Very interesting

A while back there was an article featuring a Kelli Marvin, a University of Louisville psychologist whose job  is to evaluate a parent’s mental health and determine whether he or she is capable of responsibly caring for a their kids. Dr. Marvin’s role as the only forensic examiner for the state Cabinet for Health and Family Services ; is to provide factual information to the judge based on clinical standards she has learned. the story wasn't about me nor my family but I was contacted since they were going to mention my case which the good Dr worked on. Well with any article on line there is room for comments at the bottom of the page. Some folks commented at the bottom and this was one of those comments.

JHHSFAN

8:01 PM on August 30, 2011

What was left out of this article was the fact that Ms.Dingle isnt from the United States and went around ranting and raving about how poorly this country is and how the state of Ky was out to get her. Theres's no mention of her REPEATED drunkeness around her kids IN PUBLIC ( school football games and school functions). I dont know this "psychologist" inteviewed about Ms. Dingle but she sure didnt ask any JHHS parents here in Radcliff about her malicious behavior!!! These kids should be with thier father in Ft Benning GA.

All I can say is..wow.

Let's chit chat...

 This morning I had a length conversation with an old friend from college. We talked about everything under the sun as we got caught up on each other’s lives since our last talk. As with all of us human beings, we all have things in common. The one thing I feel we all have had to deal with or have in common are relationships.

 Relationships seem to span not only gender but race, color, social status, geographic location, you name it. They are truly universal. So as me and my buddy chatted up and focused on relationships we shared with each other our opinions, success as well as failures. Until I made one statement; “Why do we…at times settle for a partner? I mean think about it…when you shop for a big screen TV, do you buy the first one you see? No. It’s funny. We will spend hours and weeks searching for the TV we want yet we won’t do that when we are looking for someone.” And with that, the philosophical discuss began. We get into relationships and there are times we over look items because of whatever or rational is. But then when the relationship goes sour, we look to outside forces as potential reasons for the demise of the relationship when truth be told, we probably knew it was doomed from the start. We just thought we could over look things. In short you realize you compromised or settled. We used the “80/20” rule. Where if your partner has 80% of what you want, you should over look the other 20. Personally I think that is redonkulous. When was the last time you bought something and got just want you wanted? Often I am willing to bet.

 How or bet yet…how come we don’t treat relationships like we do items we buy at the store. How many times have you decided you wanted something and waited until it was available before purchasing it? I mean cars…how many times have you said I won’t get it until I can afford it the way I want it. I mean we tend to settle in what appears to be the most important area and yet will not in the least. Hell, we all have cars, TVs and numerous other items that we purchased that have outlasted relationships. And I’m sure we didn’t settle for the things we bought; we bought what we wanted.

 So as me and my bud continued we threw out different analogies but one seemed to really hit home. Ask yourself, how come we buy what we want and we don’t settle when we have to spend our hard earned money but with our hearts…we are damn near retarded?

Summer has ended...unoffically

 Been a hot minute since I wrote about life in good ole GA/AL. Yep…decided to live off post instead of on Post like I originally planned. But life is good. Finally got court out of the way last month so Jennifer will not be calling down here anymore; actually had to file a restraining order. Court was interesting…did it over the phone of all places. Prior to court, my attorney contacted me and read me all the things that Jennifer was petitioning the court for. Some of it I fully expected but some of it…I had to laugh. Our agreement/settlement was clear when it came to the furniture. It clearly states that if we can not agree who gets what then we have to go back before the judge and allow the court to decide. Jennifer’s lawyer tried to make me out to be this monster that simply TOOK it all leaving her with nothing. Well the email and letter I sent her in May of 2010 was a nice touch; especially when I quoted the agreement. But the kicker is when Jennifer was testifying my attorney asked her if she got and read the email. She said YES. But as per her standard response to anything that deals with talking to me she quickly added that she would not respond because she feared I’d have her arrested. I mean come on…how many times is that one gonna fly? Well I went and as I said, her lawyer tried to make me out to be the guy that stole it all and left the poor lil lady with nothing. I made it clear I made several attempts to divide the furniture yet she took what she wanted and never bothered to discuss with me the items she took.

