fall break. I felt like a kid at Christmas time knowing they were coming down. They have all grown and looked really good. I didn’t know they had arrived and pulled up outside the house until the boy’s walked in the front door. LOL. Jennifer had brought them since I was court ordered to give her some of the marital property that she neglected to take with her when she got her own place back in May2010 after our divorce was final and the living arrangement ended. Kind of a two fer…she came to get her stuff and I got the kids for a visit as a result. I mean seriously…who waits until after they are divorced for over a year and then goes back to court seeking more martial property. But it was only things she wanted. I honored the court order and spent the week prior prepping for that Monday. I had all the items that she was awarded as well as items the kids asked me to let them take i.e. Madison’s bed, dressers and a few odd items. They arrived with a mini-van and a small trailer; barely large enough for a motorcycle. I had spoken with two of my NCOs and asked if they would help her load up. My plan was a simple one; they would arrive, I’d let the kids download their stuff in the house and then I’d take them to hang out and get dinner so as not to be around Jennifer and the neighbor while they loaded up. Well…that didn’t happen. So I was kind and respectful to them both while she went through boxes and pulled what she wanted out leaving somewhat of a mess left for me to clean up. It was cool, I just wanted her to take her things and be done with it. She asked for an equitable split…funny thing is that split didn’t include all the bills I took because I knew she’d never give me her half of the money for the bills so I opted to take them all. Well, they loaded up and I led them back out to the interstate. So it makes you wonder…had she not come for the items (She was driven down by our former neighbor across the street) would she have met me halfway as I had been asking? That’s one question I will not be able to answer at this time.  Me and the kids hit Barnes & Noble (Moo wanted a book) and then on to Cheddar’s where we had a great dinner catching up and what not. The week went well. Me and the kids hung out…just like old times. Jennifer called them what seemed like constantly. Which led to her asking for me…constantly; but to my surprise she was very nice, civil…asking me for favors. I was like, well as long as you’re nice, hell I got no issue doing you a solid. I let her know that I had established an allotment for the child support and it would go directly to her bank account starting in November.

Jeff was up with me every morning going to PT and Moo and Rome did their thing until I got home. Last day of the week Rome came to work and Jeff stayed home. The weekend we would be going to the Aquarium in Atlanta. That…was cool.  We spent the afternoon up there walking around looking at the fish and then came home for a nice dinner. It would be the last since I had to take them to meet Jennifer so they could go home. Sunday I got a surprise for Jennifer, I had coordinated so that I could take her the remaining items she wasn’t able to take with her the first time. I got a call from her around 1000 saying that she wasn’t able to meet me at the halfway mark and that I needed to bring the kids all the way to KY.  That’s, information I would have liked to have the day prior not the day of. It wasn’t an issue of taking them home but more of I could have loaded the truck and been on my way hours prior too. No matter, we adjusted and got on the road. We got to KY around 2000 and pulled up to Jennifer’s place. She came out and I was like, just unload and get going. Well it was clear she was in a “good” mood and so I was hoping there wouldn’t be any trouble. I had let her know that I had the majority of the stuff and that she was going to need help unloading it all. No one was there to help her unload so that task fell on me and the kids. Kerry was with us and came along to help me drive up and back. Jennifer was all smiles and since she was in a “good” mood wanted to chat. I started unloading and the kids started taking things in the house. I wanted to avoid going in but it got to the bulky items and I and Rome had to take them in. Glad Kerry was there with me cause the last time I tried to pick up an item from Jennifer she called the cops and I got a summons for trespassing. At one point it was just Jennifer and I outside and she proceeded to talk to me. She just kept on talking, telling me she loved me and how we needed to get along. We had been married for 13 years and we just had to get along. I attested most of it to her “good” mood and smiled on the inside. It was simply odd and uncomfortable. But she kept talking about how we needed to work together and how are their parents. She even said that I shouldn’t be dating and that she wasn’t gonna date…ever. I told her that was nice and she should do what made her happy. Funniest thing was when she said Kerry was a floozy. I laughed…who uses that word…straight outta the 40’s LOL.

