So,
the Super Bowl has come and gone but there is still a bitter taste in some fan's
mouths. Panthers fans will move pass the loss as will the players. Denver's fans
will take in their win and enjoy a year’s worth of gloating. But for some this
is an opportunity to kick and attack a man’s character while he’s down. The
man I speak of is Cam Newton, QB of the Panthers. Sunday, accompanied by his
teammates played a very
uncharacteristic style of football. Balls were fumbled,
passes dropped and tackles were missed, it was a total team loss. This was not the
same team my son and I had the pleasure of cheering for all season. The one
thing we noticed from the very start was a smile was missing from Cam's face. That
smile my son and I love to see as he plays football. He takes me back to a time
when you played football for fun. With your buddies in the street, empty lot or on a
grassy field nearby.
When we eventually get to suit up and play full contact
ball, man… there wasn't a better feeling in the whole world. So some of us, really
enjoyed it for what it is… a game. A game that we get to watch someone else have fun playing
much like we used to do. But this past Sunday, there was no smile from Cam, no Superman. In other words
it was uncharacteristic behavior.
But he didn’t let us down at the end
of the game. He walked over to the winning
QB Peyton Manning and for a brief
moment we got to see that infectious smile as he congratulated Manning on his
win. Then he left the field to acknowledge that his season was indeed over.
They had lost and it was now time to hit the locker room. It’s unfortunate that
players can’t just deal with their loss. They must now go and relive that loss.
They must go and talk with some of the most obnoxious and insensitive people
there are. They must go and talk to the press. Yep, you lose the super bowl, now
go sit, smile, and
be happy that these grown ass men get to rub it in your face;
that not only did you lose, but imply that somehow you didn’t play your best, you let
your fans down, and you blew your chance for victory. Did I mention that you are
supposed to sit there and enjoy this? Because yeah… you are. For some it is
arguably the worst day, or evening of their lives and then have to sit through it and make
nice. All because it’s what SOME people expect. No, it's what they demand. We as a society
love to put people on pedestals. But the one thing we love even more than that, is to
watch them
fall off that pedestal, and then we relish in it. Gloat, rub it in, call
names, and in the words of today’s youth… hate on them.
So like he was supposed to, Cam went
to that press conference and he began to field questions. What I did notice
different was he still had his pants on and wore a hoody. There was no infectious smile and painfully
he began to answer questions. Most were very short and to the point. I can
understand that. I didn’t say agree, I said understand. I mean seriously, how
many
times can you tell someone you lost the game? How much colorful language
is supposed to be used to describe the loss? How long do you have to sit and patiently answer the
same exact questions when the only thing that’s different is the way and who
it’s being asked by? But for Cam there was still no smile, no grin, no gum chewing,
and no
fashionable clothes. Just Cam, a hoody and a grimacing look. (Some people actually pointed out he wore a hoody as if they were quietly implying something)You could
tell that he was drained mentally, and drained... physically. His attire clearly
relayed that he hadn’t even showered, nor had he even processed the loss. For him,
it probably felt like he was answering a million questions, and for a moment, that moment he
was frozen in time. Reliving the loss over and over and over and over. Man,
that’s got to be hard on a player and competitor.
I can only imagine how I
would feel. At some point, Cam got up, stopped fielding questions and
uncharacteristically walked out. When I found out he did this I was like “Damn,
he just gave them the ammo they needed.” And I was right, when I cut the news
on to CBS this morning they were attacking him. I flipped to ABC, they were
attacking him, flipped to ESPN… yep… attacking him. Went online to Facebook,
comments, threads, and memes galore. All attacking him. God our society loves
to take the moral high ground when it’s convenient and act like we have
personally done no wrong. And what’s even better is the lack of empathy or
understanding for his actions. So it makes me
wonder… how come?
I think the
answer lies somewhere in our individual socialization processes. How we are raised, the
values we hold, and what we truly believe in. But those things also cause a
great deal of friction when they don’t align up with someone else’s. In this
instance, Cam Newton. A young black professional QB, and public figure.
After he strangely walked out of the press conference, it didn’t take long for
his personal actions to rub up against the values and beliefs of fans and the
press. Rubbing them all the wrong way. Many would become vocal, especially when it’s so easy to hide behind
a profile on a computer screen. “Unprofessional,” “Classless,” “Immature,” “Big
Baby,” “Unsportsman like,”
“Punk,” and my favorite “Nigger.” Hell, Bill
Romanowski (known for his dirty play) called him a “boy” in one of his tweets. (Many know or perhaps don’t
know that the word BOY raises an eyebrow from some of us, especially black men)
All those names thrown at a young man because at some point he decided to leave
an interview. He didn't curse, didn't spit in someone's face. For what ever reason he got up and walked out. (Many headlines said STORMED out adding to the immature fire) And throughout the day I heard and read comment after comment
about his “Unprofessional” and “Immature” conduct at the press conference. Not
one comment I read wanted to know what caused him to leave or even tried to get a
sense of what he was thinking or feeling. Not one person appeared to remind themselves he's just a man, he's human and just perhaps he was overwhelmed in the moment. In other words give him the benefit
of the doubt or seek the truth behind his actions. As the day progressed, articles
began popping up that talked about other players who have done the same in the past including elite QB Tom Brady. One
notable player was of his rival QB for the game, Peyton Manning. A man which when
people think of “professional” or “class act,” he tends to come to mind. One of
the articles talks about how Manning left the field after the Colt’s loss in
Super Bowl XLIV. He didn’t shake hands, he didn't congratulate to the winning coach nor the QB. He simply
walked of the field. Not much was said negatively about Manning’s actions. He
was however given the benefit of the doubt and he later explained his actions. All was right in the world again.