 She asked for all of the kid’s things, to include trophies and certificates, cloths, beds, dressers, you name it. But you have to ask yourself, as a parent, how come she didn’t take all that stuff when she left? How come she didn’t find a place that was large enough to house her and the kids? She knew she had shared custody…why not get a place big enough? How come she has waited a year and a half to no ask for more furniture? She could have split it up like I asked and placed it into storage.

 So when the dust settled…it was on the judge. He did clear up the child support. I will be paying $1391.11 a month starting in October based on both our salaries. How that works not sure with her, as far as I know currently unemployed. That day in court, she told the judge that she had a job lined up but just needed to wait until court was done because it was my fault she had lost her two former jobs due to the fact that I had taken her to court sooo many times prior to this. She also said how the kids would all be back in sports and what not. But also said it was on me to ensure I knew what was going on with them in their lives as well as school. Thats right sports fans...I was not to contact her about any and all issues concerning school. I was to contact my children if I wanted that information. 

 Two months later, they aren’t in sports, I guess it’s ok that they aren’t. But I call and text them almost daily. Moo actually sent me an I love you back which I of course saved on my phone. Everyone asks how they are doing and as far as I know they are well. I don’t ask about their Mom or what she is or isn’t doing. I honestly don’t care. I care that they are doing well and adjusting to their current living condition.

 The judge made his ruling and he gave her all of her personal belongings that she left with me when she left. He also gave her our deep freezer and the kitchen table and chairs. So yet again…she got what she asked for. Yet, she still isn’t happy. How come? Oh, the judge agreed that she should be responsible for getting all the items. Translates to she must come here to Alabama and pick up all the items. I informed her that I would have all items ready for shipment to her this weekend and I just wanted to know when she’d be coming to get them. I even told her since the kids were coming down for fall break and we had to make the exchange (Judge ordered all travel to be 50% so she must meet me halfway) I was willing to bring items with me for both exchanges since I acknowledged that she was financially strapped.

 How was I repaid, more calls down here to my unit saying things like she has been published on the front page of the newspaper and that I have defrauded the taxpayers. She is unable to pay the cost since I have not paid her the BAH. I mean seriously?

I got a call from JAG yesterday and it was explained and made clear to me just how many times she has called down here to their offices as well as the half-truths and lies she has told in order to get someone’s attention for her complaint. Problem is when they check into it they soon find out all the information that she has excluded.  So…my journey continues…and with it the hope that one day this will all cease.

Monkey See...Monkey Do.

8AUG11

A few mornings ago I was listening to The Steve Harvey Show and he was talking about your “gift” or as I grew up calling it, your “God given talent.” He spoke about it and how some folks struggle until they realize that gift and then proceed to nourish it and allow it to grow and touch others lives. Whether it’s running, talking or cutting hair…we all have a gift and we all should use it. And if that gift allows us to touch other’s lives then we should surely use it; because if we don’t, it’s a shame and a waste. I loved to draw growing up but that gift wasn’t nourished. I always felt it was my gift and that I had somehow wasted it; but as I grew older I found less and less time to draw, but behold, I discovered or shall I say rediscovered my love of writing. I now wonder if writing is my actual gift. My former therapist told me how I had aided them at a tough time in their life. I was truly shocked and dumb founded. I struggling to deal with my own crap…how is it that I’m helping them through theirs?

