What Words Can Say

Obsess: haunt in mind; preoccupy or be preoccupied greatly.

Obsession: idea, etc. that obsesses one.

Exaggerate: make seem greater than it really is; overstate.

Lie: make a false statement knowingly.

Harass: trouble or attack constantly.

 Hate: a strong dislike

Bitter: sorrowful, painful, resentful, etc.

Divorce: legal dissolution of a marriage.

Paranoid: mental illness of feeling persecuted.

Narcissism: self-love.

Mal: bad or badly.

Adapt: fit or adjust as needed.

Accountable: responsible.

Responsible: obliged to do or answer for.

Omit: to leave out.

Not too long ago I wrote a post on FB and used these same 15 words. 15 words with various meanings but speak volumes if you ask me. I sat on a Saturday morning and just starting looking each one up in my dictionary…writing down what Webster defined them as. Its funny how we can pick and choose to use words to either describe us or things in our life. It’s even more amazing when we use these words incorrectly as if we are uneducated or ill informed.

 I’ve always had a problem with words, especially when I feel they aren’t being used correctly. Guess you can say it’s a pet peeve of mine. So as I sit here…sippin on a Bud Light Platinum listening to music I sit and wonder. How come we use words incorrectly? Is it because we are dumb? Maybe it’s because we are too lazy to read and understand what it is we are saying. Or…maybe we are misguided and we just aren’t as smart as we like to think? Hmmmmmm???????

 Obsess: haunt in mind; preoccupy or be preoccupied greatly and Obsession: idea, etc. that obsesses one; are two words which (verb and noun) describe an action that we can commit or a thing that we can sometimes do. Being obsessed or having an obsession can be a good thing. But mainly it’s a word that we associate with it being bad or negative. People obsess about objects, places and people. In the movies when someone obsesses about another person…it usually turns out bad for one of the two parties. Don’t believe me; watch Fatal Attraction, Obsessed or Single White Female. Yeah…didn’t end all too well for someone now did it? Yeah I know that they are all movies but they do show how a person can obsess about another and not in a good way.

Exaggerate: make seem greater than it really is; overstate, Lie: make a false statement knowingly, Omit: to leave out. Are more words that we use from time to time when we want to add color to often dull and boring stories we tell about our lives. They can make life seem larger than it actually is. But as they can add color to life they too can cause one problems when their definitions are used incorrectly during situations we may find ourselves in based on our own actions. Which leads to words like Accountable: responsible, Responsible: obliged to do or answer for. These will now make us, or should make us stand up and take notice. Make us adults in a sense, and own up to what it is we may be doing or saying at the time. These two words are surely adult words yet many shrink and avoid them at all cost. Why…I guess you can say its immaturity or maybe its fear. Fear that maybe we aren’t really grown up and we are just pretending to be grownups.

When we refuse to grow up and act as adults it can seem as if we become Paranoid: mental illness of feeling persecuted or even display Narcissism: self-love. Like everyone is out to get us or attack us. When truth be told…most of the time it isn’t true. It’s normally the people that love us the most and only want to see us well and healthy get accused of conspiring to do us wrong or hurt us when it’s simply not the case. Not at all but they can act suspicious of others, irritable, often jealous, and tend to overvalue their private perspective on the world. They are just suspicious and hostile all the time.  Man…that’s got to be trying I’d think. Narcissism only adds fuel to the fire which is paranoia. You start to believe you are above any and all. Most of this behavior is designed to impress others or boost one’s image or yourself. That your thoughts or ideas are so grand and important that you should share them with people you feel are there to support you. But it can back fire when you start to feel distraught over a ruined social relationship, having alienated friends, family members or a marriage partner. You may even feel that you are above the law. This kind of thinking is dangerous and can only lead you down a path to self-destruction. For yourself and relations ships that you may have spent the better part of your life time cultivating. Friends…family…loved ones…no one is safe because you will see them as the enemy and out to get you.

And when the enemy surrounds you can begin to Harass: trouble or attack constantly. Attack those trying to help you because in your mind…they aren’t trying to help you. They are only out to hurt you. Once you have that mindset it’s easy to find yourself hating those people.  Hate: a strong dislike. I recall so many years ago a fellow Corporal who was stationed with me in Korea telling me you should never hate anyone. “Hate is a strong word Dingle,” he said. “You should never use it. You should say you dislike their ways because it’s impossible to hate someone.” That conversation stuck with me and I have done my best since that day to not say I hate someone. Because he was right…hate is a very strong and powerful word.

But some will use that word and choose to associate it with a relationship(s). Especially after a bad break up or Divorce: legal dissolution of a marriage. And for some…once you find yourself there you can clearly become let’s say…Bitter: sorrowful, painful, resentful, etc. Unable to move on, unable to let go of your past and look towards your new future that you so desired. Bitterness doesn’t actually hurt those your bitter towards if you think about it. I mean let’s look at those your bitter at…I bet they aren’t sitting around being bitter. I’m willing to bet they have moved on and enjoying their life while you sit and stew in the bitterness which you yourself have created.  

An unwillingness to move forward and harbor resentment is viewed as maladaptive. Mal: bad or badly along with Adapt: fit or adjust as needed. By definition it’s an abnormality which prevents some normal, expected talent or ability from being expressed, or it has an adverse impact on the individual's ability to live harmoniously with others.

 So it all comes back on you. Who you are and what you learned about yourself as well as how to use words. It reminds me of a pretty profound quote I read some time ago. “Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right. It makes you free.” See…words are very powerful when you use them correctly.