Who You Are

In February 1987 a young 17 year old made a choice that would forever change the course of his life. He raised his right hand, took an oath and never once looked back. In the span of those 24 years I have met, befriended and worked for a lot of folks; some good, some bad and some downright horrible. But somehow I have managed to hold onto something that my father gave me…Integrity.

Integrity, Merriam-Webster’s defines it as a 1: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values 2: an unimpaired condition 3: the quality or state of being complete or undivided. People speak and use all these great buzz words: professionalism, loyalty, respect…I could go on and on. But you know something, if you’re not gonna follow them then truly…what is the point. Exactly, there really is no point. Many spend their lives…day to day just living. Doing things that they feel are right for them at that exact moment or when it suits them. So I will ask you…what’s the point? What is the point in doing the right thing some of the time or when it’s convenient but when the preverbal road gets rough we buckle, look the other way and choose to follow the other path. The path which is paved with a smooth surface because God forbid we actually take the hard road where you will actually be uncomfortable and those words you throw around and your character will truly be tested.

Day in and day out we find ourselves in situations. Some which can have dire consequences. But it’s how we handle ourselves during these times that speak volumes. In almost every act of life you will find yourself someplace or dealing with an issue that you may not wish to. But you will have to deal with it because as we love to say…that’s life. Those buzz words I spoke of…how many do you follow? How many do you half ass follow? How many do you simply not follow at all? Those are questions you and only you can answer and the answers can be found in the mirror when you look at yourself.  We as humans are inherently flawed. We were born flawed and we’ll die flawed. And once we are dead…how will we be remembered? Your legacy…what and those you leave behind will be the answer to that.

I like to talk about the military because we are a unique institution. No other place on Earth can you put sooo many different people, of various backgrounds, ethnicities, values, attitudes beliefs…throw them all together and watch them work, grow, learn and at times change one another; hopefully for the good. How many of you have heard of someone who joined the military and did not like someone of a different ethnicity? But after a few years you could see this person learn, bond and grow. Accepting that other ethnicity and changing themselves for the better. But this being a huge culture you also come across those that…you find yourself questioning from time to time. Their actions are and can be incongruent with their words.

I like 99% of the people on this planet know what’s right from wrong. And like those 99% I do operate in that gray area we can find ourselves in from time to time. So yes, I bend the rules and I too break them when I feel it’s necessary or it goes against what I fundamentally feel is wrong. I pick and choose my battles. But there are simply some things I see in black and white and I don’t allow nor look for the gray area. I won’t compromise and if cornered...I’ll fight you like a Wolverine. So when you question my integrity…I will fight you. I will attack you as well as your character. I will clearly point out where you are flawed and how you yourself don’t follow the words you choose to preach every day. So I humbly ask that before you start this crusade, you make sure you are ready for the fight in which you will undoubtedly find yourself in because you may find me standing in front of you with that mirror. Letting you look at yourself as you speak those words. Hoping you don’t choke on some of them. Don’t tell someone you care if you have heartedly do. Because I can guarantee that you will be asked to show you care and if you can’t…then you have clearly lost faith and respect.  Don’t brag about being supportive and when it’s time to support, you crumble and shift focus and or blame elsewhere.

Over the years I have pissed a lot of folks off because I choose to do my job my way and not how they envisioned it. I’ve been thrown under the bus and had the bus backed up over me and as I laid there watching the bus drive away with my career and future I smiled and waved good bye. Because I had my pocket mirror in my hand and as I glanced at my smile…I liked what I saw. I saw me…maintaining who I am and looking at my father knowing he got it right. I know one day I will leave this Earth and you know…I’m good with it. All I know is…I simply want to be remembered as a fair guy who truly gave a damn.