A while ago a friend asked me why do I write and I explained. I explained that it wasn’t so much to tell my side of a story but more of a story about choices. We can all choose to do whatever it is we wish. But there are times we have to make some very tough choices and many are very unpopular. Ever heard someone say, “Monkey see…monkey do?” We see someone else doing something and we follow suit. So maybe someone will read how I have conducted myself and inspire them to do what’s perceived as right…even though it too may be unpopular. This past weekend I went to church and part of the message was that things aren’t always about you. Sometimes we are tasked with doing things for some other persons benefit. As I sat there listening…I thought to myself, “How many times have people written me and asked me how I was doing or how I managed to stay where I am amongst all the chaos and craziness?”  My response was usually I don’t really know. But writing and talking to people would be my best guest. We all deal with issues differently but I think that sharing not only helps you but helps another too; we just aren’t always privy to that information nor do we always get to know who it is we may be helping.  I mean you never know what someone else is going through unless they choose to tell you and they don’t always do that.

 A friend of mine recently suffered a loss in the family and we have chatted several times since I was told the news. I do my best to listen and allow them to vent and get things of their chest because I kinda understand where they are coming from. They are angry and other times they simply what to know why. Why it happened and how come know one new anything. I answered the best way I can…I say we don’t always get to know the whys, we just have to accept what’s happened and move forward the best way we know how. To me…keeping things bottled in isn’t always the best course of action. I’m a firm believer in therapy and or old school venting. But to vent you truly need a non-judgmental friend. Someone that will truly allow you to get things off your chest and you not feel like you’re being judged or looked down upon because they see you at a perceived time of weakness.

 For over a year I have written about my life and things that have taken place in it. I guess it goes back to the message this past Sunday. I believe that if one person can read something I have written and understand that they aren’t alone and that we all have things to deal with. I know there were times I felt no one could possible understand what I was doing, what I was dealing with and how it all made me feel. But low and behold…the more different and diverse people I spoke too, the more I realized that my situation wasn’t so special and that lots of folks were dealing with the same sorta things I was. I have been told that I inspired some to be a better person or to maybe forgive someone that did them wrong. That wasn’t my goal nor intention yet it happened anyway. My life experiences touched someone else’s…good or bad.

 Drawing, writing, listening and talking are forms of communication; forms that touch different people differently. So maybe my gift is about communication and using it to help others. I don’t really know but I think it’s time I find out.

Kids are in KY

25July

 I dropped the kids off this past weekend. That was a lot tougher than I thought; for them and for me. The drop off took place at the Radcliff Police Department. Jennifer insisted on this…fearing that I would start something and she was yet again...AFRAID of me. Oh brother. How many times am I gonna have to hear the same song and dance coming from her. If I had a dime for every time she said it, I’d be rich. LOL. She had the neighbor (Dee), go figure bring her to pick up the kids.  What I found funny was Dee’s demeanor. She acted as if she was disgusted by this and the fact that my children were clearly upset and crying. How dare they act like this, they would be living with their Mom who loved them and their father is nothing more than a MONSTER for ruining their mother’s life. What was really funny was when I got home her son came across the street to talk as he has done since 2005. I soon heard her call him back across the street with a tone that showed clear disgust. She’s never said squat to him. Even when he was taking my mail out of my mail box…nothing. But now you’re gonna make your son come back across the street? LOL.

  They have lived with me for their entire lives and now we are going to be apart. Jennifer had the nerve to tell them “It’s just like one of Daddy’s deployments.”  What a crock of shit! We are apart and will suffer a strained relationship because she refuses to co-parent with me. I guess she will allow the boys to use her lap top to talk with me via yahoo messenger…ROFLMAO. Yeah, just like when I was in Korea right. NOT! She also told the judge she’d have a job by now, she was gonna ensure that the kids were all back to playing sports because I wouldn’t allow them to play anything.  Well I am sure gonna hold her to her word as best I can.

 The whole week prior you could feel the tension building within the kids. Fighting, arguing or nothing, I felt for them yet I couldn’t do anything about it. So Friday night we all went out to dinner and a movie. Kind of a last hoorah of sorts. Jennifer had been calling down here to speak to the kids almost at an hourly rate and to Benning in an effort to find someone within the military to order me to pay her. No such luck. I have and will continue to take care of my responsibilities as I have my entire life. When I dropped the kids off I wrote her a check for 1,400.00 as well as I gave her the current registration on the Mazda which she is solely responsible for. Yet when I mentioned to her about the kids and fall break she scowled back at me, “That’s what lawyers are for!” LOL. That’s cool...I posted dated the check 2AUG11. Hehehe thank God for the lil victories.