 Then the shocker…she asked for a hug. A hug!?! You’re joking? Court, the threats, so much bad blood between us over nothing really and you’re asking for a hug? I was taking back and didn’t really know just how to react. I know Kerry could hear her requests and I myself had been pushing for civility between us since this started so I guess I had no choice. I stood up looked down at her and said sure as I thrusted my arms forward. She walked towards me and we embraced…I gave her a hug as she had been asking; weirdest feeling ever.  LOL. I later realized that that was the first physical contact I had with Jennifer since July of 2008. After the hug, the kids and I preceded to unload the truck and get the items into her place. I helped Madison with her bed and the boys with the TV. The townhome was small and seemed very cramp and much too small for all of them and their stuff. But they had made their choice and I had to respect that and support them. So as we finished up I said my good byes and headed back outside. I told them I loved them and couldn’t wait to see them come thanksgiving. Jennifer asked if I would come up for thanksgiving instead of the kids coming south. You know how some folks get when they are in a “good” mood…all lovey dovey and what not. LOL. So I told her that I didn’t think so but she was more than welcome to come spend it with us in Alabama. She again asked for another hug and since we were in front of the kids, couldn’t exactly say no so…I gave her hug number two. LOL. She even gave Kerry a hug and said we all had to get along for the sake of the kids. Of course she had to get a dig or two in before we left. She asked if I was gonna screw a relationship up with Kerry as I did with her and Mary. I shrugged it off smile and gave the kids all one last hug.

 Jeff usually takes the separations the hardest so I had to chat him up a lil before we left. We swung by the house, grabbed my washer and dryer and were about to head south when Jennifer called…again. Jeff was a lil upset and she wanted me to come by. So we stopped back by and I spoke to Jeff one more time before heading home. So I left thinking…maybe Jennifer has decided to work together as she said. Maybe it wasn’t her being in a “good” mood. Well I figured I would enjoy the civility as long as it was going to last.

 A few weeks ago I was contacted by Jennifer about an immigration issue. To this day I really have no idea what it is she wants or needed. I was stone cold sleeping when she called and woke me up asking how come I hadn’t responded to her email. I tried to explain to her I was sleeping but she again, was in a “good” mood and ignored my requests for information and kept talking over me. She spoke until she said, “if you don’t…I will call your command and tell them.” Ok, pump your breaks kid…I got no clue what you’re asking but now you’re making demands and gonna call my “unit?”  Ummmm now you’re about to get a dial tone. LOL. Each time she’d call back and refuse to tell me what she wanted, yelling and hollering…I hung up. Rome called me and he was trying to explain until she took the phone and started yelling at me. So again…dial tone. It’s been weeks, and I still have no idea what that late night call about immigration was about. Oh well, must not have been that important. And then it hit me, the woman who was sooo nice and civil to me had gone and in her place, was the woman I had been dealing with for the past two years. She is back to blaming everyone else for her current situation. I mean at what point do you, as an adult take responsibility, get a job and live your life. And I can’t for the life of me figure out how come none of her friends ever seem to ask her that themselves. None seem to be able to ask Jennifer anything or point out the obvious. You wanted him out of your life…got it, wanted him to pay child support…got it, wanted to be a single mom…got it, wanted a car you don’t have to pay for…got it, wanted to be free from him and his craziness…got it. She now has everything she asked for and told others she wanted she should be very happy…yet she still won’t move on. They should point her in a direction she has the ability to prosper and do well. That’s what friends are supposed to do. I just wonder how come her friends don’t do this. Jay’s out of your life…move on.

 So that bring us to today…Thanksgiving is approaching and I can’t wait to see the kids and share thanksgiving with them. It sucks being away from them but getting to spend holidays and such makes up for it. It would be nice if we had the ability to all sit at a table for special occasions and but it seems right now…that just isn’t possible. It makes me wonder if Jennifer and I will ever be able to so coexist. I’ve emailed her twice, trying to coordinate for Thanksgiving. But I will be patient and wait for her to respond. Hopefully she doesn’t wait until the 22^nd to answer me. And at what point do I finally give up and stop trying. I don’t know…maybe when I stop believing that she can change.