End of story. So, you got to ask yourself, how come Manning (and others) got to explain
before attacks flooded the TV and media but Cam didn’t? How come we hold some players to a higher standard than others? Some will say it’s
because of color, some will say it’s Cam's attitude. Some say, “He just rubs me the wrong way.” I can’t answer why any of this is. I can
only speculate based on my life experiences and what I have witnessed. But I do
know that in this society, some people will always get the benefit of the doubt
while others will be ridiculed.
I don’t
understand what was so wrong with what Cam did if others in the past have done
the same of similar. Why has he received the criticism at the level he has? Was
what he did really unprofessional or immature? And if so, who defines what
unprofessional or immature is? You, me, the press? I wonder how many of you
have looked in the mirror and asked yourselves, “Am I always professional?” I
know and have worked with a lot of guys. I’ve witnessed a lot of actions by
them that to me were unprofessional. Lying, cheating stealing, you name it, I have friends that have done it. I’ve seen fellow leaders talk about
another behind their back, better yet stab them in the back. I’ve seen fellow peers disregard orders. I’ve seen
friends cheat on their spouses. I’ve seen friends refuse to shake hands after a
softball game or fight because they didn't like the call. And I have known guys who got DUIs, and disrespected their peers
and subordinates in public. I have seen many of the same people commenting on Facebook
state how he was immature or unprofessional yet I know what many of them have
done in their personal lives and to me, their actions then and some today are
immature and unprofessional. My point is we have all done things that we may
regret or wish we could take back. But I guess somehow Cam must be a better man
than many of you because you clearly expect more out of him than you do your
own selves. Later in the day, articles popped up stating that for the first
time in known NFL history it was the first time the losing QB was interviewed
right next to the winning defensive players. The article accompanied by videos
allowed you to hear what he heard which, based on the article may have motivated him to get up and leave. And for some of you I ask, was it
“professional and mature” of the winners to talk about him and his teammates as
they did? I mean many of you said he should have been “classy and humble” in
his loss. Well, don’t we as a society say that winners are supposed to be
humble and classy? Or does this only apply to people we take issue with?
I ask because I know many of you do
not like Cam. You don’t like nor get the “Dab.” You think he’s brash, arrogant,
a fake show man who plays to the crowd. Many say “He smiles too much… its fake!”, and my personal
favorite, “He doesn’t play like he’s supposed to.” Ahhh yeah, there it is. A
clash of cultures. You see, Cam isn’t like many of you. He didn’t grow up
like
many of you. He didn’t listen to the same music as you. He didn’t have the same
idols as you and his socialization process was not like yours. He is from a
different generation. It reminds me of ole "Broadway Joe" Namath and how he carried himself. Folks hated the long hair, the fancy clothes and the swag. Why couldn't Joe "look" like a football player? You know, high and tight, squeaky clean image aka the good ole All-American boy. People fear and loath what they can't understand. I grew up during a time when you better not do anything
and I do mean anything except hand the ball to the ref after a touchdown.
Anything less… you were gonna get an ear full from the Coach. Hell, some thought
passing the ball was weak because a “real football” team runs the ball at you,
aka “smash mouth” football. “Trick plays? I ain’t running no trick plays. I’m
gonna come straight at ya!!!” We all have an idea of what and how the game should be played and this typically
extends over to the players. But at the end of the day, I know I’m not them and
they aren’t me.
So when you can admit that you can see these players and their
actions in a different light. If Cam was the kind of guy to wear some crazy
$800 pants, speak his mind and play the position of QB his way, capitalizing on
his talents, how could you be surprised that he wouldn’t have the courage to
get up and walk out of a press conference for whatever the reason was?
Imagine
you’re at your mother’s funeral. She just died from a battle with cancer and
you know in your heart of hearts you weren’t the best son. Matter of fact, you
were too busy to visit her the last few months. Now as your mother is being
lowered into the ground and while you’re walking to your car, a bunch of reporters run
up to you and start asking you questions. “Why weren’t you at your mother’s
side?”, “Why weren't you a better son?”, “How does it fell knowing you were a
horrible son and now your mother’s dead?” Would you stand there, be a man, a good
son, and a “professional” and answer them? Now I know some of you are gonna rationalize
and say that this isn’t the same thing. Well when you peel away the layers and get to the core, I’m sorry
to tell you, but it is. What I said attacked your personal values/ beliefs and
it’s supposed to. But I know that some of you, hell the majority of you will argue
that it, and some things similar are not the same. Many of you will continue to hold
others to a higher standard of conduct than you do yourselves or your friends.
And that’s alright, you can do and live how you wish. Many of you could never
put yourself in another’s shoes because that would mean you’d not only have to
look at yourselves in the mirror but also admit… you aren’t as “good” of a
person as you envision you are.
If I was a mere 26 years old, how
would I handle it? In short, if I put myself in his shoes… how would I fare? If
I’m honest with you, really honest with you I must truthfully answer… I don’t
know. I don’t know because I’m 46 years old. My father was in the military and
I grew up an Army brat. Then, at 17 I joined the military and spent the better
part of my adult life in service to my country. That and all the experiences have
shaped me into who I am. But when I was 26, I was not the same man I am today. Today
I question, today I seek knowledge and today I’m not so judgmental. I don't hold
others to a higher standard of conduct than I do myself. So I will close with this one thought, understand
I may not agree with what Cam did but as a man, a person, and human being who
has suffered personal losses… I can understand it. And that makes me normal. I ask all of you who attacked him with your words to get up from your PC, laptops or phones, and go stand in the mirror. Once there, look at yourself and reflect on who you TRULY are and ask yourself, "Are you a better man than Cam?"