 Sunday I get another call from her…again, threaten me with calling folks that have this “power’ to make me do what they want. This time a COL Wadsworth was gonna get a call about how I refused to register the car, pay her money and God knows what else. Wait…didn’t I just say I gave her the current registration and a check for 1400.00? RME. The drama that Jennifer causes is just ridiculous. If she spent have the amount of time she spends complaining about unfair treatment and took that energy and used it for finding employment…their wouldn’t be an issue.  Now she’s calling my realtor asking about a washer and dryer. She just won’t stop.

 She so desperately wanted our children in her possession…which she now has yet she still isn’t happy. At this point I have not a clue what she actually wants. She wanted a divorce, she got it. She wanted me to “Leave her alone”, she got it. She wanted her own life, she got it. She wanted to be a “single mother”, she got it. She wanted a new car paid for by me, she got it. She wanted child support, she got it. So how can you have everything that you asked for…yet still be unsatisfied? Oh…I know, she wants me to be unhappy and miserable…she isn’t getting that.

 So my kids are now back in KY with their Mom. School starts in a week and I dropped about 200 per child getting them some school cloths to take back home. So at least they will start school with some new items. Being a single parent isn’t easy. I have learned that from numerous female friends I have made the past two years. I have always had respect for single parents but you really don’t know what it’s like until you actually walk in their shoes.

I always cover myself, some folks should keep that in mind...

I wrote this back in May of 2009. It's pretty clear and I'd love to have this explained in court. Here is another example of my craziness...LMAO.

Jennifer,                                                                                                        23May10

 

 Hope you have had a pleasant day. I am writing you this letter as a friendly reminder that our arrangement is due to end in one week. As per our separation agreement and subsequent divorce decree, I agreed to pay for both the house, the apartment and all general utilities until the end of the 2009-2010 school year at said time I claim the home and I will pay you partial child support according to KY guidelines. All items in the home need to be agreed upon to whom will take said items if an agreement can not be made, and then we would allow the court to decided who gets said items.

 The last time I will be at the apartment is 30 May at which you will back at the apartment unless you have already acquired your own living accommodations. If you can have all you belongings out by that Sunday would be great. I would appreciate it if you make a list of the things you would like to take with you so we can avoid going to court and wasting money. If not, then I’d like a date at which time you will come and get all your things. This needs to be done soon so as to make this as easy and simple as possible. What I don’t want to happen is every month getting a call asking to come get more things. If you would like to keep the apartment then you should speak with the owner, their number is 268-0825 (Pin Oak Acquisitions). This started a year ago and I have owned up to my obligation as per the divorce decree we both signed and agreed upon.

 The end date of this agreement was known on the first day our school and when we received the school’s calendar. I am not asking for anything outside of reason since we made the agreement on 27May09, close to a year ago and we have had a year to plan this and decide what we wanted vs. do not want. I also would like to coordinate to pick up the other door key to the apartment so I can clear the apartment; the lease terminates on 1 June. If you could get me your bank account as well as the routing number I will set up an allotment so that the child support will go directly to your account with no hassle at all.

 Also the issue with the Mazda’s title and registration must be dealt with. I agreed to pay the debt and that’s it. The vehicle has to be put in your name for numerous reasons the main one being it is your vehicle as you have assumed responsibility for it. I will agree to co-sign a loan and continue to pay for it until the loan is repaid. This way the vehicle can be titled, registered and insured in your name, solely. I am leaving this letter at the house as well as sent a copy to your email.

 

          Jerome

A message from my former spouse

I found out that this was her response to the aforementioned letter I wrote her days ago.

In regards to your 'threat' to try to get me to pay YOUR credit DEBT and the house that you let go to Hell? Simply because I am asking for a fair distribution of the personal property? Not surprising. You REALLY do believe that I deserved NOTHING from the home. Do you not see how abusive you appear? That because I left you-because I could NOT tolerate one more minute of you ripping shirts off of you, your lying manipulations and your SCREAMING in my face-that I should have left with NOTHING?

You see, Jerome. Now that people can step back and see the whole picture and the grand scope of all of the horrendous things you have done to my children and I? You look like a MONSTER. Because? You ARE a Monster. Even people like Dee and Derrick and countless community members who had trouble wrapping their mind around the insanity now sit back and say. "WOW". You managed to get EPO's on me and a DVO. By LYING. Now? Everyone can sit back and (my lawyer's laughter is the best on this stupidity) see that after insisting on sharing TWO residences-INSISTING on paying for everything then you go and tell a Judge you need 'PROTECTION' from me? Haha! Makes NO SENSE. Now? Everyone can sit back and see how you let corrupt social services ABUSE your OWN children. You let them go through HELL to try and protect your OWN ass. WOW. After YOU were reported for abuse? You then let me get attacked after the Judge realised he had made a HUGE mistake believing that you were this 'respectable protector of others' in your Soldier Uniform. And, now? Everyone sees what a FAKE you are. A WOLF in Sheep's clothing.

So, the nice thing is I now have an open and closed lawsuit against the Cabinet. And? I am looking into a civil lawsuit against YOU. Yep, brace yourself. You think you can try to RUIN someone's life? LIE about the stupidest things in court and TESTIFY against someone to take away their Constitutional Right to Parent? You think you can maliciously LIE against someone's character? Slander their name? Take their personal property and go on a Personal Vendetta for TWO YEARS to destroy someone? You think you can take away someone's Constitutional Right to their PROPERTY? Destroy their ability to earn an income by LYING and dragging them in and out of court? Sounds pretty Criminal. And that is what you are. A complete Criminal. Hiding behind a Soldier's Uniform and pretending to be 'caring' for your children. What a MONSTER.

And? For all that you have done to drag my children and I through absolute insanity? For trying to ruin my name? For trying to take EVERYTHING from me? For RUINING my life? I am suing you in Civil Court. Good Luck with that one, too. Everything is catching up to you.

And what was it all for? I left you for this VERY reason. You are a cruel, vindictive and bitter man who will PUNISH and TAKE. You will sink to ANY low to try and protect your 'fake life' so you can sleep thinking people look at you and see a 'Man' that has his life together. And it is FAKE. Your life is a LIE. You don't have an honest bone in your body. And? I'm NOT letting you play games with MY life anymore. You have NO right.

Do what is right for your children-if that is even possible for you to do the right thing anymore. Quit lying to yourself. It's actually just pathetic to watch at this point. To listen to the dribble of 'I care about my kids' (eventhough they have had to experience such insanity-with NO CHOICE because this is what you have irresponsibly and selfishly chosen for them)....I 'do the right thing' (WHAT have you done right? really?).....'Now that you are dragging me back to court-it takes from the children'....Haha! I have no choice because my children's father is a stereotype and REFUSED to pay child support WITHOUT a court order...WOW. I could go on.

You listened to my Mother-which I will tell you has been one of your WORST mistakes. You see, because, simply put? Your behavior-that she encouraged- has been criminal. But-I can see why-because you two share one thing in common. She is ALSO a very hateful, vindictive and bitter person. And? It's textbook. As in all dysfunctional relationships the Abuser needs a Scapegoat. Someone to BLAME. And you both have always chosen me. And? I'm NOT your Scapegoat anymore. I did nothing wrong by leaving you. If 50% of America can get a Divorce so can I. I hated being married to you. I hated your abuse. I couldn't even stand the sound of your voice at the end. I hated how you treated my children. I hated how you kept us in debt. And? Most of all, I hated you for being a fake. I hated you for being a HYPOCRITE. I hated your 'facade'. I HATED being your 'trophy' wife who you treated like SHIT. I hate you. I really do. And that is because you are so hateful and mean.

Maybe, for your sake-you will stop your lying and fake life. Maybe that will allow you to salvage a relationship with your children. Alex saw through it and wants NOTHING to do with a FAKE impersonator of life. That's on you. Not me. In the meantime? QUIT your games. We are all sick of it. Not just us. The COMMUNITY, the Courts-hell, the Police got sick of you a long time ago. Jesus Christ-do you NOT see what a fool you are making of yourself?

So, that being said-I will sue you for RUINING my potential for income-for LYING (for every one of YOUR lies? I have TWENTY people willing to counter it and tell the TRUTH). I will sue you for DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER (again-for every one of your lies about my character-I have TWENTY people who will tell a different story). You and my mother also need to GIVE UP on the whole-"She's mentally ill" crap. Number one? If I were mentally ill? I would have never survived the marriage-let alone the divorce. Number Two? Judge Hall needs to re-read the Psychological Report where Dr. Marvin CLEARLY states that I DO NOT meet the criteria for a Personality Disorder. And (Judge Hall knows this) he is NOT a 'Qualified Mental Health Professional" Haha. And he made that a part of Court Record! Hilarious-I'm so embarassed for him. Number Three? Dr. Marvin kept telling me "Remember-I'm basing my remarks on the 'Evidence' only-what has been 'presented to me'....lol!! In other words? The LIES of you and KIM SAPP. HEARSAY (by the way). The truth is? A man who does the HORRIBLE things you have done? A man who drags his kids through a nightmare? A man who takes his own children from their mother? A man who does this? Is MENTALLY ILL. A mother (your lovely ex mother in law) who abandons her daughter? A mother who supports a man who ABUSED her daughter for FIFTEEN YEARS? A mother who wishes her own daughter to lose custody of HER children? Is MENTALLY ILL. You and my mother? Are insane.

See you in court. I hope you have to pay for all of your lies and games. See? My life? Isn't YOUR game. I'm dead serious. I have all of the court record. Poor Judge Hall looks like such a fool half of the time listening to your complete NONSENSE. Kim Sapp? Couldn't even explain the Jan/2010 'incident'. Hilarious. Worth Millions-literally-for VIOLATING my Constitutional Right to parent, exercise my RIGHT to COUNSEL-oh? And the CONSPIRACY? Of which YOU partook in? Yeah-by you ALL conspiring to keep me from my kids if I didn't plead 'guilty' to 'neglect'? MAJOR Color of Law Violation-A FELONY. And, luckily, by the GRACE of God, I can PROVE IT. And you? STUPIDLY were a part of it. WOW. All in an effort to Punish me. Who DO you think you ARE trying to ruin MY life?  Well, honey, you set your own self up being a hateful, hateful fool. I hope you all do time in Prison-that's where criminals belong.

Give me what is right so I can resume taking excellent care of my children. That's right, the children I carried and gave birth to. They deserve a LIFE absent of their father's redundant abuse and bitterness. You are NOT hurting me. You have SERIOUSLY hurt YOURSELF by being a part of literal CRIMES against me. WOW. You just have no idea do you? And? You ARE hurting them. And? They know this. They are not stupid. I can live without it all. I already have and I survived. You can't TAKE me down. Sorry, Soldier-but I DON'T lie and I don't sink to your lows and look like a fool. But, they are children and need to see their father doing the right thing. It's not rocket science. GROW UP.

(PS-look up Color of Law Violations. Oh, and get copies of the Court Record that show your testimony, your LIES and? Your conspiracy with Social Services, the Prosecutor and the Judge to VIOLATE my RIGHT to my Kids, my life, my ability to earn an income. Do yourself a favor. Don't dig yourself a BIGGER ditch than you already have. You belong in Prison for taking away my RIGHTS...And? I'm taking them BACK!!!)